I know I’m the last person to find this, but Text From Dog is the first thing that’s made me laugh out loud all week. If Wolfie ever finds
poodleboobs.com, I’ll never get the computer back: Continue reading
The Irish Rose pattern is old, old, old, as old as Irish lace. Of course the lace roses were done with thread and a tiny hook, and I use yarn and a much bigger hook, but the pattern is the same. Bonus: no working into stitches, it’s all worked into loops. If you can chain, sc, hdc, and dc, you can make an Irish Rose. (Note to people who are considering learning crochet: those are all plain, beginner stitches.) Continue reading
I got into the pin-cushion-on-a-pedestal thing by accident. If you sew, you need a pin cushion, and I loved my classic fat tomato, but I kept losing it in clutter on the sewing table. So one day, in a fit of frustration, I grabbed an old white wood candlestick I never used, squirted some Goop on top of it, and socked my tomato down. To this day, it’s still my fave. I like the incongruity of the simple, everyday tomato on top of the white, classical column. Mostly I like that I never lose my pin cushion any more. It’s always high above the fray.
But once you start gluing together pincushions, it’s hard to stop. Continue reading
So when I first got Popeye (the chair I’m reupholstering slooooowly that only has one button on the back so Krissie called it Popeye) many years ago, he needed a footstool and I found a butt-ugly one at Goodwill for not much. (Twenty bucks maybe? Not more. I’m cheap.) It was this hideous gray-green ribbed fabric, so I covered it with three different kinds of red upholstery and shoved it up next to Popeye who was also wearing red at the time. Then the dogs destroyed the top, and rather than reupholster it, I spray-painted it blue with plastic paint. (You can get spray fabric dye, too.) But now Popeye is getting a makeover, so Swee’Pea must change, too. Besides, it was looking really bad: Continue reading
I have two different areas in the cottage I’m trying to get old furniture ready for (aka painting and upholstering). The main floor where people will visit is in cottage colors, rich pastels, blues and yellows with pink accents. This is so not my kind of color, but it’s going to be relaxing and cosy and most important, it’s going to fit the house. The ground floor where I’ll be working and doing most of my living (aka dogs, writing, and dropping things on the floor) is just a walk-out basement right now. The house is on a hill, so the back of the basement is underground, but two thirds of it is above ground with windows and the back is a walk-out with windows all around. So down there, where nobody but the dogs and I will ever go, I can make whatever color I want. And I want color. On the other hand, it’s easy to lose my grip and just splash the stuff everywhere, so I rely on a tried and true cheat: I find a fabric, a pillow, a quilt I love and I pull all the colors from that as my anchor fabric. For example . . . Continue reading
Lani and I were in the living room the other day:
ME: I’m getting discouraged. I can’t eat anything, I can’t smell anything, and pretty soon I’m not going to be able to see anything. This sucks.
LANI: You don’t know that. You can do anything. I bet you don’t lose your sight at all. And you can eat lots of stuff, you’re making all those new recipes–
ME: Oh, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Are you ever not chipper? Is there ever a time you’re not upbeat and happy? DOES THE CHIPPERNESS NEVER END?
ALASTAIR (on the other side of the living room giving sub-q to our terminal dog): Snerk.
LANI: Okay, FINE. YOU’RE GONNA GO BLIND AND NEVER EAT CHOCOLATE CHIPS AGAIN!
ME: THE HELL I AM. I’M JENNIFER GODDAMN CRUSIE AND I CAN DO ANYTHING!
LANI: Oh. That does work better.
ME: Yeah. I”m not sure what that says about me, though.
ALASTAIR (still on the other side of the living room giving sub-q to our terminal dog): Snerk.
Thank God I have sisters. And Alastair.
Because I’m tired of talking about kale, I’m making plans for painting the cottage. There’s an insane set of stairs up to the loft/attic, really steep, really narrow, really dark, and no room to replace them with something better.