Lani: WTFW Capability

We spend so much time worrying about our makeup or our bodies or are youth, all in an attempt to be or remain sexy. Yet, in my experience, there’s nothing sexier than capability.

How have your capabilities served you this week in dealing with the fucked and the fab?

37 thoughts on “Lani: WTFW Capability

  1. Not well. Our furnace is in its death throws, the fan slamming against the housing so hard right now it feels like someone is using a sledghammer under my feet. We had to “steal” our sewage money (the township will be on our ass in a month or two ’cause we still haven’t put it in) to pay for a new furnace because this one is so old there are no parts for it and its rusting itself to death as well (turns out the sucker is 29 years old). I’m sick to death of money issues and I don’t do well when I’m sleep deprived. *sigh*

  2. Oh, Robin! So sorry, baby! Our furnace is 30 years old and I’m afraid that we’re looking at the same dilemma very soon–right now, it’s running on a prayer and Husband’s great mechanical ability. I figure about the time I get all my renovation/update money together for the downstairs, it’ll crap out… hope things get fixed and the township is patient. {{Hugs}}

  3. When Krissie asked us for fave movies on Oscars thread, I responded with Ever After: A Cinderella Story because she rescues herself. This is apt.

    My wordiness solved the entire quick crossword in the major newspaper. Used said wordiness to give children (7 year-olds) synonyms for sad, happy and scared. Hard not to put words like morose but 60% of my class are second-language english learners. Such words wouldn’t be enrichment but obscure.

    I used my points from a benefits card to make a booking at a pretty swish hotel for the trip in May. 30% off, baby!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    So far, so good.

  4. My ability to approach delicate topics with diplomacy has served me this week–I spoke to Husband about the reno work I want to do on the downstairs of our house and he was very open to doing it. Clearly, we aren’t moving anytime in the near future (which is what I really, really want to do), so something has to be done here at the old homestead. We haven’t changed a thing since we moved in–get ready for it–30 years ago. Granted the house was brand new then, but I’ve got the 1980s going big time in here with wallpaper and too much carpet…time for a change. We’re going to Lowe’s tonight to look at flooring, paint, light fixtures, a new stove…then we’re going to get some estimates on the work. Hold a good thought, my ReFabbers. The “C”* word is tough one for my engineer.


  5. I made the mistake of planning my to-do list and feeling good about getting everything done, and then kiddo got strep and I got edits that are way more extensive than I expected. To-do list blown to smithereens along with any “feeling good” feelings.

    Now the cat spilled water onto kiddo’s new laptop and she’s freaking out on top of being ill. I’m managing to remain calm…on the outside.

  6. I’m working on regaining my feelings of capability, so any little accomplishment helps feed that. To that end, I have accomplished little things: some restructuring and setting up new sections in this manual I’m writing; writing some little bits for the manual; Doing anything on my to-do list. As my sense of my own capability rises, I expect my accomplishments will as well.

    Totday’s WTFab: a meeting with another moving estimator. Then I will be able to choose who to have do my move and actually make the reservations! Yay! (And then I’ll have to make sure I accomplish stuff a bit more quickly than I have been!)

  7. German Chocolate Betty says:

    Well, Nan, look at it this way: even if you do at some point really get to move, the money invested now in renovations will be a good investment. ‘Cause a house that is decorated like 30 years ago looks older and tireder than a 30-yr-old house that looks like “today”. So, it’s a win-win!


  8. I feel your pain. My son got sick over the weekend and when he doesn’t feel well, every setback turns into wailing and sobbing. Sometimes staying calm is the most difficult task in my day. Good luck!

  9. Well, first off, we have to remember that Mercury is retrograde and she’s stuffing things up. All kinds of communications have been going haywire here. And I’m tired. Just bone tired. So, my queenly capabilities of the week have been centered around getting out of bed. I have managed that quite well. Even though I did take a nap at 3pm yesterday. : )

  10. It’s worth a lot, GCB! Thanks! I’m stealing your “a house that is decorated like 30 years ago looks older and tireder than a 30-yr-old house that looks like โ€œtoday” for Husband. That’s engineer logic if I ever heard it!

  11. Jessie says:

    I am in the same situationa (1) lived in the house almost 30 years (2) married to an engineer. Only my engineer has not stopped messing with stuff since the day we have moved in. I have forgotten what it is like not to live with chaos. Although the one room we have not yet remodeled is the kitchen. I have had appliances replaced several times but no remodel.

