. Is my wattle getting bigger? I’m still on my nice, graceful slip down the scale – I haven’t had to worry about food for almost two years now. Things don’t usually tempt me. Mind you, I’m being reasonable. But for some reason I’m not tempted to binge on anything, I’m full without seconds and sometimes without finishing what’s on my plate. In other words, I eat like a normal person, which of course makes me worry that I have a dread disease. But I don’t – my interest in food has simply changed. Now why it couldn’t have happened when I was in my twenties or thirties is another question, but I have a suspicion it has something to do with … gasp … aging. Funny how we don’t like to talk about getting older, getting old. I started out thinking I should come up with a funny euphemism for getting older, but changed my mind. Avoiding the term is admitting it has power over you, and I’m so enjoying turning myself into an eccentric old lady. Then again, I always was an eccentric old lady, just in a younger body. Now I can let my freak flag fly and people will just chuckle and nod and say “old Krissie is at it again.” Hell, maybe they’ll just say “Krissie is at it again.” Coz I am.

As I approach 70 I’m thinking that it might be good to decide who I’m going to be when I grow up. I’d love to be some slim, gorgeous woman who’s active, has long, thick gray hair and beautiful crinkly eyes, one who travels and does yoga etc. etc. I think you need a strong interest in self-care for that, and I’m afraid that’s always been my failing. I know so many women like that – Judith and Cilla and so many others. But that’s not me.

And there’s Granny. The women who retire into grandmother-hood – their life is their family and it’s full of joy and frustration and love. My BFF Sally has done that, but she gives up anything of interest to her, like writing or sewing or travel. In that case the interest in the children trumps the interest in her own life, and that’s good. I love my grandchildren to pieces, but the idea of doing daycare for them is not me. (Love to babysit, just not every day). I still have too much life I have to live.

And then there’s the wispy character from a novel, with bizarre clothes and scarves and strange statements out of nowhere and a naive delight in the world with a strain of deep cynicism beneath it all. She’s usually called something like Great Aunt Minnie in movies and books. That’s my jam. Richie says we live in a Booth cartoon (if you don’t know the cartoons of William Booth go on a search – he’s wonderful!). I say outlandish things (I always have) and float through life with great kindness unless someone is hurting someone, and then the Goddess of Doom emerges.

Yeah, I like that one. It’s like a nice pair of ancient jeans – it fits so welland it doesn’t constrict.

So who do you want to be when you grow up?

6 thoughts on “Monday

  1. Jessie says:

    I don’t think your lack of interest in eating as much has to do with aging. You made a huge changes in your diet: you gave up artificial sweeteners and you stopped living on those fish-shaped crackers. When my brother-in-law stopped drinking diet soda, he suddenly stopped gaining weight and eating as much and reverted to his normal adult weight. And he still allows himself the occasional soda, just not all the time and no artificial sweeteners at all.

    I am 70 this year and I know what I want to be again but I have let remodeling this dumb house take over my life. My goal for this year is to get a life.

  2. I like who I am. I have a LOT of faults, but I have a lot of pluses, too. I am pretty much who I wanted to be when I grew up. Now if I could just get my book done and my house cleared out . . .

  3. Like you, I’ll also celebrate the big 7 uh oh this year. For some reason it isn’t bothering me like I thought it would. I’m kind of happy with life right now. Got a consult with a hotshot orthopedic surgeon for next month. 2018 might be the year I get a knee replacement. We shall see.

  4. Susanne says:

    I actually like who I am. Always have. (Okay, okay, I need to work on getting paperwork dealt with …)

  5. MJ says:

    Like you, Krissie, I enjoy being the kooky lady brightening the world with her creativity.

    The one thing I still want to be is a children’s book author. I self-pubbed Book 1 of a series and have been fighting myself to put Book 2 out there. Last fall I got it to my first beta reader AT LAST. Now back to it!

    Comfortable jeans would be nice, too.

  6. I just remembered reading a post by you when you were turning 60 and going to Disneyworld and then I thought, that means I’m ten years older too, lol! I think you called yourself “fat” in that post and I hope it’s not presumptuous to say that not only are you seeing a graceful slide down the scale but you sound full of grace in your whole life and more resolute than ever. There was a time when I felt so crushed by grief that it dwarfed every other emotion and I want to become someone who always holds on to humor because it helps so much. Please post when you’re turning 80 partly because it helps your readers to also stop and think, what have I done during Krissie’s last decade?! Keep calm and write on, Krissie!!! And could you post your adorable rescue cats’ photos again soon?

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