Krissie: The Wolf is Out to Lunch

So Jenny started the Good Wolf Lunch, which was perfect for her. We all have our character flaws, and one of Jenny’s worst is her tendency to beat up on herself (she’s made that clear to everyone so I’m not being indiscreet). She’s waaaay too hard on herself, and therefore the Good Wolf/Bad Wolf analogy made a lot of sense. She needs to listen to her Good Wolf and ignore that scroungy bastard.
When she got overwhelmed with stuff she asked me to take over, and I said sure. Only one problem. The analogy doesn’t work for me. I don’t beat up on myself (well, very very seldom). I do keep thinking of things I could have done differently when it came to my mother, but when I look at it clearly I realize that there really wasn’t anything I could do. Things that I could have changed (gotten her into some kind of assisted living) probably would have killed her even sooner. And damn, the woman was one month shy of 98 and still independent. Trying to find guilt is purely self-indulgent.

So each time I try to come up with a Good Wolf/Bad Wolf post I get sort of tangled in the metaphor, and it loses its point. So we’ll leave Good Wolf lunch for whenever Jenny feels so inspired, and on Fridays I’ll talk about whatever I feel like. F’rinstance, how the week has gone.

Which is okay. I’ve gotten some writing done. On Monday and Tuesday I was feeling weepy and anxious — on Wednesday and thursday much more cheerful Part of it was looking at some amigurumi patters for Final Fantasy characters. Because we’re going to Disney World in December (my 65th birthday present to myself) we’re having a really scaled back Christmas. And last year’s presents for Kaim were a huge disaster, and I’ve finally gotten it through my thick head that I shouldn’t buy her presents. She’s changing her name, and we’ve been marginally resistant (feels a little like a rejection of us as parents) but we improved over it so I ended up getting her name stuff. A mug with her new name on it. A new sign for her door (it had said “Kate Street” and I got a new one that said “Kaim Street.” A silver necklace with the new name. And maybe a Christmas ornament with the name.
I thought I was being lovely and assuring her of our total acceptance. (Loud rude buzzer noise). The mug was nice. The rest was stupid, no one wears a necklace with their name on it (yes, in retrospect I realize that but her name was symbolic of her new identity that were were accepting and loving and I thought that was different. Nope.
She’s bitched about silly stuff I’ve put in her stocking in her past, etc. Not much in the Christmas spirit, I’m afraid.
So this year she was getting only gift cards or exactly what she listed at Amazon.
But with the cost of Disney, which is our present to each other (I’m taking everyone — Kaim, Tim, Erin, Alex, me and Richie) then Christmas will be very lowkey and homemade.
But Kaim adores Final Fantasy (and other anime stuff) and I can crochet her amigurumi. Which she might reject as well, but at least I’ll have fun doing it.
It’s kind of a drag, because I really love giving presents, and it’s hard with a child who doesn’t want them and doesn’t seem to understand the spirit of the thing. But c’est la vie. I can also make her fingerless gloves, which she likes, and I’ll make a hat which may or may not be a reject. And that’ll be it.
So looking at the amigurumi photos made me smile. Here are a couple of them:black mage That’s the Black Mage, and he’s fairly easy.
Kaim’s always loved Chocobos, so I thought I’d try this one:
chocobo
And the biggest challenge will be Vincent Valentine, a luscious vampire. Here he is as amigurumi, and here he is from the video game. vincent valentine final fantasy vii - amigurumi pdf pattern crochet-f44283vv

So this makes me happy. I’ve already finished three shawls (got one more to make) and then I’ll start in on other ideas, but in the meantime I’m going to try to think of stuff that cheers me up. After all, the weather is gorgeous, the book’s keeping be emotionally invested, and there’s a baby coming!

Nothing but good times ahead. How’s your week gone? It’s been wretched for people close to me, so I wonder if there’s stuff in the air.
As Florence (of Florence and the Machine) would say, “Shake it out.”

12 thoughts on “Krissie: The Wolf is Out to Lunch

  1. Sharon says:

    Like you, we had problems with gift giving to grown children and their spouses. We would ask-BEG-for lists and then have the hassle of wrapping and boxing it all or, if they came here for the holiday, we had to mail the presents back to their home because of airline regulations. Now, we just give them money. Our daughter is in Italy and our son in New York-we have no idea what they need or want and their lifestyle is so different from ours here in the Midwest.I think the trip sounds like a wonderful idea-ours friends take their family on a cruise every year. Kids are contained, no one has to cook and there is lots to see and do. Don’t worry about the gifts-tell the kids that their presence is your present from them and visa-versa!

