Krissie: This n That

I got distracted looking up Duff McKagan on Wikipedia. My goodness, he’s more than just pretty. Yum!
Okay, must behave.
A little bit more on the money situation. The thing is, our only income is from my writing. We cashed in any stocks we had to pay for the therapeutic schools (read that as “keep ’em off drugs” schools) that kept my son alive during his teenage years. Money well-spent.
But we’ve never figured out how to budget if we never know what kind of money is coming in when.
But still, a professional will probably be able to help us. And while the conversation was depressing I just went down and worked on cleaning up my sewing area so I can sew some more, so that was good.
I’ve got this sort of angst/worried/edgy feeling going on. Everything feels wrong and out of place, but that’s logical. We live just a little ways past the nursing home, and I always expected my mother would go in there and drift away, not go out with a bang like that.
Then again, in my family we never get any warning. People just fucking die.
The good thing about that is that no one gets cancer. The bad thing about that is they mostly die too young to get cancer.
Saw the Bourne Legacy last night and really liked it. Jeremy Renner is 41? Damn, 41 looks good nowadays. Then again, Duff McKagan was born when I was a junior in high school.
Eh, age ain’t nothing but a number.
Gotta figure out a way to get rid of this edgy feeling. Maybe some low-key nesting. Maybe better living through chemistry?
I got replacement stuff for my c-pap machine and had a better night’s sleep. I also had pool-floating time, which always helps.
So here’s your final treat. Alastair and Lani put these shaky, shadowy clips into one file and you get to see glorious Sister Krissie in full regalia, acting, damn it.

26 thoughts on “Krissie: This n That

  1. Oh yay! I get to see Krissie sing some more. That was such a fun performance.

    Krissie, can I recommend a short walk? Although that should give you the same feeling as being in the pool. I find that edgy feeling goes away if I get out and move around.

    Alternatively, I learned to do this technique from Dale Carnegie School:

    Think of the worst possible outcome and accept that you could live through whatever that scenario is. That frees your mind from the anxiety so it can work on solutions while you are doing other things.

    BTW, my worst scenario was prison. It took me a long time to accept that I could survive going to prison. Thank god I never had to. And I don’t remember why I thought that could be an outcome, I doubt it was ever really a possibility. I never even did anything illegal! (At that time.)

  2. Barbara Cameron says:

    Wow! What a lovely surprise to sit down to read Re-Inventing this a.m. and find your performance in the play! Loved it! Your voice and acting were delightful — loved the way you did the dialogue about Maria and your voice just soared. So glad you got this opportunity at a time when it seems it was just what you needed. And the audience sounded appreciative!

    The feeling of anxiety — maybe a little doom? –you described sounds like what I experience after going through difficult times like your mom. I had something similar when my mom looked like she was going to die several months ago. She didn’t but it seems almost more stressful that she recovered because now I keep wondering when her strange malady is going to reappear. I’m a writer as well and when money is unpredictable it will cause anxiety as well.

    You’ll get through this just fine because each day you get up and tackle your day. That is serving you well.

  3. Love the clip. Thanks for sharing. Captures the energy of the play. Fave bit is the “How do you solve a problem like Maria” song.

    Hats off to the avant garde camera work–made me feel like I was there. Whenever I go to a play, some tall people inevitably sit in front of me at the last minute, and I have to bob & weave around their heads to see the stage:)

    And good luck figuring out the money. Living off unpredictable money flow is not easy. My approach would be to look at the past year’s annual earnings and use that as my guide to estimate the worst-case-scenario projection for the coming year then amortize that out by month to get my budget. Then if you earn more, it’s a bonus. And I’m sure once the dust settles from the past few months and you get back to a more regular routine, the writing will flow and bonus territory will come around sooner than you think.

  4. Deb says:

    oooh, oooh, ooh, (in memory of Ron Palillo aka Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter) I just discovered a wonderful way to dispell a worried/edgy feeling….it’s not a particularly unusual thing to do but it was new to me. Went camping up in Maine last weekend, woke up at dawn (something completely alien to my nature) and just sat on the rocks by the shore watching the mist and the water and the birds. I came away with an absolutely unprecendented feeling of peace and serenity. Honestly, it felt spritual. Never felt anything like it before.

    Can you get away for a couple of hours from people and all the things you need to do and just be solitary in nature? I highly recommend it. (And this is from someone who really likes the luxuries of life like indoor plumbing.)

  5. Krissie this was a wonderful video. You were superb! Magnificent! Wish I could have been there to applaud. I’m so glad you had this wonderful play to carry you through those sad days. Big Hugs.
    Hope your Friday is a fun one. I had funky Thursday so I think I’m off the hook today.

  6. Maine Betty says:

    Your brain is possibly still expecting to get a call from your mother, you’re holding yourself ready to dash off and fix things for her. It must be pretty ingrained, after all this time. That’s my experience with a responsibility that was suddenly removed; I kept mentally tense (and therefore physically tense) about for some time after it was no longer necessary.

    This is a lovely day in Maine, I hope it’s also that way in Vermont!

