Krissie: Marguerite

Photo on 1-17-13 at 9.33 AM #2 And here are the curls brushed out. I’ll definitely have it trimmed and shaped when I’m in NJ — you’ll see the results. But I wanted to talk to you about my inner Dresden ballerina. I put Marguerite someplace safe and now I don’t know where she is (my house eats things) but I figure this looks like Crusie and me. dresden What I figure is my inner Dresden ballerina is graceful, fragile, beautiful, and a little out of time (as in “not in the right time.”) And Jenny and I need to take care of that fragile creature inside our lioness personalities as we stride through the jungle. Not sure what her plans are, but I intend to do silly things for myself, like wear pretty clothes, put on earrings, makeup. Not slob around in Vermont clothes (I’m bringing no flannel down to NJ/NY). In fact, I’m sending down a separate suitcase with Sally full of NYC clothes, which are classier. It’ll be like Halloween — dress-up dollie and all that. I figure if I take the time taking care of my my body it signals another kind of self-care. Putting gardenia scented moisturizer (which I usually find to be a pain) is really self-love, and I’ll spend the time (not that i have any gardenia-scented moisturizer but I’ll find something). We’re going to eat good food — salads, etc. We’re going to get Jenny moved into her cottage (lots of pictures) and cuddle the dogs and watch exercise dvds (doesn’t mean we’ll actually do them).
We’re going to work hard and treasure ourselves.
I’m trying to think of more ideas that don’t cost money. Maybe just take some time off and go for a drive if the day is beautiful. Go to a movie. Watch my favorite movie if I remember to bring it down.
Maybe buy flowers. Anyone else have ideas on how to treasure ourselves? I need to reinforce that I’m worth it. Lots of people love me but it’s hard to believe it when I don’t love myself.
So self-love and caring is the focus.
We won’t discuss vibrators.

Krissie: Another Funeral, Another Show

Seriously. There was a benefit dinner and show last night for GAAR (the Greensboro Arts Alliance & Registry) and it was utterly fabulous. We had David and CJ, Charlie and an astonishingly talented young woman from the area play Shakespeare’s lovers, and it was funny, riveting, romantic. I’d forgotten just how much I loved Shakespeare. I’d also forgotten that back in my youth I memorized both “To Be Or Not To Be” and the entire balcony scene from “Romeo and Juliet.” Ah, youth.
There was one troublesome thing about it, though.
Charlie is 24 years old, the son of the director of GAAR, and he’s darling. He was the assistant stage manager in TSOM, as well as the priest and a a Nazi, he was on Broadway by the time he was seven, and he was the one who chose the selections and acted in half of them. He was brilliant. He went from Romeo to Richard the Third to Lysander, all of them funny and sly and charming (yes, even Shakespeare’s evil Richard had a certain reptilian charm).(And guess who I found the hottest? How well do you know me?)
Anyway, Charlie’s going to be a doctor. He wants a normal life, a wife and children, he’ll probably do family practice or pediatrics (not going for mega-bucks). He’s level-headed and sweet and hard-working.
But his gift! (She wails). Not for me to judge — I’m sure he’ll find his balance in the long-run. Having grown up in the business, he has a more jaundiced view of what life in the theater involves. He’s wise for his age (well, wise for any age), and he’ll make the right choices for him. It’s just that he was sooo good, and the thought of him throwing that away …
He’s not throwing it away. He’ll be saving lives. Except, of course, I believe that art has the ability to save lives. Gotta hope and believe it’ll work out as it should.

And then, for the third week in a row we have a funeral. Three weeks ago we buried my mother. Last week it was Uncle Walter. Today it’s Francy, a sweet, sweet woman who was a dear friend of both Richie’s Aunt Alice and my Aunt Emilie. She had a long, valiant fight with cancer, and was lucky enough to be able to make it up here to spend her last weeks, and after a lot of pain she went quickly and peacefully.
But I’m just not sure I can face another funeral. At least this one is in the church, not at the graveside. But in a way that might be even worse — since I didn’t have a church service it might just let the floodgates loose.
It’s about 70 degrees with a breeze and a clear blue sky. I want to be outdoors. So that’s what I’ll do.
Self-care. My god, isn’t that a major part of Reinventing one’s Fabulousness? And how often do I do it? Not very.
Another sign that this is really working.