Okay, here’s my plan. I drive the 65 miles to the big city, drop a load at Goodwill (why does that sound obscene?), return software for my BFF, take clothes to consignment place, get a pedicure, go to the doctor, go to Costco, come home. So now I have to figure out how long it’s gonna take and what time I should leave and what else I want to do. I think I want to go to Barnes and Noble and the health food store. So I think I should just take off. If I end up having extra time I can always … ooooh, go shopping? Bad idea. I don’t need anything. But maybe I can play. Actually I could use a pair of pull on jeans in a smaller size. Mine are all too big.
But no more organizing stuff, no more containers. And tomorrow I’m … no, tomorrow I’m going to Alex’s birthday party. But after that I’m going to clean my living room, particularly since Alex will be here.
Anyway, it’s a day in the big city, and I think I need to enjoy it. Mini-me was sounding incredibly stressed last night, after a long day of work and trouble trying to arrange my mother’s memorial service down in Princeton. But we’ll get it worked out, sooner or later. And I don’t need to worry about it today.
Today, I will have fun. I will have a pedicure and buy myself one small thing and not worry about anything. Anything at all.
Now where are my tranquilizers?
So what is it about having fun that makes me stressed? Why do I feel like I always have to be nose-to-the-grindstone, both on the house and my work. The decluttering situation, difficult when I started the year, is now on steroids because of my mother’s death. It’s out of control, and I have to do something about it because it’s making me crazy.
But I am doing something about it. I’m taking stuff to good will and the consignment place. Calm, Krissie. Stay calm. I can just feel the anxiety ratcheting up and I’m not sure why.
It would be nice if I had Mini-me or a friend to go with me, but BFF has screwed up her something muscle and it’s like sciatica. She’s in horrible pain and can’t do anything (hence her inability to help with the mess of the house). But I’ll listen to audio books and enjoy myself without spending money. Then again, I’ve stopped indiscriminate spending (though I indulge a bit when I visit Crusie).
Okay, it’s going to be fun. I’ll take it slow and easy. I won’t get stressed and drive too fast and cry, which I do too often. I won’t obsess over things.
It’s going to be all right.