Krissie: Too many things

Okay, here’s my plan. I drive the 65 miles to the big city, drop a load at Goodwill (why does that sound obscene?), return software for my BFF, take clothes to consignment place, get a pedicure, go to the doctor, go to Costco, come home. So now I have to figure out how long it’s gonna take and what time I should leave and what else I want to do. I think I want to go to Barnes and Noble and the health food store. So I think I should just take off. If I end up having extra time I can always … ooooh, go shopping? Bad idea. I don’t need anything. But maybe I can play. Actually I could use a pair of pull on jeans in a smaller size. Mine are all too big.
But no more organizing stuff, no more containers. And tomorrow I’m … no, tomorrow I’m going to Alex’s birthday party. But after that I’m going to clean my living room, particularly since Alex will be here.
Anyway, it’s a day in the big city, and I think I need to enjoy it. Mini-me was sounding incredibly stressed last night, after a long day of work and trouble trying to arrange my mother’s memorial service down in Princeton. But we’ll get it worked out, sooner or later. And I don’t need to worry about it today.
Today, I will have fun. I will have a pedicure and buy myself one small thing and not worry about anything. Anything at all.
Now where are my tranquilizers?
So what is it about having fun that makes me stressed? Why do I feel like I always have to be nose-to-the-grindstone, both on the house and my work. The decluttering situation, difficult when I started the year, is now on steroids because of my mother’s death. It’s out of control, and I have to do something about it because it’s making me crazy.
But I am doing something about it. I’m taking stuff to good will and the consignment place. Calm, Krissie. Stay calm. I can just feel the anxiety ratcheting up and I’m not sure why.
It would be nice if I had Mini-me or a friend to go with me, but BFF has screwed up her something muscle and it’s like sciatica. She’s in horrible pain and can’t do anything (hence her inability to help with the mess of the house). But I’ll listen to audio books and enjoy myself without spending money. Then again, I’ve stopped indiscriminate spending (though I indulge a bit when I visit Crusie).
Okay, it’s going to be fun. I’ll take it slow and easy. I won’t get stressed and drive too fast and cry, which I do too often. I won’t obsess over things.
Deep breath.
It’s going to be all right.

24 thoughts on “Krissie: Too many things

  1. You’ll do great. You have a plan, and that plan includes emotional stability. You’ve been doing great when you verbalize your intentions, so this counts and you will manage beautifully and gracefully.

    Have fun. Truly — have fun!

  2. German Chocolate Betty says:

    Yes, I too love the colors. I particularly love that you are wearing EARRINGS. At first I thought you had a little glowing angel or something sitting on your shoulder, because of the lovely iridescent color. (smile)

    Everything will work out. Just think “go forward, not back” and you’ll be okay!

  3. oneoftheotherjennifers says:

    Have you noticed that sometimes, trying not to stress can be stressful in itself? Maybe if you can let that part go, the actual stress will be more manageable.

    Do none of the charities do pickups? I know you’re remote, but isn’t there a truck that comes through occasionally? I do take things to the Salvation Army, but I also have monthly pick-ups from Amvets. Every month, they just call me to confirm ahead of time in case we’re going to be away. They even leave a receipt for the taxes. Maybe you could ask Richie to call around to your favorite charities and see if they do this.

  4. Chris S. says:

    It sucks when the response to “What do I need to do first?” is a panicked “Everything!”

    When that happens, I take comfort in the words of the inimitable Terry Pratchett: “Don’t think of it as a big bucket of snakes. Think of it as one snake at a time.”


  5. oneoftheotherjennifers says:

    Got distracted by the charity stuff- meant to say, you look amazing! Earrings, colors, hair, and your skin is lovely.

  6. Agree with the others. First thing I noticed is how pretty you look. Great color on you and love the earrings.

    Small bites is the only way you’re going to get through this. Isn’t there some saying about eating an elephant or something? It’s Friday. Brain has already left for the weekend.

    Anywho, that stuff will all find a home eventually. Whether it’s a spot in yours or someone elses. Life happens and that means sometimes stuff shows up overnight. Attack like you did the baskets. One section at a time.

    But have fun today!

  7. As others have noted, you look very fetching in blue. Love the earrings!

    I can sympathize with the overwhelmingness of oragnizing what seems like a hopeless mess. Our dining room table is piled high with stuff (95% mine) to the point where DS has commented (has to be pretty awful for an 11 yr old to notice). It makes my stomach clench every time I walk by.

    It sounds like you are doing a great job at de-cluttering. In terms of what remains to be done, perhaps you could set one major goal per week/month? By breaking it down into smaller bits, you may feel like you are more in control and getting more done.

  8. Caryn says:

    Sometimes when you try to take a day off all the things you’ve been coping with and thus trying to avoid feeling about all come and hit you. At least, for me.

    Hope you have a great day — may be come home feeling as fabulous as you look now!

  9. You know I always cry in the car. I don’t know why. It just seems the place to sob. I keep kleenex in the car and pull over when it gets bad. I’m not sobbing every time I get in the car or anything, but there’s something about the privacy, about being in it alone and not needing to worry about any feelings except my own and the next thing I know – sobbing.

    I do pull over mind you. So, if any of you pass a crazy woman pulled over to the side of the road in Southern California sobbing hysterically and shaking her fist at the roof of the car, just drive on by. I am taking a moment for emotional healing.

  10. oneoftheotherjennifers says:

    I cry in the shower. Not often, but when there is something to cry about, that’s where I do it. I’m alone (most of the time), no one can hear me, and there’s no evidence when I’m done.

  11. Lynda says:

    Something that I remember from when we first met a gazillion years ago is that you were always wearing the most amazing, beautiful beaded chandelier earrings. When I commented on them, you said your sister had made them for you. I don’t suppose you have any left, do you? They strike me as the kind of ornament that is never intended to last very long, but the memory remains clear to me.

    Have fun in the big city–and even more fun at Alex’s birthday party!

  12. i haven’t been here long – finally followed crusie over here from argh – but this whole de-cluttering thing has had you ripping yourself apart since i got here. that just can’t be good for you.

    i can’t remember the name of the show, but the lady made her living organizing estate sales and such for other people. she can’t be the only one – for heaven’s sake, stop torturing yourself and get help. help that won’t be ridiculously attached to every stinking spoon. (i say that only because i understand. it took YEARS before i could throw away movie stubs.) help that will know how much every stinking spoon is worth and how to find the market that will pay for it.

    you look fabulous and you have a day to play. enjoy it and use the time to rebuild what you need to tackle the world again tomorrow.

  13. Jill says:

    Krissie, whatever that color is you should wear it often. That and the earings feel ‘happy’.
    Does the B&N have a coffee shop ? Best hang out place.
    Alex’s birthday–celebrate his happiness !

  14. Fun is one of those things that, if you plan for it, the anxiety immediately creeps in. I hope you enjoyed your day, I hope it all went well for you.

    Next time, plan a shopping trip, not for “fun”. I’m willing to bet it’ll be easier, and the fun will be there, if you don’t put so much emphasis on it.

    Hugs hon!

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