    For what it is worth, I have had an Asko dishwasher, lasted 15 years, an Asko washer and dryer, lasted about 8 years and a Dacor gas/electric range, still have it but it’s oven is a piece of junk – very uneven cooking. I replaced my refrigerator, which was 35 years old, two years ago with a Liebherr counter-depth one that is extremely tall that I thought I would despise but my engineer wanted it because he said it was so well made. I love it. And when my dishwasher died this December, we replaced it with my engineer’s choice of a Miele and again this is a wonderful dishwasher. You can safely wash crystal in it. It holds a huge amount of dishes and it does a great job on pots and pans. However, just because an engineer picks them out is not fool proof. He’s the one who insisted on the Dacor. Oh, and I have a Whirlpool washer and gas dryer that I bought from Costco whose principal attraction was a great repair record since the Asko was a continual headache once it was about 5 years old.

  12. German Chocolate Betty says:

    “Engineer logic” is not surprising: I’m a computer scientist. We too think like Spock!

  13. No shit, Kate. This week I took the dog to the vet, saw my own doctor, took One for his yearly physical and will take Three for his on Thursday. I also had Four’s special ed IEP meeting at his school and met with Three’s guidance counselor to talk about next year. This is outside of all the normal mom stuff I do every day.

    So I would say that I handled all this capably because I did not drink, especially Monday, which sucked.

    BLOG HIJACK ALERT: I’ve decided I want to use my blog to occasionally highlight women who are self-employed. It’s a grand idea on a small scale but WTF, right? If any of you fab women fit the bill and would like some free exposure for your awesomeness drop me an email at thelonewoman at g mail dot com. There’s nothing in it for me other than a good feeling so feel free to refer a friend! END BLOG HIJACK.

  14. Thanks for the good vibes! Our first estimate was $3500 and I about had heart failure. We went with an 80% instead of a 90% efficiency and dickered a bit and got the people we wanted to do the installation and a Rheem furnace for $2300. Still too much money but it beats the original $3500. Then we just had to pray over the furnace to hold till today, which thankfully it did. Barely, but we had heat.

    This a.m. was installation day and bless their hearts, they sent an extra person to help with the installation. There’s nasty weather coming in tonight and as I sit here typing this – I HAVE HEAT! Not tonight, not tomorrow – now. ๐Ÿ™‚ Of course, when the furnace first started it filled the house with oil smoke and we had to throw open all the windows for half an hour (it’s 40 degrees out, brrr) and disconnect the fire alarm; but, hey, we have heat half-a-day sooner than first projected. Now all I have to do is get over the sticker shock and figure out where to get the money back for sewage. Woo hoo!

  15. Drug stores sell blood pressure monitors, and the cuff that’s obviously necessary to take the reading generally fails after a year or so. Mine failed early, right when my doc specifically asked me to take a few days’ readings for her, so she could adjust my treatment plan, so I went to the drug store to get a replacement cuff, since it’s kind of like getting a refill for a soap dispenser or new bandages to put in the first aid kit, right? It’s DESIGNED to be used up and replaced, right? It even plugs in, rather than being wired into the machine. Easy peasy, right?

    Wrong. They don’t carry the cuffs, and the staff looks at me like I’m a crazy person for even suggesting that they would carry such an item. No offer to order it from their warehouse and have it to me in a couple days. Just “Hunh. I never heard of such a thing.”

    And the brick and mortar stores wonder why they’re losing business to online sellers.


    Oh, but if it will make Robin feel better, I’ve replaced two furnaces in the last ten or so years, and one was around $4K, and the other (a steam system, which is more complicated) was $6K. And the latter keeps needing about a $K of maintenance every year, which is really pissing me off. But that’s a WTF for another day.

  16. Redwood Kim says:

    My WTF is the enormous pair of crankypants I seem to be wearing today. I seemed to have used up all of my patience, and it’s only 2:00. Oh, and I’m on the first day of a four day solo-parent gig (Hubs is in Chicago.) This does not bode well.
    The kitten has discovered his hunting skills, and my 3yo has discovered two dead mice in the house in the last three days. Cats, man. On the one hand, get thee gone, rodents. On the other, in the house, in my baby’s hands? The one who still sucks on her fingers all the time? NEW RULE: NO TOUCHING DEAD MICE.
    My WTFabs (otherwise known as feeding the good wolf early): I set some boundaries with my mother regarding my weight, as in “if I have news to share, I will share it; otherwise, don’t ask.” Long overdue. I have activities planned for all four days of said solo gig. And really, my family is terrific – I have two beautiful, brilliant girls who know how to rock Batman shirts, and a damn smart husband who understands me and is always on my side. I didn’t have that, particularly in my early adulthood, and it makes all the difference in my world.

  17. Bharti says:

    I have always been considered the capable one in the family. Not the pretty sister or the athletic sister – the capable sister. I was the low maintenance, โ€œgetting things doneโ€ sister. It is nice to think that that I could be both – the capable and the sexy one.

  18. pamb says:

    Robin, congrats on the heat! (I’m in midwest Ohio w/similar temps, so much empathy.)

    You did a terrific job with the price.

