Lani: Speaking Out



I think that pretty much speaks for itself.

So, this week, for fucked or for fab, how did you speak out?

29 thoughts on “Lani: Speaking Out

  1. As messed up as my house is right now, most people would say it’s a fucked week, but I’m so very excited about this reno and the fact that someone else is doing the work, I’m all on the side of Fab! Trying to balance chaos downstairs with revisions, edits on my novels, I’ve discovered something important–I can write under almost any conditions. Did some significant work on novel 2–now officially titled SEX AND THE WIDOW MILES (are you intrigued?) amidst the cacophony of kitchen demo yesterday afternoon. And got a treat last night–Douglas Kennedy’s new novel. FIVE DAYS, showed up on my Kindle. Lake read!! Have a great one, ReFabbers!

  2. Maine Betty says:

    I left a ‘business’ meeting where the other two were about to move into shredding colleagues. Half of us are layed off, some will be picked up by the other contract, some will not: it’s tense. Jealously and resentment are around, but why wallow?

    I am really f*cked, but also fab, because, why not? I actually am ready for a new challenge, just like the motivational posters say. My true challenge is not to undersell my value, as I usually do, and get myself in as good position, i.e., support myself and be true to myself, as possible. Sound familiar?

  3. Deb says:

    Can it be fab with a feeling of impending fucked? This week work is going smoothly and the weather is glorious….but then there’s the conference next week that I don’t think we’re quite as prepared for as we should be. Should be interesting.

  4. I think I could be fucked but too deep in denial to see it, so I’m letting my inner Pollyanna keep the wheel and la la la my way through the next three weeks. (That’s when my first book comes out and I’m not handling the stress well AT ALL.)

    The weather is crappy here with more crappy to come, so that’s not helping. If only my brain would come back from whatever far off land it’s visiting…

  5. I’m good about giving, getting better at receiving, but NEVER ask for anything. I’d pay through the nose rather than ask.

    So yesterday I was filling out the requirements for a book hosting site (one for each book to run this summer)got to the second one and could not find the galley PDF. I’d cleaned up and must have trashed the final and kept the 2nd to last that still had line numbers. Sigh.

    Money is tight with all of these marketing costs, and I was looking at sending five copies of my own stock or paying for five kindle gifts. I bit the bullet and sent an email to marketing explaining and asking, YES ME, asking, if there was anything that could be done. Got an instant reply with two words, of course. She sent me that copy and several other digital formats.

    Words baby, I gots to use my words. Ha ha.

  6. I wish I new. I’ve just realized that although I work through the first week of June I’ve only got 16 work days to finish everything up. Then I’m officially unemployed again. I get paid through the summer so that helps.

    I’ve got a medium level of anxiety going on and I’m not really sure why. The flight response is making me twitching. Not a good thing. Have I spoken my truth this week?

    Haven’t a clue.

  7. Cindy says:

    My mother-in-law and father-in-law have been having some problems. Mainly he’s just an ass. They have been caring for my MIL’s 87-year-old aunt, and my FIL just hasn’t been supportive, but he acts like he has been. And my mother-in-law is falling apart. When they came over, I recommended that she see a therapist. I told her how helpful it was for me. Then I called her later in the week, when she was alone, and she vented about my FIL and I again told her to see a therapist. And I told her to not be a doormat.

    In the end she didn’t do any of the things I said, they took her aunt back to live on her own. And the asshole wins again. My husband and my brother-in-law are very frustrated, but I spoke up. So I feel good…even if in the end it bites me in the ass.

    NOW, my WTFab…I bought a badass blender. I’m making green smoothies, the kind with kale and spinach and apples. And they taste good. And my 13-year-old drinks them too. That’s how I’m going to get my veggies in. Yay! A step in the right direction. 🙂

  8. Unfortunately I’ve always spoken up. Maybe I’ll get old enough to keep my damned mouth shut sometimes. But I doubt it.
    At least people always know where they stand with me, though I try hard not to be unkind.

  9. I got some advice that said, “You’re self-pubbing. You have to have an online presence. Blog.” This was a while back and I fought it and fought it: I have a hard enough time believing my friends and loved ones want to hear what I have to say, but a blog? Reeeelly? You gotta be kidding me. So I went into it expected to be fucked, but instead…

    I did it, and I’ve been blogging pretty regularly, and this week I bit the bullet and instead of writing witty, throwaway stuff (which is entertaining, don’t get me wrong) I wrote about hard stuff. Then I used that as a stepping stone towards dealing with some harder stuff.

    So instead of fucked, I think the week’s been pretty fab. Oh, and the sun’s shining and my dog got a clean bill of health from the vet Monday. Definitely fab.

  10. Just this morning I spoke up via email and expressed the lone dissenting opinion in a group discussion. It remains to be seen how others will react/respond but I felt it needed to be said. I was civil and logical. We’ll see if it sparks further discussion.

  11. The waiting is so hard! I’ve had those discussions where I’ve stood up bravely and then had to sit listening to the crickets until someone else had the nerve to either support or debate. Hope it goes well for you!

  12. Maine Betty says:

    Tamsin Everly, you are a great writer.

