Lani: Unicorns


From – you can totes buy this! We’re not getting a cut if you do, because we don’t do that at ReFab, but I love that you can actually own this pillow.


I think “Be yourself,” is great advice, although sometimes it can be weird because if you know who you are, being yourself is natural, and if you don’t, you don’t know what’s you and what’s not you, so it’s a deceptively complicated motto.

Regardless, I think there are days when we could all use a little time being a unicorn. (And I mean this in the magical, innocent, glittery sense, not in the Dan Savage sense. Although if that’s your thing, then go forth into the world and make people happy.)

(If you don’t know what the Dan Savage sense of “unicorn” is, and you’re about to head to Google, just beware. It’s not that bad, but there are some things you should never search on Google. Like the Dirty Sanchez. JUST DON’T DO IT. Jon Stewart said it on the Daily Show once and now I can never go back to a time when I didn’t know what that meant.)

I’m sorry. Where was I? Oh, yes. Glittery unicorns. Beautiful, elegant, sleek, and yet they’ll skewer you in a heartbeat if you mess with them. For fucked or fab, how were you a unicorn this week?

29 thoughts on “Lani: Unicorns

  1. Maine Betty says:

    Well, the week is only to Wednesday, so maybe I’ll achieve unicornosity by Friday. Frankly, in job searching, I may need more to channel my inner predator, such as a tiger. She hunts, she swims, she naps, and she’s always well-dressed.

  2. Rose says:

    I’m with you on the dirty sanchez. Dan Savage once tweeted something about a “cleveland steamer,” and of course I had to look it up. I was much happier not knowing.

  3. Kate (the G kate) says:

    Well I went to a meeting only to find out that maybe I should be holding the DH’s hand through this because now we have to go to a hearing and I’m not sure I’m lucky enough that he won’t turn up at that one as well.

    and I’m feeling duplicitous, which is a weird feeling for me – I usually spew everything everywhere.

    I’d rather be me than a unicorn. Unicorns can’t get no peace.

  4. I stood up for myself twice this week. TWICE! Anyone who knows me knows I shy away from doing that.
    So, I think that qualifies me for unicorn status! While I didn’t skewer anyone, it definitely was a fine moment of being an adult and being honest about my feelings. Not being all hurt, or defensive, not losing my temper, or swearing, just stating the case and standing my ground. No swearing! Can you believe that?

  5. Go, Robena! And Kate, you crack me up.

    Have you gals seen the picture going around in which someone photoshopped Voldermort’s face over that dude dressed as a unicorn and it says “You are what you eat.” Ha! Love that.

    Not sure I’ve been a unicorn but I’m getting crap done. Or trying to. My book release is next week so I’m gathering guest blog stuff so it’s all done and all I have to worry about next week is checking in on all these places. Restarting the book again last night and this time I think it’s going to stick. (Pray for me.)

    Also have copyedits for book 2 to approve. That threw a kink in my to-do list, but must be ready to adapt and overcome, right? I got this. (Just ignore the whimpering.)

  6. Danielle says:

    Well, this week – nay this MONTH – has been utterly fucked, professionally and personally (do I have a virtual KICK ME sign on my back?), but I’m determined not to let it drag me down.

    I am aiming for unicornosity.

  7. Cindy says:

    I remember watching a cartoon at one point where all of these terms were used in one scene. It might have been South Park, and my husband had to explain all of them.

  8. Cindy says:

    On Mother’s Day, my mother-in-law showed me the boa scarves she’s been knitting, and she gave me some yarn to take home. I amazed myself by finishing a scarf in 2 days. I know that these are much easier to knit than traditional scarves, but still, I, Cindy, quitter of all knitting projects, finished it in 2 days. 🙂 My 13-year-old already snatched it, and took it in her room. I will have to get more yarn.

  9. Office Wench Cherry says:

    There are some things that make you wish you really could bleach your brain. Really, really wish.

    This week has been pretty good. I’m not sure if I can over state the impact this whole “Asperger’s adjacent” thing has had on me. It’s like spending your whole life limping and being jealous of people who can walk straight, feeling like if you tried hard enough you could walk like everyone else only to have someone tell you that the reason you limp is because one leg is shorter than the other and if you get corrective shoes you’ll be able to move easier. The limp won’t go away, you’ll always have it but you’ll be able to keep up with others now. Or not, as you choose.

    I’d be feeling a bit more unicornesque if I could get some traction on today. Tall Boy had to be up early this morning so, of course, he had a really crappy sleep – and kept me awake too. At one point he even turned on his bedside lamp with all his flailing around. He rolled over and kept right on sleeping but it woke me up. Now I want to curl up under my desk and have a nap – at 10:22AM. Oh well, only one more day and then a four day weekend. Hopefully a rain filled one.

  10. Ugh, my unicorn status is low right now. I’ve been tired and sleepy for weeks and napping and sleeping a lot. So today I am going to see a doctor and see if she can help me figure this out. Consensus among friends is that it’s my medications, two of which I am taking the max of and maybe after over a year I don’t need to take quite so much. It will just take a long while to ease off. And I’m on three daily meds that all have “potential drowsiness” as side effects. But I’ve been on one for years. So I’m not getting exercise because I nap instead.

