Pain and gain (krissie)

Well, it’s actually pain and no gain. 4About 6 weeks ago or thereabouts I decided to mend my ways on food, and since then I’ve cut out added sugar and white flours and fried, fatty stuff. I eat oatmeal for breakfast, a ww bagel w. healthy peanut butter for lunch, and healthy stuff for dinner, plus a small salad almost every night. Lots of fruit, other veggies (I could push the veggies) snack is usually a fiber one bar. Grazing in between that I haven’t been paying attention to, but mostly I think it’s amounts. I weighed myself a couple of times and the scale hadn’t moved. I haven’t weighed myself in more than a month but the clothes are still tight. So ….
Tomorrow I’ll weigh myself. But I’m also going back to MyNetDiary (Crusie calls her Nettie) to figure out what exactly it is that I’m doing. Because I’m in such pain, all over, but particularly my knees and shoulder. Losing weight won’t help the shoulder, which isn’t progressing as it should, but it’ll help the knees and the feet. and mostly I’m exhausted all the time, and it should really help with that.
I do happen to have fibromyalgia, which I ignore. I figure if you pay attention it only encourages it. But my problem (in terms of pain and exhaustion) might be as simple as a fibro-flareup. In which case there’s not a whole lot I can do but wait it out. But I refuse to give in (and fortunately because I’m not depressed I don’t think I have some dire, hidden disease that’s just waiting to pop out and kill me). But man, I am tired of hurting. I realized I haven’t been anywhere since I last visited Crusie, and that was in the fall, for God’s sake! Way too long.
There’s not a lot of things I can do under the circumstances, including the circumstances around Tim. But I can start tracking my food and putting effort into it.
So that’s what I’m going to do.
BTW a packet of instant oatmeal (gotta go back to making it) for breakfast, a whole wheat bagel with natural peanut butter for lunch, a fiber one bar, a ciabatta with olive oil, a salad with 5 croutons all come to comes to 942 calories. I still haven’t added the salad (I figure lettuce and stuff is basically free), the cooked chicken that I’ll add or the careful amount of salad dressing, plus a combination of bananas, strawberries and blueberries for dessert.

That doesn’t seem like too damned much but in terms of calories and weight loss I’m sure it is. One thing I can do is have half a bagel for lunch. That would cut the carbs and the peanut butter in half. Oh, and that’s including the bottle of Mexican coke I allow myself in the afternoon. Fortunately I like my coffee black. I’ve also been having half a ciabatta, and they’re multi-grain with extra fiber so that counts too. I just have to make sure I stick at one half.

So I’m giving Nettie a run for her money, and I’m going to do what they always tell you to do and I always ignore. I’m going to enter what I eat for a few days (probably not an entire week) so I can see where all the calories are coming from.

I’ll report back.

Jenny: Not Dead Yet

It’s 4AM on Friday, so I have officially missed all three days I was supposed to post.  I’ll get caught up this weekend, but for right now, I’m missing Krissie (it’s like the light leaves the room when she’s gone), and I’ve got the vampire doctor tomorrow (he always drains my blood), but today I saw my nurse practitioner for the first time since she said, “You have diabetes.  Things have to change.”  Today, she looked at my stats and sat back and said, “I”m thrilled with you.”  By their scales (not mine), I’ve lost twelve pounds.  I’ve also improved my glucose levels to pre-diabetic levels (still not healthy but so much better) and dropped my blood pressure into the high-normal range.  I told her, “I changed my eating; next is exercise,” and she said that was fine.  I think she was so happy that I’d actually made changes that she trusted me that I’d move on to exercise.  And I will.  I just couldn’t Change All The Things at once.  She talked about how hard it was to see people with diabetes ignore the changes they had to make, and how frustrating it was because diabetes is an entirely manageable disease.  She said, “I have a thirty-six-year-old patient with breast cancer right now, and she’d kill to have diabetes.” And that’s the thing.  It’s manageable.  The AMD, I can’t do a damn thing about except take my mega-AREDS vitamins and wear sunglasses, and I’m still going to lose my sight.  But diabetes?  I can kick that.  The weight loss has been ridiculously easy because the diabetes meds are appetite killers and because I can’t eat sugar.  Turns out, if you eliminate sugar from the diet of a person who sedates herself with the stuff, there aren’t a lot of calories left.  I’m actually having a hard time eating the 1400 calories a day I’m supposed to because I naturally gravitate to sweets.  I’ve never eaten so much salad and so many apples in my life, and frankly, if I never saw another leaf in a bowl again, I’d be okay with that.  But I’m not suffering.   And I do think it’ll be easy to maintain since I don’t really have a choice.  I’m diabetic.  I can’t have that stuff.  Moving on . . .

Not dead yet.

Krissie: What doesn’t kill us

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, which makes most women the powerhouses they are. It’s been such a disastrous week, but I was able to hold on to what was important, what I could do something about, and Jenny’s like the maidens of St. Trinians:
“Maidens of St Trinian’s, gird your armour on.
Grab the nearest weapon; never mind which one.
The battle’s to the strongest; might is always right.
Trample on the weakest; glory in their plight”

Even if we didn’t actually go to that cross between an English girls’ school and a reformatory, we have the fighting spirit. And most of us, though more honorable than some of our male counterparts, are willing to fight dirty in defense of our lives and those we love. Continue reading