Krissie: Update

Photo on 3-27-13 at 11.01 AM 235.9 fucking pounds. Jesus! What the fuck have I been doing? (Sorry for all the fucks, but fuck!).
Okay, I’ve got a lot on my plate..  (Chortle — that was an accident,  I certainly do have a lot on my plate and I’ve been eating it all).
Time to take stuff off my plate, literally and figuratively. I want to feel better (my pain issues are giving me fits) and I want to be healthy.
I actually did a good job yesterday. Breakfast bar for breakfast, oatmeal with splenda and unsweetened frozen raspberries for lunch, a big salad (with too much yummy stuff in it like avocado), a plain bagel (nothing on it and I didn’t eat the second one) and scallops and oven fries for dinner. Not a lot of noshing in between and no visit to McD’s even though I went by two.
Okay, pull up my socks and get it together. No more McD’s for anything but a DC and/or salad. Smaller servings of oatmeal (measure). Cut out the dinner-time starches. Push the veggies and fruit.
Two things I can do — use NetDiary for a reality check (also my scale) and be mindful. It’s so easy to toss a handful of something into my mouth. Grazing is healthy but not all day long.
C’mon, Krissie, get it together. I’ve been Ziggy Piggy when I go to NJ (I just saw “Bill and Ted” again last night so the term is on my mind). I need to figure out how to partake of the culinary joys of NJ (Kathy’s diner, real pizza) without getting out of control. Particularly since I seem to end up there every few weeks (and will be there in another three weeks or so again).
Richie also hit me with the usual bad financial news, but we’ll deal with that. At least my car was repaired and I was only out $800 instead of $2000. And I love my car.
Got a traffic ticket yesterday but the nice cop cut it down to 10 miles over the speed limit instead of the 15 (and I was more likely going 25 because I was passing someone). He probably saw me crying (I was trying to hide it) so my ticket was only $99 instead of $200 and something. I was late for the dentist and they’re nasty when you’re late. Sigh.
But I’m writing, and as I said yesterday, things fall into place when I write.
Which I’m going to do now.
But I need to check in with food counts and weight every day for a week and see how things go. So far, only a Tab and a breakfast bar. Maybe a salad for lunch before I see my shrink.
Aaaargh. I will do this!
I WILL DO THIS!

27 thoughts on “Krissie: Update

  1. The next time you’re here, we’ll be mostly traveling so we can control eating there, lots of salads. But, yes, we have to do better. Chili isn’t fattening, right? It’s the corn muffins. We’ll make a plan.

  2. Theresa says:

    Protein. Don’t forget protein. Nuts, frex, may be a bit higher in calories, but they help to fill you up and give your muscles what they need to stay strong (and muscle cells burn more than fat cells). Apples and peanut butter, celery and peanut butter, sliced turkey and chicken or a hardboiled egg added to your salad, low-fat string cheese, light laughing cow cheese triangles with a few triscuts, a handfull of almonds, low-fat cottage cheese with fruit, low-fat plain yogurt with fruit…

    Um, yeah ok, I’ll stop now.

  3. Oh, honey. Sorry it’s been so stressful, and yugh about all the hits that keep on coming. But you’ll do great. You just have get back on your system, and it’s been hard with all the travel and the stress. The thing is, you’ve done this before, and you can do it again, and you’ve maintained most of your weight loss, so you’re still ahead! Big hugs, love.

  4. Krissie, could it be water weight? Whether or no, you’re already figuring out how to get back on track, so go, you!
    I gave up chocolate for Lent–not for any religious reason or in anticipation of losing a ton of weight, but more because I needed some discipline in my life around food. Just one thing I could prove to myself I could control. It’s been tough, especially while I was out with Grandboy, where there’s so much yummy chocolate deliciousness (See’s candy, anyone?). But I did it and I didn’t even succumb to salted caramel brownie cake pops at the Starbuck’s in the Vegas airport. I got green tea and ate the crackers I’d brought from Son’s house.

    Even when I met fellow ReFabbers at Federicos Tapas and Wine Bar and Rico, the chef, comped us three gorgeous desserts to share, two of which were chocolate, I remained steadfast. Only a week more, but I’m rather proud that I’ve done it and without eating my way through other sweets. A bonus is I’ve lost a few pounds and didn’t gain an ounce at Son’s. The best part–I can do this. I can!

  5. It is frustrating. Hang in there Krissie, you can do this.

    I went to a conference a couple of weeks ago and the food was fabulous. I kid you not. No rubber chicken lunches. I ate everything they put in front of me, and had a few glasses of wine, and thought I was doing fine. My clothes still fit nicely.

    On the last day (of course it was the big booksigning event) I woke up with puffy eyes and had to wear a loose fitting top to cover my four days of sin. Everything had tasted sooooo good because it had salt in it. Duh! I haven’t used salt in over 20 years.

