The posts on my Wednesday blog got me thinking.
I’m naive and romantic to assume everyone else has Norman Rockwell, when it fact probably nobody does. That’s why Norman Rockwell paintings are so beloved — they’re an idealized view of everyday lives. And I’m naive to say a little tolerance will fix things. (In fact, my father worked for the Saturday Evening Post in the ’50s and early ’60, and he hated Rockwell’s work. Thought it was corny. It was, but that was part of its charm. It represents a world that doesn’t really exist but could.
Tolerance does help matters, though some people you just want to kill anyway, and they probably deserve it. Deb Dixon has a signature on her emails – I forget the exact phrase, but it’s “Any day I don’t kill someone is a good day.” People are infuriating, if you let them get to you. I try (sometimes too hard) not to let them get to me.
There’s a saying in Al-anon – don’t judge other people’s outsides by your insides. (I always get it confused). In other words, just because you feel broken and lost inside, don’t assume everyone you see, all the happy families, aren’t as lost and broken as you are. I see fathers and sons in stores and I think “why can’t it be like that in my family?” Well, it can’t, and I need to accept that. One thing that always impresses Crusie is that I’m so close to my kids. That they call me all the time and ask my advice and ask for help. Which is better than never hearing from them, but each extreme has its drawbacks.
I hate to tell you, but there’s a line from a Jewel song that I really believe (and who would think I’d be quoting Jewel?) Only kindness matters. In a way I think that’s true. Life is so full of pain and disappointment and anger and sorrow, and a little bit of kindness goes a long way.
I wish I had a big family at Thanksgiving and Christmas and had the drunken uncle and the obnoxious BIL. We had that in my parents’ generation. Maybe those sort of gatherings are becoming a thing of the past. I guess the holidays just make me miss family.
Anyway, lots to think about. I’m glad we brought Refab back — I get so much from comments.