Krissie: Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

Photo on 7-19-13 at 9.00 AM Okay, the photos are looking a little boring. Maybe I’d better “Act, damn you.” Prepare for some poses.
So Jenny’s Bad Wolf is a different one from mine. Jenny’s Bad Wolf chows down on “you’re stupid, you can’t get anything done, you’re self-indulgent” etc. (I’m paraphrasing – her Bad Wolf says “you should be doing this, not that” which is the same thing).
My Good Wolf is the sturdy mother of Romulus and Remus. She tells me I’m brilliant, she tells me I’m funny (though my Bad Wolf makes me go too far), she tells me I’m magnificent.
Which of course I am. I’m in my element right now, and there’s something very freeing about it having nothing to do with writing, because I define myself with my writing.
But I digress. It’s been hot and humid and my Bad Wolf has spent the week sleeping. Oh, he’s popped up every now and then, but mainly he’s been working behind the scenes, getting me to commit to too much.
Today I’m writing a blog, copying the mayor’s speeches onto index cards because he’s 80 and can’t remember, heading down to Cara’s for an hour and a half of sewing, then rehearsal and notes at 2, working till 4:30, picnic on the town green (I’ll probably run home and jump in the pool), then another run through from 5:30 to 9. It’ll be in the high 80’s and very humid.
Oh, and I have to make my Pick-a-little hat today, plus I filled out a college loan application (don’t judge me) that got denied.
I’ll come home, jump in the pool if there’s no lightning (I did yesterday in the rain) and then fall into bed.
I volunteered to do the sewing (lots of it). I volunteered to do the cards for the Mayor. I volunteered to make my hat.
I volunteered to make the apron. Ye Gods.
I don’t know whether it’s GW or BW who tells me I can do all this. I think the main problem is energy. Performing is a burn-out, of course, with lots of standing and posing (One Grecian Urn!) and a bit of running on stage, not to mention the creative energy. Draining myself ahead of time isn’t a good idea.
I just need to do the best I can, and set limits when I can. I sit at any possible moment.
I’m not complaining. I’m still having the best time in the world. I just wish the damned Bad Wolf would shut up and stop raising his hand. Next thing you know I’ll start offering to do PR and then I really would explode.
So, does your Bad Wolf sign up for things that are too much?
Or does he tell you not to try at all? I’d rather have one that makes me do too much than one who tries to frighten me.
And speaking of wolves, I’ll recommend a good Werewolf romance each Friday. The first, the best, is BITTEN by Kelley Armstrong.

17 thoughts on “Krissie: Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

  1. My bad wolf tries to confuse me. He whispers in my ear “Are you sure this is the right thing to do?” “Who are you harming?” “The kids will get so screwed up if you do this.”

    So I end up doing nothing at all.

    It doesn’t help that I’m worthless in this heat. I’ve been writing (yay me!) but all the other plans I made are going out the window. My leg’s in an air cast again, which is a pretty good excuse to do nothing but I really want to get some things done.

    Or maybe I don’t and it’s just the bw telling me that I do so I’ll feel guilty.

    See? Very confusing Bad Wolf. But mostly I ignore him. This is my summer, GDI, and I get to enjoy it.

  2. Maine Betty says:

    That’s a great question. My Bad Wolf tells me it’s useless, you won’t enjoy it, you’ll suck, never mind, it’s too much trouble.

  3. Justine Hutchinson says:

    I’m not sure if it is Bad Wolf or Good Wolf who signs me up for so much. This may be one area where they work together. Wolves do like to hunt in packs.

  4. I sign up for too much because it’s stuff I want to do. I have no trouble saying no to boring things, or things that will mean I’ll have to put on make-up and leave the house. But the things about writing or art are irresistible. I still maintain this house was a great deal in a beautiful place which is why I bought it, but deep inside I know it was also because it was such a great blank canvas for me to paint my own home on. If it hadn’t been such a great art project, I wouldn’t have gone for it. Same way with McD: teaching somebody else’s curriculum? Not so much. Writing my own? Sign me up.

    It’s a curse, needing to make things.

  5. JenniferNennifer says:

    My bad wolf first says “you aren’t good enough, you will never succeed at X” Then, once it convinces me and I give up, it whispers “Why aren’t you doing X? You’re a bad person for not doing so” Repeat as necessary. So apparently my BW does both.

    Fortunately, GW points out “If you’re so bad, why do so many people love you?” which BW always find unanswerable. Even BW knows it ultimately comes down to who you let yourself be; what you do only count if it is driven by who you really are.

  6. My BW tends to work on me until I get paralyzed and do nothing. Then it gets all in my face about why am I not doing the things I need/want to do.

    My GW is a bit passive and pats my head and says “there there” a little too much. My GW needs to get more active, I think. I definitely need a push, in a positive way.

    At least I no longer overbook. I used to do that a lot.

  7. Cindy says:

    My Bad Wolf tells me that I’m not likable, so I feel intimidated by everyone/anyone I meet. I’d probably sign up for a lot of things, just so they’d like me. Then I’d get overwhelmed, and I’d feel like I let everyone down. And I’d feel like they were right not to like me. Stupid undermining BW.

    My GW is being an awesome cheerleader lately. She keeps cheering me on to work out and eat healthy. I feel better than I have in years. I’m also sleeping soundly. I love it.