    I will work on my unicornosity. It seems a good goal. Because I’m still not exactly sure who I am anyway. 🙂 Might as well be a unicorn. But not the Dan Savage version. Just not my thing.

  11. Hard to find your unicornosity when you’re living among the chaos, but I’m holing up in my room, absorbing narrative and getting ideas for fixing novel 2…just as Lani told me I would. This mess should be done in few more days and according to “them that knows,” this has been an incredibly fast reno.

    Some things just can’t be unseen, which is why I’m taking Lani’s word and NOT Googling either Dan Savage or any of the other terms tossed about here today. I have no idea where my brain bleach has gotten to in all this mess… 😉

  12. Being an adult diagnosed Aspie/ADHD mom with two kids and a husband who are also blessed with a ridiculous amount of alphabet soup in their medical charts, I can only say AMEN SISTER.

    It somehow makes everything less stressful when you know that you’re not imagining it, everything really IS different in your brain, and oh, here’s a cheat sheet to help you understand what all that subtext going on around you really means.

  13. G and T says:

    My unicornosity has gone by the wayside, because OF COURSE I had to Google BOTH Dan Savage unicorn and Dirty Sanchez. Fortunately, both definitions gave me a good laugh. Apparently, this is not the stuff that induces trauma in me; simply this: Huh. Eeeeuw.

    This week: Editing photos for me and enjoyment, and words for money before I start my trek from Maine to Georgia on Friday.

    I did read just now in one of my weekly papers that a local family met Prince Charles in England while they were there, and this is how the 11 yo son described Maine: “It’s like the Florida of Canada.”

  14. Chris S. says:

    I like that I’ve reached that point in life that when someone tells me “You probably don’t want to know”… I usually decide, “Nope, don’t wanna know”, and am happier as a result. Or at least less squicked out, which sometimes looks like the same thing.

  15. G and T says:

    Oh, I considered not knowing for several hours, and then just thought — what the hell? It did seem kind of like a dare.

  16. Kieran says:

    In the past month, I’ve read two great books by men diagnosed with Aspergers in their 40’s: PARALLEL PLAY, by Tim Page, and LOOK ME IN THE EYE, by John Elder Robison.

    You two ought to write your own stories!

    When you feel overwhelmed and/or concerned about the diagnosis (which I hope won’t happen), just remember this: there’s a growing consensus in the neurological field that if you want to be great in science or art, a dose of Asperger’s is required.

    Why? Because of the tremendous focus and out-of-the-box thinking Aspergers folks display.

  17. Micki says:

    I’m surprised no altruistic ReFabbers have brought up the definitions (or safe-ish links). I’m at work, or I’d do it.

    . . . I might do it anyway. Just a peek.

    Nah, not today.

    Dan Savage has a way with metaphor, though, doesn’t he? I have read one of his books, and he’s pretty clear and level-headed, IMO.

  18. Lois says:

    I did not google (but I still might)
    I don’t know that I am at all a unicorn but am pretty happy with who I am right now. I’m a very different person than I was a couple of years ago. There are things I like about this new me.

    Fab: hyperbole! Thanks to those who mentioned this. The depression pieces were so spot on. I always wanted a coma figuring someday I might want to return. And I guess I am returning.
    Moving with dogs had me really laughing.

    F***ed: picking up my mil at the hospital where they said she was confused – she is totally out of her mind !!! More care giving…. ‘sigh’ I am so afraid that by the time all this ends I will need someone to take care of me

  19. I’m not feeling all sparkly rainbow glittery unicornish this week. I want to be the unicorn who lowers its head, paws the ground and uses its horn like a fencing sword. En garde to all of the a&&holes bugging the crap out of me this week. I’m putting them on notice. These people need to pick which applies and: Get their heads out of their behinds; Write themselves a valid reality check and get their sh&t together; Quit the victim role and demonstrate accountability; or D) All of the above.

    Keep messing with this unicorn and expect to need stitches in your glutes.

    Okay. Having vented, I am now going to draw a hot bath, throw in some lavender salts, and relax away my cranky mood before going to bed.

  20. Kelly S. says:

    I too have wizened to a point when people say “You don’t want to know because I’d rather bleach my brain than know this” I listen and don’t search out definitions. This has been true ever since learning about “A Golden Shower”

    Work & the people who need to do D as described by Mary Stella are what’s F*k’d this week.

    What’s Fab is that the lilacs are blooming and smell WONDERFUL! Also, retail therapy as today was international Fluevog day and I bought myself a pair of shoes with money earned from a side job. Wanna see? They were 15% off plus because I bought them from the Portland store, no tax, & no shipping because I’m flying there on Friday and can pick them up plus verify they fit right. So much win!

  21. Amie says:

    Unless I read the wrong definition, it didn’t seem so bad. And, recently people have said random gross ones around my mom (such as why we can’t call the new guy DP, even though it’s his initials), which I then have to explain. That’s traumatizing!! And, I would love to find a unicorn of my own, except I wouldn’t want any of the physical stuff. Just another person to come take care of the house and take care of the crap I don’t want to deal with. I guess that’s why it’s mythical…

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