Hmmmm. Not much engagement going on here. Oh, the book above is free for the day, and it’s one of my favorites.
Okay, back to my carping. We need Crusie to check in with something shocking and thought-provoking. Or maybe I should check the draft folder and see what topics I started and then chickened out of posting. There weren’t many of them (I’m about as open as I can be) but there may be some.
I know. I’m going to talk about the Brene Brown course I’m starting with Crusie. I had to read the first four chapters (actually a little more, given all the introductory stuff) and when this course was first brought up I thought, heh, I don’t need it. I’m the furthest thing from a perfectionist that you can get. I don’t have issues with shame — I put everything out there. I have no secrets (well, one thing I don’t blast about much) so why do I need to work on letting my authentic self out there? That’s what I try to do here. Yes, I’m fabulous, but I also try not to do the Krissie-dance (though when I was really down Crusie and Lani slapped me upside the head and told me to stop whining).
Mind you, I’m all about joyful dancing. But the Krissie-dance is interpretive, not original. In fact it’s better called the Krissie-show. That persona that’s part the real me, part of a public veneer. But you know, I work hard to make that Krissie-show honest too.
So why do I need some fucking course where, God help me, I have to draw? Now I am not a modest person, in case you haven’t noticed. I used to be able to sing (30 years of not singing makes my instrument rusty). I can write fabulous books, I can sew most everything. I understand music, I’m affectionate, a fabulous grandmother, but I cannot draw. Cannot do anything with a pen or pencil but write wonderful books (and some not as wonderful — full disclosure here. None of them bad, but some are better than others).
But I digress. Why put myself through this? Some of the preliminary literature talks about not worrying about being cool. I don’t worry about it — I just happen to be cool. Fact of life. Oh, not cool to everyone. I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam, as Popeye used to say.
So why do this?
But this course, the second half of the full course, is about creativity and I was immediately hooked, particularly since Crusie got so much out of the first one. Now Crusie’s different than me. She’s a perfectionist, she never thinks she’s good enough. She’s got a lot more defenses than I have, and I’m sure she’d deny being cool (she is). But Lani’s doing it too, so I said I’m in, and I did my reading last night and got my art journal (shudder).
It’s going to be interesting. Particularly since I’m in such denial about the whole thing. Saying I have no shame. Saying I’m not a perfectionist. I’m all sorts of things I think I’m not, and I expect this will be eye-opening.
Anything I learn I’ll pass on. And speaking of shameless, I’ll show you my art pages and Crusie will show you hers (and we might get Lani to share hers).
So here I go again, zipping open my heart (I’ve opened it up so many times it has a diamond-studded, hand-picked zipper). Who knows what slithery things and glorious fireworks will emerge?