    Winging “sewer money” beams!

  19. pamb says:

    May you find just what you want on your Lowe’s trip, Nan.

    We moved into this farmhouse 30 years ago.

    Unfortunately, it was about 80 years old then.

    Like GCBetty said, it’ll be worth a LOT more with good updates!

  20. Catherine says:

    I’ve done a bit of boundary patrol with Dad this week. Which is pretty necessary if I want to continue to see myself as both capable and queenly.

    I think I’ve paced myself pretty well this week for getting things done. I’ve made my to do lists and when an item blows out beyond the time I’d projected for it… I remind myself that there is often slippage in any project. Sometimes it’s necessary to ask the right people for help and then get out of the way. If necessary I roll items over to the next day and maintain my heart health with a glass of Shiraz in the evening.

    There has been plenty of encouraging self talk with ‘you’re doing the best you can do, it doesn’t need to be perfect… Lets just get it done. ‘

    I think being both adaptable and tenacious has served to bring more fab than fucked into being in my world this week.

  21. Bwahaha! I love that graphic. Capability is SO much sexier than helplessness, hells yeah. This week my capability as a writer got me to step back from my book and decide what needed to happen was to completely change a main character around, which gives me the distance I need from the subject matter to do it right. Huzzah!

  22. Librarian Betty says:

    My son has an International Club dinner at school tomorrow night. He needs to bring something. Since his father (my exhusband) would probably only provide something like jarred salsa and chips, I made a tres leches cake for him to bring instead. Ummm, it’s not looking all that great, it’s almost 9:30PM, and I have to work tomorrow so no matter how ugly this cake is looking, that’s what he’s getting. I’m panicking a little and having an anxiety attack about what people might say about my potentially “bad” cake… WTF indeed! Talk about projecting! Reminder to self: teenage boys eat just about anything and, if I put whipped cream on top as frosting, I’m 99.9% sure they will eat this cake.

    Mutters to self: I am a queen, I got this shit handled.

  23. Cindy says:

    We had the best ever, most amazing appointment with THE POTS specialist today. He knew everything. He asked all the right questions. And he gave us tons of info. He had already sent me an email by the time I got home with a study about another disorder that goes hand-in-hand with POTS. He suggested some new things to try, and just made me feel like we are on the right track.

  24. To everyone talking of furnace and similar replacements: look into new environmentally friendly solutions – underfloor heating and the like. It would raise your home’s re-sale appeal.

  25. Lois says:

    I’m starting with the fab – had that beautiful full moon shine right in my face yesterday morning, pink in the other direction an hour later as the sun came up, sunshine for part of the day and a gorgeous sunset. Damn I am lucky to live here.

    The WTF – I am so tired of being tired! I don’t feel capable of anything. Except love, I’m good at love and loyalty.
    Took the dog to the vet yesterday. Has anyone else had to gather a urine sample from a small dog? Plus she had her teeth cleaned (and some removed). So the bill for both ends = almost $400. Can I just say property taxes also due this week?

  26. Yup. Yogurt, cottage cheese, and cool whip containers are very handy urine collectors. You’ll have to cut them down to slip them under a female dogs bum when she squats. It’ll take a few attempts if you haven’t practiced it with your dog. (Bring treat.) They get squicked out; first because you’re putting your hand where they don’t think it should be and again when they hear the pee splat in the container. Nothing but good times! ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. Kelly S. says:

    Fab was having Monday off.

    Wtf has been returning to work to personnel issues of, until Tuesday, unspoken expectations that has had 4 of us spinning for 2 days. Fab is I *think* it may be mostly resolved with a few more conversations for creating a better process in the future. I really don’t like being responsible for people.

  28. pamb says:

    For goodness sakes–if they cleaned her teeth, they could have gathered a urine sample while she was knocked out for the teeth cleaning. (I worked for a vet for years.)

    Otherwise, duck tape a pie tin to a yardstick & slide it under her after she squats. Can be easier if 2 people go outside, one feeds a treat at the head end, other one slides stick & pan contraption at the other. Then the aluminum pie tin will bend enough to pour sample into jar more easily. ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Lois says:

    Thanks for the suggestions. I used a small styrofoam tray and it worked for a few times, then she really tried avoiding me. I collected, then her appt. changed due to a blizzard. So I re-collected. Now I have to do it again in 2 weeks. The vet office says use a ladle. Oh sure

  30. 3 retention conference…3 guardians who hopped on board and agreed with me instead of fighting. one IEP meeting resulting in a beneficial plan for a kid whose parents originally opposed it. Take THAT. (cracks imaginary whip) I got persuasive skillz

  31. Ashley says:

    I love that, “Got this shit handled.” I say something like that every day. “This might seenm like a lot, but dammit, I’m awesome and I can do anything.”

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