    When I got back home my weight was up almost 5lbs. I swear it has taken me two weeks to return to normal. And that means no wine, a lot of salads, watching the salt intake of prepared foods, no eating in restaurants, working out at least four times a week, and flooding my poor system with water.

  6. Kieran says:

    Keep it simple! Here are some ideas:

    1) Do My Net Diary no matter what
    2) go to the pool twice a week, and throw a party if you get there three times a week
    3) if you have Gold Fish, only have them in packets so you can write down the calories on that packet
    4) don’t stop with avocado, non- or low-fat Greek yogurt, walnuts, almonds, peanut butter, eggs or egg whites, and Ezekiel sprouted grain bread, which has protein in it
    5) have the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day except Sunday

    Monosaturated fats like avocado and olive oil help slim you. So does lowfat Greek yogurt. So do nuts. Just measure everything and write it in MyNet Diary. Don’t take on any more than that! Just chill and keep moving forward! It’s a train that you will never get off of. You’re not dieting. You’re establishing a new way of life.

    • This, so much:

      “You’re not dieting. You’re establishing a new way of life.”

      That attitude (plus looking at it as “eat more good stuff,” instead of the deprivation of “eat less bad stuff”) helped me lose thirty pounds (got another 30 to go, but that’s a lot for me) and keep it off permanently (judging by how long each ten-pound increment has stayed off).

    • AuntieJB says:

      I agree. And find a way to move more. That’s the key, especially when you’re already doing such a good job with the calorie intake.

    • Kieran says:

      The same way a diabetic has to carry around insulin and my son has to carry an Epi-pen for his allergies, you have to carry around My Net Diary. I hope it’s on your phone and not the computer. If that’s the case, please try to get it on your smartphone. Tell yourself it’s non-negotiable.

      THAT is your primary lifesaving medicine…the act of observing and recording what you consume. I’ve done it now for a couple months. I won’t eat at places that can’t tell me how many calories something is, and I tell them so. OTOH, I praise places that list the calorie content on their menus. I do it loudly, too. I don’t care how dumb I look. I ask every time. Because this is how I’m living my life now. Forever.

      • Good idea about putting it on my smart phone. Though I spend a lot more time on my computer than my phone. However, I also eat when I’m out, so it would give me a reality check.
        One good thing about VT (and there are many) — calorie counts are mandatory at any chain restaurant. So you have to make informed choices.

        • Jill says:

          Joe has an app on his iPhone–Eat This Not That. He pulls it out when we go into a new restautant. If I ate and excersized like he does I would lose weight. It’s that Mad Wolf self disclipine that gets me .

    • Micki says:

      Measuring out your own snack packs really can help. I usually do mine on Sunday night. Ziploc bags will work fine, but I splurged on five little sta-loc containers (they don’t open in my purse or get holes). Set ’em up all at once, and then just pop them in your purse as you leave the house. (Or keep ’em in the car until summer heat starts up.)

      My favorite is a dried cherry/almond/chocolate chip mix. The cherries are supposed to have natural pain killers. But what works best is two graham crackers with peanut butter smeared between. And a sprinkle of cinnamon. (I don’t know about leaving that out on the counter for a week; I’d only leave those out for 24 hours or less.)

      For at-home snacks, we’ve been indulging in Strawberry Water — just four or five frozen strawberries with some water and some Okinawan brown sugar.

  7. You have to eat more for breakfast. Ideally, you should eat your largest meal of the day in the morning, when you’ve got all day to burn it off. And there’s something about taking the time to make yourself a big breakfast in the morning, taking the time to sit down and eat it, that is for me such an expression of self-care. I feel pampered and more relaxed, and I make better food choices the rest of the day. I also read an article in O that said that if you’re going to have dessert, the best time of day to have it is in the morning after breakfast. That’s a nice little ritual, too. I like a barefoot contessa brownie and a cup of chai tea. 🙂

    • That is what I was going to say. Breakfast IS the most important meal of the day. A breakfast bar isn’t enough. Eat more egg whites. I have oatmeal and add the egg whites to it for beakfast. You can’t taste the egg whites, and it is an excellent source of protein. Oatmeal, 1/4 cup of egg whites, berries, raw pumpkin seeds (1 Tbsp) and non-fat greek yogurt (plain is the best as there’s no sugar in it.)

  8. Cindy says:

    Man, oh man, can I relate to this. I’ve been doing the same thing. There’s too much life on my plate, and then too much food ends up on my plate. But I’m going to tackle it. No more excuses. I’ve made a mental grocery list, and there’s Greek yogurt on it, and veggies and fruit on it. I need to quit eating crap. I keep snacking on bad stuff. I need to knock the shit off.

  9. Amen, Sister Krissie! I’m struggling and my goal for today is to eat on my food plan just for today. I want today to be on target. Tomorrow doesn’t get my focus until I wake up.

