Lani: Kind



Everyone includes you, yourself. Be kind to her, too.

So this week, for fucked or for fab, who were you kind to? (I hope you made the list.)

32 thoughts on “Lani: Kind

  1. I’m first today? Wow… I think it’s hard to list who you’ve been kind to because it feels like bragging. But maybe not…Mostly, my being kind this week is about myself–trying to feel better about a situation that I’m powerless in. I’m so heartsick about Dee and I want to FIX THIS! But my power to heal someone of terminal cancer is limited to prayer, so I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of practical ways to help her. Today, I’m going up to clean her house before she goes into the hospital for the awful chemo, plus it’s a chance to be with her. Confession? She’s so frail, I don’t know how her little body can take all this toxic stuff being poured into it, and a tiny part of me is clutching in fear that today may be the last time I see her…

  2. I’m doing my best to be kind to myself and everyone else. My week has been neither f**ked nor fab. It’s just been exhausting the last few days while I get back on track with my normal routine. So, kindness to myself means going to be early and being careful about my food plan. Being kind to others means remembering that even though who are less than nice to me are human and fallible. I try to be a little extra understanding. Even if it doesn’t have an effect on them, it makes me feel better. 🙂

    Good luck with the move, Lani. Hope it all goes well!

  3. I am trying to be kind to myself. Working hard to have confidence that the finances will all work out and that if I need a job in the fall I’ll be able to find one. (my contract isn’t being renewed due to funding – or lack there of.)

    My oldest daughter is treating me so much better now she’s been away for nine months and that’s fab.

    I get to watch all three of my younger kids play in the All State Marching Band Parade this evening. So much fun…

    Being kind to myself by making an effort to have faith that I will finish both the books in a timely manner and that they will do well…

    Gotta believe in myself.

  4. CateM says:

    I was kind to my friend by staying up late to listen to her talk through some important life decisions. Which turned out to be a way of being kind to myself, because I got to spend time with her.

  5. Just being there is a lot. Many people turn away in times like this. They can’t handle it. You’re there for her. That’s big. Just be available for whatever she’ll let you do, whatever she needs. You’re doing great.

  6. Deborah Blake says:

    FGBVs and hugs, Nan. Is Dee a friend of yours? Family? Either way, I wish you both strength and healing. *more hugs, just because*

  7. Deborah Blake says:

    My week has been f-ed in that I discovered I have a major rat infestation in my basement and walls. (Can you say, EW????) But I’m dealing with it, so there’s that. But I am not being kind to the rats. Sorry, rats–you should have stayed OUT OF MY HOUSE.

    I’m being kind to myself by allowing myself to work at a slower pace than usual, and not worrying quite so much if I don’t get as much done as I’d like. I came out of the winter feeling just exhausted, and I feel like I need to feed both body and spirit to get myself back to feeling better. I’ve *finally* (after years of saying I was going to) gotten back to a regular meditation practice, and I’m working at cutting out things that suck up time and energy and don’t do anything positive for me. (Interwebs, I’m looking at you.) The first big step was to go on an “internet diet” on the weekends, and I am really enjoying it.

    I have also been kind to my writing partner Lisa, who is struggling with frustration with the rate at which her agent is reading and getting back to her (or not).

    Lani–have you moved yet?

  8. Office Wench Cherry says:

    You love her and she loves you and that’s something to hold onto. Let her take strength and courage from you. {hugs}

  9. I know my writer pal appreciated me helping her to access some new promo/marketing sites. She thinks I’m kind. : )
    But for the most part I experienced people being kind to me this week. A restaurant owner is setting up a booksigning for me, free of charge, all I have to pay for is the wine. No room fee, no food costs, no advertising costs. She is one of my Curves ladies and loves my books, and she wants to do this before they close up shop on go on summer hiatus. How kind and generous is that?

  10. Danielle says:

    AND you were being kind to yourself in another way: when you suddenly find yourself in a similar life-decision-crisis moment, you will remember what she went through and it will help you to put things into perspective. You will also feel more confident about reaching out for help, because you know that these things happen to everyone.

  11. Office Wench Cherry says:

    Today would have been my grandmother’s 97th birthday and I’m doing myself a giant favour and not thinking about it. I’m thinking about greenhouses and sidewalk blocks and paving stones and how Tall Boy’s haven’t-even-bought-it-yet buyer’s remorse can sometimes be a good thing.

    And I was kind to some random stranger by hurrying up and finishing the new Patricia Briggs’ Mercy Thompson novel so that the next person in the inter-library loan line could have it. Such a terrible hardship. I feel positively glowing with the depth of my compassion for my fellow reader. Of course, I could have bought it and read it weeks ago but I’m being kind to my bank account, and Tall Boy’s nerves, and not buying every book that I want. I am a virtue. LOLOL.

  12. I seem to spend all my time these days mentally fighting against panic. I might be winning but it’s taking so much focus I can’t get much else done. So I’ve been kind to myself by pulling back on the extra projects and focusing on the one that must be done.

    Other than that, the week hasn’t been F’d or Fab, really. The weather is better, even with the sprinkles. So that’s nice. If that’s the best I can get, I’ll take it.

  13. She will love that you came to help. You will love that you got this time with her. I know how you feel; these are the moments, later, that you hold onto to get you through the grief. (hugs)

  14. I find that kindness is contagious and that watching it in action is one of the best ways to see how karma works. Love that.