  8. My bad wolf has been munching away at me because the house has not sold so we are stuck on the commercial building loan with a usurious interest rate paying $800 a month INTEREST ONLY and none of my ads or signs have resulted in a single call about the house in three weeks. So BW says the house hasn’t sold because I am STUPID and LAZY and NOT MAKING AN EFFORT.

    Also I haven’t been on the elliptical in a week because of the kidney stone so BW also adds in SLOTHFUL AND GLUTTONOUS AND LAZY AGAIN.

    The toddler is in a major whine phase so add in BAD MOMMY to the BW rap this week.

  9. Lynda says:

    My BW is telling me that I’m not being serious enough about my weight-loss program–that despite the fact that I’ve lost 110 pounds so far–and I should be getting some exercise, even though it’s 105 outside and my arthritic knees are killing me. BW also points out that I should QUIT BUYING SEWING STUFF UNTIL I USE UP WHAT I ALREADY HAVE. (I dunno. BW may well have a point about that.) Mostly BW tells me that I should be DOING SOMETHING, that I’m bored and boring and not making proper use of this comfortable life I have now. The problem is, I really haven’t a clue exactly what it is I should be doing. Everything I can think of involves assuming responsibility for somebody else’s issues, and, well, fuck it, after all those years I spent as a caregiver for my sick husband, the very last thing I want in my life is somebody else to take care of.

  10. My bad wolf says “Nobody wants to hear from *you*” “Don’t call her/him/them, you’ll be disturbing/interrupting/disrupting her/him/them.” Bad wolf says “Stay home” you’ll have no-one to talk to.

    My good wolf likes making friends and does make friends in almost any social ituation.

    This year my good wolf and I committed to saying yes to every invitation I received provided I didn’t have a prior engagement. If the choice is between staying at home and going out, GO OUT. My good wolf is Alpha Bitch of the Pack. My Bad wolf is lone wolf but not in the “too cool for pack way” but in the solitary beast way.

  11. Redwood Kim says:

    My Good Wolf got hammered by a family member last Friday, spewing vile ugly things. My Bad Wolf told me I deserved (and then, so did my mother, which is a whole different story.) My Good Wolf Snarled back at both of them, hit the unfriend button, and even managed to calm my mother (then she made a note – do not call Mom in these situations, because she. does. not. help. She loves me all she can, but…)
    This, my Good Wolf has been revelling in my life, because frankly, it rocks. The Little is potty trained. The Big is starting to help around the house. They both get compliments on their manners all the time. My husband loves me fiercely. We are both exercising like fiends and turning our health around. We’re even having more sex.
    I just started a volunteer position that I’m really excited about – my husband has 2 possible new positions at his company.
    My Good Wolf is howling at the summer moon, and I am howling right there with her.

  12. Major chowdown for the Bad Wolf this week when someone (unintentionally) alluded to how big I am getting. That HURT. Like cry in the bathroom, punch the walls hurt. But I’m spinning it to be good motivation to kick my ass in gear on exercising and general healthiness. Still: ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

    But this is supposed to be about feeding the good wolf SO! Happy thoughts…

    1. Pacific Rim. OMG SO GOOD! And a female lead who was more than an annex to the hero, but a person in her own right. One of my new favorite movies. I’ve already seen it twice. Review here for those who haven’t seen it yet and need convincing. (Go see it! Go see it! I want sequels!!!)

    2. Drinks with friends last night. Very fun. Good people. GREAT food. And black cherry beer. Yum. (the eating healthy part of Get in Shape starts today.)

    3. Finished the last draft of my book then sent it off to zee agent for her notes. Really love that book. I hope it finds a good home and people who love it. lol. And NOW I get to play with the screenplay again. Time travel. Romance. Adventure. Whee!

    And, I dunno if this is kosher, but if we’re talking werewolf books, well…I have a werewolf book… “The Beauty’s Beast” by E.D. Walker. It’s about a cursed werewolf knight and the noble lady who loves him. Just throwing that out there. Hope that’s OK. 🙂

  13. I like helping people and organizing things so I also get overloaded with chores. Right now I’m helping my writing teacher organize our writer’s critique group, which takes up a lot of time, but I get stuff out of it. Both writing stuff and social stuff, so for me it’s totally worth it. I can see how it might get to be too much, though. Especially if he keeps adding people! Oy.

    I think I’m pretty good at saying “enough” when it gets to be too much. You just really have to be able to step back and look at it and say, “Am I getting enough out of this to make the time/mental commitment worth it?” That’s not always easy when you’re overwhelmed and you’ve been doing whatever for a long time, though.

  14. I overschedule at the last minute make myself crazy. GW likes that I think of these things to do for people and BW bites my ankles.

  15. Office Wench Cherry says:

    My bad wolf – and my good wolf for that matter – has jam all over her muzzle and is too full to talk. It was a busy day and a good week. Five kinds of jams/jellies made today, the last one is being processed as I type. Oh, I had a job interview on Monday. I think it went well but you never know.

  16. just remember the motto, “all things in moderation including moderation.”

    And my key to celebratory food events is now – bring a friend and split it. Split everything, bring no left overs home – that eat it later for another meal doesn’t work for me, at all!

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