    A friend also reminded me that food is food and feelings are feelings and the two don’t have anything to do with each other. No matter what’s stressing me out or making an impact, I need to choose not to eat over it.

  10. Lynda says:

    Hugs. It’s always a battle. You can do it! And please pay attention to Mary Stella’s very wise words that “food is food and feelings are feelings and the two don’t have anything to do with each other.” Despite lifelong indoctrination that one should feel guilty for messing up one’s diet, the fact is that guilt is NOT an appropriate reaction. UNLESS YOU’RE STEALING THE FOOD FROM SOMEBODY ELSE, EATING IS NOT A MORAL FAILING!!!!! Instead, just think of it as a sign that you need to tweak your food plan, that there’s something your body needs that you’re not getting. I started to write “that you’re not getting at the moment,” but that’s dangerous because it leads to micromanaging. Weight varies by day. That’s an indisputable fact. It’s the big picture that’s important, and you need to remind yourself that you are much healthier than you were a year ago. In the end that’s really all that counts.

  11. I am right where I’ve been for the last six months. I just need to face facts that you can over eat anything. Plus, I am happier and less stressed when I write. I think that I am going to focus on meditating every day and writing every day. Pretty sure that I’ve been dealing with some mild depression (the anger is starting to pop up unexpectedly, too.). Okay, for the next month, my 3 top things are 1. Writing; 2. Meditating and 3. Exercise every day.

  12. G and T says:

    I know the good wolf/bad wolf thing is not your thing, but you just bought your bad wolf a big-ass steak dinner with pie ala mode for dessert.(The analogy is already about food, so yeah, I went there.) But one day is not your whole life. (For me, either, I am reminding myself as I type this.)

    After some wallowing this week while reviewing past failures of many kinds, I sternly reminded myself that you can’t change the past but you can bring lessons learned forward into your life.

    It’s raining here, the snow piles are melting, things are turning green and the days are getting longer, and I am looking forward to warm weather by which time I hope my diligent work in the gym on my arms will be seen by all.

  13. I am thinking I have to cut out everything sweet. Diet sodas, splenda in my tea… All that shit. I am totally out of control because my life has gone to hell again and if I don’t manage my blood sugar I’m not going to live long enough to become a best seller. And since that’s my goal I’d better figure out the food thing!

    And of course there’s a medication debacle and my doctor is trying to blackmail me into coming into the office. I told him after all the MRIs and PT and chiropractic is over, but he’s not willing to wait. Asshole. I no he thinks it’s for my own good, but I need less stress not another appointment to fit in.

    If you listened carefully you might have heard me yelling fuck a duck last night in front of my kids!

  14. Micki says:

    I hate to bring this up, but could impulse control be a victim of your meds? It might be that whatever is shutting up the nasty voices in your head is also shutting up the superego voice that keeps you on track. If that is so, that’s a tough, tough call. But . . . it’s better to be fat and happy than thin and miserable. Of course, if you are feeling fat and miserable, that’s the worst of both worlds.

    I think what I need is a schedule — no decisions whatsoever except who/what goes in my novel. Everything else should probably be on auto-pilot. What I’m eating, when I go to bed, when I walk and exercise, when I write and where . . . . I think I’ve got decision fatigue. I fall in the same trap of yelling at myself for not doing this or that, instead of taking that time to pick up three pieces of junk, or getting five minutes of sleep.

    I haven’t gotten my schedule for work, really, so I’m going to be anxious until that’s really settled. Which it never will be, so I might as well chill out.

  15. I have the exact same problem with food. When I work from home, the kitchen is 5 feet away, and if I get bored, I go wander east to see what’s available. Even though I’ve lost almost 50 pounds, I still catch myself wondering what’s in the candy bin.

    It’s now empty, thanks, and I won’t be filling it again, even though I have 2 teenage boys in the house. I started telling myself, “I’m stronger than my impulses,” and then I go browse online yarn shops or pick up something to knit/crochet. Whatever it takes to keep my hands and mind busy.

    You can do this. You’re stronger than your impulses.

    • Yeah, there’s been white chocolate around. I don’t like chocolate, so candy has never been an issue, but I’ve discovered I do like white chocolate Reese’s peanut butter eggs. Fortunately they’re so sweet/salty that I can’t eat much. It’s an usual taste for me — I can clearly taste the salt among the sweet. Is that usual for candy?
      I had my first Kit-kat at Christmas because they had white chocolate ones. Those were good too. Satan, get thee behind me.

  16. pamb says:

    Krissie, PLEASE eat more protein & eat it earlier in the day!

    I’m all for good carbs, but look at what you listed for yesterday and what you’ve planned for today. All grains and veggies with a tad of protein until supper. (You know I’m not a low/no carb devotee but others here might make that assumption.)

    We need protein for our stamina & it really satiates & cuts cravings.

    For Ern, grains with gluten caused intense joint pain. You must come stay with us for a week & let us experiment with your diet. (g)

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