    Hubby & I had 30th anniversary party recently. And we were surrounded by kindness–it was whizzing back & forth everywhere. Even our “sensitive” pooch could feel it & joyfully interacted with everyone and peacefully slept amidst their feet. And she, like most animals, is such a good barometer for reading the atmosphere. Kindness may not always be tangible, but it IS always perceptible. For both giver and receiver. And the more it’s shared, the farther it reaches, and the list of who we’ve been kind to grows indirectly. Love that too:)

  15. You are doing what is possible, what you can, and that is all you can do. And that is love, as well, which means so much. Ditto what Toni said.

  16. Well, I’m being kind to myself by both allowing myself the rest I need and requiring that I accomplish something off of my to-do list daily. And trying to eat more healthy foods and fewer unhealthy ones.

    I listened to a friend rant about another friend so she could vent it all out. Then she felt better and was able to deal with him in a more rational manner.

    And I listened to Deb Blake bemoan the rats in her walls and commiserated. 🙂 I have great amounts of sorry for her about that!

  17. Jill says:

    My husband has been very kind to me . Like getting new foot rests for my bike even though I did not ask for them-that is just a tangible example of he fact that he cares for me . My roommates at RT and I have been kind to each other, more like considerate of each other. It is the reason we room together every year.

  18. My stress level has ratcheted up in the last couple of weeks and since I can be cranky when I’m stressed, I’ve been working hard to be as kind as possible. But yesterday a co-worker raised her voice with me yesterday when I asked about a work-related issue – she’s been difficult and unpleasant to me on and off for months. I realized that I’ve been way too nice to this person. I’m not going to go out of my way to be rude but I’m not wasting anymore of my energy on her.

  19. Hmm, kind. I am being kind to myself by doing a juicing program. I am on day 6 of 7 and so happy that it is almost over. I am accepting that I rarely get the burst of energy and health that other people describe when they do these things. My doctor thinks that it is because I am actually very healthy although fat. Our goal for this year is no more weight gain. She’d like to see a drop of 10 lbs for the year. I’d like to see closer to 40 or 50 lbs. Still, I think that this juicing thing will move forward into my life in the sense that I’ll be using juices and fresh smoothies to replace at least one meal a day and any snacking.

    As for other people, they have been on their own this week. It has been a week all about me. Kind indeed. I think I am going to go buy a bike this weekend. We shall see.

  20. Redwood Kim says:

    This week has revolved around my 93yo grandmother. She took a bad fall on Saturday night, and broke her left side – shoulder, hip, and foot. Thank goodness the neighbor heard her (I don’t know how we missed putting a life alert on her, but we had. It is remarkable to me, but she is expected to fully recover. In a year. The doctors said it just like that – you’ll be fully recovered in a year, as if she has every expectation of living that long.That, my friends, is fucking fabulous, right there.

    I was kind to my family, especially my brother who may have tried to tell me how to behave, once again. I am getting sick of the assumption that I need that coaching, but I chose to ignore it rather than engage. I was kind to myself – I called and cried all over my husband, and then let him tell me how completely wonderful I am. He was kind to me – first he said, go (she is 3 hours away) and then he said, stay – I’ll handle the kids tomorrow (gymnastics and swim lessons. Mondays are busy.)
    My neighbor was kind to me – she kept my kid occupied, and she got a couple of plants into planters for me. (Yikes, I need to go water them!)

  21. Office Wench Cherry says:

    That is fabulous – not the breaking part but the recovering part. My grandpa was 90 when he passed away and about three or so months before that he was, with the full blessing of his doctor, contemplating hip replacement surgery. He was told that he had the heart and lungs of a 30 year old. Truth be told he was probably better off than he was when he was 30 because he smoked then. Just because you’re getting up there doesn’t mean you’re not healthy.

  22. Deborah Blake says:

    Here’s hoping that your grandmother heals up quickly! (We didn’t get the alert thingy for my grandmother until after she broke her hip at 89…but she probably wouldn’t have put up with it before then either.)

  23. Maine Betty says:

    I was kind to myself, but wicked (as in “very”) mean to the dandelions in my yard. This was my last day of work, and I came home and pulled out the wicked (as in “evil”) looking dandelion digger-upper. Serrated, double edged, 12 inches long. This tool should be on Game of Thrones. Anyway, it was a mighty slaughter. And I mowed most of the lawn before the rain, which is expected tonight.

    Tomorrow is probably rainy, so I have some trim to paint.

    Now, I will have a wicked (as in “ill advisedly”) strong Gin & Tonic, and apply for more jobs tomorrow.

    And I will go see Iron Man 3. Wicked! (As in, “Good”)

  24. Kelly S. says:

    I was kind to two coworkers. One by being patient and the other actually received kindness from many coworkers as we all pitched in to help her with needs as she had a house fire happen at the beginning of this week. I’m proud of all the people at my work, especially those who organized the aid, in getting her things she needed now. She, her husband and 4 kids and all the animals are doing well.

    The week has had rough times but it could have been worse.

    The Fab part of the week so far was when I read that Hyperbole and a half is coming back!

  25. Micki says:

    OMG, it was so kind of you to share that! I hope she’s OK and keeping her head above water. I so enjoyed her comics.

  26. Micki says:

    Hmmm. I was kind to my students today, and I don’t think it really counts because they are so easy to be kind to. Adorable 12- and 13-year-olds who are starting to learn “real” English — I checked their names in roman letters, and talked to each one a little bit about writing it. So fun to see their eyes light up when I showed them a little something.

    I’ll be kind to my daughter and make her the ramen salad she requested for supper tonight — but, that’s also being kind to myself. Very self-interested so I’m not sure it counts (-:.

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