Jenny: Not Dead Yet

It’s 4AM on Friday, so I have officially missed all three days I was supposed to post.  I’ll get caught up this weekend, but for right now, I’m missing Krissie (it’s like the light leaves the room when she’s gone), and I’ve got the vampire doctor tomorrow (he always drains my blood), but today I saw my nurse practitioner for the first time since she said, “You have diabetes.  Things have to change.”  Today, she looked at my stats and sat back and said, “I”m thrilled with you.”  By their scales (not mine), I’ve lost twelve pounds.  I’ve also improved my glucose levels to pre-diabetic levels (still not healthy but so much better) and dropped my blood pressure into the high-normal range.  I told her, “I changed my eating; next is exercise,” and she said that was fine.  I think she was so happy that I’d actually made changes that she trusted me that I’d move on to exercise.  And I will.  I just couldn’t Change All The Things at once.  She talked about how hard it was to see people with diabetes ignore the changes they had to make, and how frustrating it was because diabetes is an entirely manageable disease.  She said, “I have a thirty-six-year-old patient with breast cancer right now, and she’d kill to have diabetes.” And that’s the thing.  It’s manageable.  The AMD, I can’t do a damn thing about except take my mega-AREDS vitamins and wear sunglasses, and I’m still going to lose my sight.  But diabetes?  I can kick that.  The weight loss has been ridiculously easy because the diabetes meds are appetite killers and because I can’t eat sugar.  Turns out, if you eliminate sugar from the diet of a person who sedates herself with the stuff, there aren’t a lot of calories left.  I’m actually having a hard time eating the 1400 calories a day I’m supposed to because I naturally gravitate to sweets.  I’ve never eaten so much salad and so many apples in my life, and frankly, if I never saw another leaf in a bowl again, I’d be okay with that.  But I’m not suffering.   And I do think it’ll be easy to maintain since I don’t really have a choice.  I’m diabetic.  I can’t have that stuff.  Moving on . . .

Not dead yet.

Jenny: Guilt-Edged Bonds

I feel guilty.

I feel guilty because Lani’s driving me to all my doctor’s appointments even though she’s swamped right now.

I feel guilty that I didn’t put an interview up on Argh today.  Lani’s swamped because she’s launching her first Lucy March book, A Little Night Magic (which is out today so you should go buy it right now.  Thank you) and I was supposed to do an interview with her and I didn’t get to it. Continue reading

Jenny: Hot Tub Timed Meditation

So I’m a little stressed.  I was stressed before I hit the deer, discovered I’m probably going to be looking at people sideways in a couple of years, and found out there was no cake in my future.   Now I’m interacting several times a day with an app that yells at me (figuratively speaking) if I don’t eat breakfast.   I’m making progress, my numbers are coming down, but they’re not coming down fast enough, especially that bottom line blood pressure number.   I should be seeing better results.  I’m Jenny Crusie, damn it, I do everything well.  Okay, not relationships or housecleaning or cooking (the smoke alarm went off last night while I was making salad), but a lot of things.  THIS thing.  THIS THING I SHOULD BE DOING WELL.

Okay, I’m a little more than a little stressed.   Continue reading

Jenny: You Should Have These Things

You know how when some people start to get healthy, they become evangelists and start pushing things-that-will-make-YOU-healthy on you?  I hate those people.  And yet, I have become one.  There are two things you should get because they’re good for you and because they’re really, really cool.   Continue reading