    As I’m looking for new job, I’m going to re-read this. Thanks.

  13. In a way my living situation is Fab, because I’m with friends who care for me, in a comfortable home with a stunning view of Seattle and the lake.

    In another way it’s Fucked because the female friend (whose house it is) is sensitive to EVERYTHING and fussy and not very tolerant. So I have to be quiet, keep my electronic devices quiet, and follow along a lot of rules that I am still learning. It’s a bit anxiety-provoking.

    Also, I’ve been undergoing my post-huge-change anxiety and inertia and just sitting on the couch with the computer for the past couple of weeks. It’s really time to start the job hunt and networking so I can get a fabulous job and get my own place. I’ve done very little on my to-do list.

    There really isn’t anywhere or any time where I’ve spoken up for myself except for on my blog. I’m not going to speak up here at the house (except for when I don’t want to watch videos with them) because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, especially when she is being so kind and generous to me.

  14. Rebecca (Another One) says:

    I spoke up to my friend about caring for her animal (that I had talked about last week). She agrees that it is too much, but is unsure about how to solve the problem. Her 40 lb. dog bites people sometimes. I said she needed to do it by June, and she didn’t respond. (I got Tamsin’s crickets.) I am going to have to keep asking her what her plan is, otherwise she will put it off and have no other choice that me. Hah, not again.

  15. I tend to speak up too, Krissie. It has been a learning experience on how to speak up without being accusatory, blaming or, in some cases, outright rude. I’ve learned to share when I am asked, but otherwise to “shudda my mouth already”.

    You know this week is moving into fab as I begin a new eating regime and today my rebounder (mini-trampoline) should be delivered and I went to Physical Therapy when it appears that my arm issues are caused by lousy sitting posture. I can fix that. Yippee!

  16. I have been reminding / pestering my boss for weeks that unless some decisions get made on the direction of a major project I’m coordinating/managing, we’ll be majorly f****k’d for most of the summer. I have a great team and I don’t want them to be worked to death to make up for other people’s indecisiveness. I do speak up (often inserting my foot directly into my mouth), so I’m practicing discretion and tact.

    On the fab side, sunny and warm for the rest of the week. Breaking out the summer clothes and losing the panty hose.

  17. Therese says:

    I finally asked my husband to take care of me this past weekend – I’m fighting a cough that’s lingered for over 9 weeks and the loss of both parents in that same time. He jumped right up and did something, at least. He has a good heart, but he depends on me to be “good at everything” and I’m tired, so bloody frickin tired.

    I wrote to request the extended leave benefit for my dad’s funeral & it was approved. Thank you very much.

    I called the utility company today to come cut down those 6 trees that are too close to the power lines instead of just maiming them every couple of years. They said no, they’ll only trim to protect their lines. Fine. I called a tree service to get an estimate for removing them.

    Now I just need to find some team to come clean up & haul away a bunch of other junk in the yard. I think I need to do a mental/emotional clean-out too. Wish I could hire someone to do that for me instead…

  18. Mitchiewitch says:

    The rebounder is fun & the least painful way to exercise that I’ve ever found.

  19. So sorry you lost both your parents: that’s so hard! Of course you are “frickin tired”! Glad you could ask your husband to take care of you and he did! Take care!

  20. I had a long talk with a student who is having a hard time at home. I told her she’s a good kid no matter what they tell her and that she’s not in an easy place now but it’ll get better and she has to tell her baby sister the things I’m telling her because they’re true…she’s strong and brave and good. No matter what anyone says.

    So suck on that, meanass people who are unkind to kids.

  21. Micki says:

    Oh, that’s so tough. I had a kid who asked me today, “Do your kids hate you?” I was taken aback, and said, “No, why do you hate your parents?” The kid said yeah . . . all I could say was, “Sometimes that happens.” As a guest teacher, what else can I say? His homeroom teacher was there, so I hope she can help him.

  22. Lois says:

    So so sorry for all your loss. Expect to be tired – I found/find grief exhausting.

  23. Redwood Kim says:

    …or she will leave it to June and *be totally out of luck.* Good for you for talking to her.

    Sometimes vets will board dogs with aggression issues.

  24. Maine Betty says:

    My otherwise excellent dog has aggression issues. She is boarded at the vet when we travel. And she likes it, she likes to be around the other dogs and behaves pretty well.

  25. ruthie says:

    Oh, is this the invitation I have been waiting for! I wish I’d been more timely.

    There’s this guy. He’s kind of all over the place around me, like a big ol’ puppy, friendly but not romantic. So, a bunch of us were out having munchies, a mixed bag of guys and gals, and he turns to me and says, “So, just how much do you weigh?”

    I was stunned. What guy in his right mind ask a rude and way too personal question like that of any woman, much less with an audience??? I sat there gaping at him for a minute. Finally, inspiration struck.

    “Just how small is your dick?” I asked in the nicest, just curious tone I could manage. Heeee!

    Was I awful? I don’t think so, but, then, I’m still too tickled with myself to have an unbiased opinion. I mean, my first thought was to beat him to death with the nacho platter.

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