I have no idea why I look so surprised. Maybe because I feel so funky. No shower except sponge bath for a looooong time, and the pool is holding some sort of intramural meet in the afternoons so I have the choice of writing or swimming.
Writing trumps it.
I forget what I ate yesterday. I thought I kept track but apparently I didn’t, and I forgot to eat dinner. Screwed up my back and took a pain pill and nibbled. Well, nevermind. 222.9 this morning. But it’s warm and glorious today and I go see my therapist and I’ll work things out.
I traditionally get depressed in the spring. Always have — that’s why they first put me on Prozac. Since my nephew died in the spring (March 13) that’s thrown the usual cycle out of whack. And I’m NOT depressed — I just got over a clinical depression. But I’ve got a case of SADD going on. Funny that it hits me when weather is getting better.
So, outside in the sunshine it is. And the weather will keep getting better, so that will help. And I really really want to figure out how to get down to NJ again. And the stranger who inhabited my son is still around — it’s about two months now. Weird as hell. He ain’t perfect, but man, he’s so sweet and thoughtful.
So, okay. Netdiary. Watch my back (literally). Enjoy the sunshine. See my shrink. Play the radio really really loud (maybe make a happy list).
Aha. We’ve talked about this before but I see no playlist on my ipod to reflect it. I need happy songs for a Cheer the Fuck Up Play List. I made one thirty years ago when I was dealing with infertility (I tended to cry my way to the doctor and back listening to dirge-y music).
First song — “Wouldn’t it Be Nice.”
Yeah, I know, we’ve done this dance before. But it’s easier to ask again than go searching, and besides, a whole ‘nother year of music has passed.
So, guys, give me happy songs for a Cheer the Fuck Up playlist.