  7. Sharon S. says:

    Thank you for sharing, Krissie. I loved it. I’m in a constant state of turmoil over money, and I have a full-time job…I just spend too much. I hope you get it figured out, Krissie. It can make you crazy. Don’t ignore it though…it doesn’t go away, believe me, I’ve tried it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Happy Friday.

  8. pamb says:

    Thanks, Alastair & Lani!

    Such fun to see you in action, Krissie. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I think we’re like 22 hrs apart on birth time. I’m having the same low-key dread. Could be the stars, more likely it’s our lifestage, shit hitting the fan for past money choices.

    But we’re not only survivors, we’re thrivers. We will be fine, even if we can’t quite see yet what “fine” will be.

    What to those Motel Six commercials say? “You have my word on it.” (g)

  9. oneoftheotherjennifers says:

    That was so fun! Thank you! You guys were great.

    Regarding uneven cash flow issues- we have this. Here’s how I deal with it:

    1- Never use credit. I don’t mean I don’t use credit cards, I do, for everything including utilities, etc., so that we can get frequent flier miles for every dollar we spend- we need them so we can join my husband occasionally when he travels for work. I mean I don’t put anything on credit I don’t have money in the bank to pay off immediately. If we can’t pay cash, we do without, be it windows (they were falling out and shattering on the driveway by the time I’d saved enough to replace them last fall), washing machine, dishwasher, whatever. You’d be amazed how that motivates me to save pennies to purchase what I’m doing without.

    2- We live on a minimal amount parceled out from the previous years earnings. Part of that goes into different accounts, each of which I have subdivided on paper into different savings goals (college, next car, property taxes, gifts, etc).

    3- Years where we get more than that minimal income, I plop the extra into savings by priority (my car is 12 years old and won’t go forever, I still need $6000 to get a new one, so that budget has priority for extra paying-in).

    This works for us.

    I think credit is what gets us all in trouble. If I believed in the devil, I would say credit was definitely his idea.

  10. Eileen A-W says:

    I loved seeing your performance!!! Definitely enjoyed your singing and seeing you act. You looked really good up on that stage.

    I understand the money issue being that I’ve been the main money maker, be it a poor teacher’s salary. My hubby has worked part-time since child #3 was born, but our money has been tight for the 30+ years we’ve been married and the 4 kids we’ve had, 3 of which still live at home, youngest being 20. I wouldn’t change it for all the world, yet at times I wish for a larger house and a chance for some me time. You and Richie will find a way to make it all work and it will conclude in a way that will work for both of you.

  11. You look and sound wonderful! Thanks for sharing.

    I find myself that I’m a creature of habit and routine. When the routine is disrupted, it can take me a while to find my footing with the new “way things are.” You’ve had a lot of big changes disrupting your world. And you’ve got a lot of pressure on you as well. It makes total sense you’d feel disrupted and stressed.

    For me, sewing can really help. It’s a routine I know well and I love making things.

    You look great in the still photo, too — completely impish!

  12. Kieran says:

    Oh, yay!!!!! You were my favorite nun character!!!!! That was so fun. Thanks to Lani and Alastair for putting it together. I hope you keep acting and singing.

  13. Awesome. I needed the clips of you singing, it’s been tense here as well. I hope you keep singing and acting. You looked happy to be there.

  14. Leigh says:

    A “flibberdeedigett?” Heck, that one would have got me every, single time. Well done, Krissie! Lovely voice & great acting.
    pssst: you looked kind of thin in those robes, Kiddo.

  15. Lynda says:

    Hey, Krissie, I hold you personally responsible that my earworm for this week is “How do you solve a problem like Maria?” Keeps going through my head from the moment I wake up. Oh, well, at least it’s a good song. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I adored your performance, of course. I hope this won’t be the last time you appear on stage.

  16. Carol says:

    Upcoming in Sunday’s NYTimes, a profile of Cornelia Guest, daughter of C.Z. Guest and arguably the first “celebutant.” A quote leapt out at me:

    โ€œThe wind hits you hard when your mother dies,โ€ she said. โ€œAnd youโ€™re forced to grow up.โ€

    Thought of you….

  17. Deborah White says:

    Wonderfully done, Krissie. You made an excellent num!

    KatyL, I agree about the camera-work. Also, whenever you go to a play or musical, you will, without fail, have someone over six feet sitting in front of you, or someone with a hat. It is some kind of universal law.

    Krissie, if you can, I think you should find another community theatre event to be a part of. Although it started out even more stressful for you (worrying about your mom and all the things you needed to do), reading about the joy it gave you made me think you should continue to enjoy yourself in this manner.

  18. Ro Heim says:

    Loved the performance.
    You’ve had two big time commitments removed from your schedule. Short term, the play was a huge chunk of time. And, of course, your mother. Now both are completed. Your internal clock hasn’t adjusted yet to all the time that has been freed up. I’m betting there is some element of “I should be doing something, be somewhere,” contributing to the edgy feeling.
    Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.

  19. Krissie — you were wonderful! Not sure if you got all the best lines or if you just played them the best, but you were great. And the singing was just lovely! Brava!

  20. Reb says:

    The last scene made me jump. Great tension.

    And I agree with everyone else, you were great, esp in How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria.

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