I know, it’s make-it Tuesday and I see gorgeous stuff in the folder, but I’m too logy to manage it. I just woke up feeling overwhelmed, though right now I’m going to ignore that. Going to ignore the sudden crushing pressure.
It was -24 degrees last night. Fahrenheit. They closed schools around here, and they’re used to those kinds of temperatures (in January or February). But it’s not common. Jenny’s probably a popsicle right now.
It’s warmed up to a toasty -4 by 10 am. REally, we’re having a helluva an unsettled time when it comes to weather. Grrrrr. No, I’m not going there.
What I wanted to talk to about it weight. Yeah, I know. Think I’m gonna make it through Disney being good? Ha! Do you think I’ll return with the sudden plethora of Christmas tension and Christmas yummies? Ha!
So I thought about the new year, and relief! I can gear up and charge into the New Year with a new commitment.
But why? I know I always think that once I slip during the day I might as well go for broke. I went to OA for three years and it gave me the best wisdom of my life. With OA you don’t wait for a special date or a special time. You shouldn’t wait till New Year’s Day to give up drinking or drugs. Why wait for a specific day to give up stuff that’s unhealthy for you?
Then again, food addictions are different from drugs and alcohol. You don’t need drugs or alcohol to live. You don’t need to make choices — you have to stop (since I’m a 12 step person I think you need your higher power but some may disagree). Though people wait for New Year’s Day to stop smoking, don’t they?
Anyway, bottom line (literally speaking) is I’m gearing up for January 1. That’s going to be my main focus in the new year. And the good thing is that here I don’t have to make apologies or excuses or fuss about feeling about how many times I’ve said this. This is a safe place. I don’t need excuses or to feel bad about not sticking to something. This is a place where I can pick myself up and start again without feeling like a failure.
Oh, shit, they just said “a nasty wintry mix for Friday and the weekend” on the local weather. But that’s another issue. Anyway, that’s my plan.
I don’t intend to pig out ahead of time. In fact, the last couple of times I had fries I only ate half of them, and I don’t want them. Yesterday I had a breakfast bar for breakfast, a healthy peanut butter and sugar free jam sandwich for lunch, and when we went to Applebees I shared a salad with Richie, then ordered a platter that had two small steaks and mashed potatoes. I could only eat one steak and half the potatoes. So it’s not like full steam ahead. I’m just not going to focus on food until the holidays are over. If I want a cookie I’ll have it, but I’m not in the mood for a pig out.
I think it helps that I want to feel better. Looking better is always a real treat, but it isn’t vanity that’s pushing me, it’s physical discomfort that I know could be improved. So that’s my plan.