  2. I gave up on gifts years ago. I still miss the wrapping and the surprise element, but I sure don’t miss the looks of diappointment when something isn’t right, or doesn’t fit. I’m like Sharon I just write a check, and do one funny or joke gift…because there has to be one thing to unwrap. : )

  3. KAte says:

    The name necklace can function as a space decoration instead of a piece of jewelry. Could be wrapped around a pencil holder, or draped around a monitor corner or put up on a bulletin board. I’m sure pintrest if FULL of ideas about how to repurpose necklaces.
    I LOVE gift giving and receiving. I put a ton of effort into finding appropriate gifts for the people I care about. It shows, people notice and comment on what a good gift giver I am.
    MY inlaws however, are not. Every year they ask us for wish lists. I put a lot of effort into compiling lists so that there are items on them that hit a range of price points, so they don’t have to feel guilty they can’t afford my expensive requests or conversly feel as though I’m pandering with a bunch of cheap stuff. I include specific item requests and general guidelines in my list. Every year we get a bunch of crap that reflects NOTHING on the list. Either they never even bother to look at the lists, or they look at the lists and decide to get us things that are the opposite of what’s on the lists.
    rrrrrrrrrrr I’ve learned not to get my hopes up.

  4. It’s so funny that you quoted Florence–I was just thinking about telling you to listen to that song.

    Christmas at Disney sounds wonderful! Tim and Erin will be thrilled to see Alex thrilled, and you and Richie seem to be kids at heart. I don’t know if Kaim is the kind to embrace Disney, but if she isn’t don’t let it get you down. Some people were born seeing schmaltz where the rest of us see magic. Their loss. 🙂

    Have fun with the amigurumi!

  5. Deborah Blake says:

    My family hasn’t exchanged gifts for years, although some people still gave things to the youngest generation. Since the ones in CA are now 16 and 18, and haven’t wanted anything other than cash or gift cards for years (and never say thank you), I just get them inexpensive gift cards and leave it at that. The “kids” on this coast are now 21, and at least one of them is really into stuff like Manga, cooking, and writing, so I can usually find her a gift–the other one gets a gift card too. Sigh.

    My friends and I tend to exchange gifts, but as we’ve gotten older, it tends to be either handmade items or disposable stuff like bottles of wine and boxes of good chocolate. No complaints here!

  6. Wow. I cannot even imagine showing disappointment over a gift! Ever! (Well, except once when my BFF bought me a sword, but that’s okay, he took it and was happy.) My parents taught us very young to be gracious about all gifts and we were, even in the face of the lousiest gifts in the world from our cheapest (note, not poorest) relatives one xmas.

    Even when my mom and grandma went through a long period of buying me the weirdest stuff from yard sales (and mind you, I often love yard sale gifts, but some things were just kinda “huh?”). We did push each other for wish lists, and we did try to get at least a few things from those lists for each other. And we always said thank you, no matter what. I just cannot imagine any other way. (And we all particularly appreciated handmade gifts!)

    I think it’s wonderful that you are taking everyone to Disney (which is horribly expensive anymore). That’s a wonderful, extravagant, generous gift to yourself and your family!

    Most of this week I was on the Oregon Coast visiting a good friend. I did indulge myself a bit at my favorite boutique, but it’s all useful stuff. Most importantly, I found a cobalt-blue wool beret! This is a big deal. Many years ago, my mom bought me one just like that. I loved it. When I went back to Oregon to take care of my mom a few years ago, I had to leave it to my friends to pack me up, oversee the packers/movers, and oversee my stuff getting moved into storage. Somewhere along the line, stuff went missing. My cookware. Some dishes and flatware. Brooms and mops. And my blue wool beret. I was heartbroken about the beret because I loved it so and because it came from my now departed mom. I’ve looked for a blue beret, but they just weren’t out there. So when I saw the stacks of berets and this blue one, I squealed and snagged it. I don’t even remember the other colors they had, because all I saw was my blue beret. That’s the high point of my week. 🙂

  7. My longtime friends and I have started giving each other the gift of companionship. FREX: birthdays, the celebratee gets to choose a movie and the other pays. Xmas, we get together for lunch, pay our own way, and have a great time catching up and just relaxing. At our ages, we don’t need more STUFF.

    All of my immediate family are adults now, so we have a gift exchange drawing, maximum amount we can spend, and everyone gets one gift for the relative drawn. We do use gift lists.

    As for parents and children, so far I can still think of neat things to get my son and DIL.

  8. Kelly S says:

    In the book, The Five Love Languages, gifts is one of the 5 languages. This would be the giving and getting of gifts equals the giving and getting of love. It can be challenging for those with that mode of speaking love when trying to communicate with a person who speaks a different love language. My language is “Words of affirmation” and my husband’s is “Touch” so he and I hold hands, give and get shoulder rubs, etc. The other two are “Quality time” and “Acts of Service” such as doing the dishes or getting the oil changed in a person’s car. Anyway, with your love of gift giving, perhaps what you’re trying to communicate is love to someone who doesn’t understand that. Try not to be offended.

    As for Christmas, I’m hoping we stop the adult level of gift exchanges. When it means something, “I saw this and thought of you and knew you’d love it!” then okay. But to do it out of obligation and buying things for someone who you don’t really know (distant in-laws), well, the meaning is lost. It becomes and exchange of cash or cash with a limit on where you can spend it aka a gift card. Let’s just enjoy some “quality time” together and some alcohol if relatives are involved. 😉

    As for the hubby and I, since neither of us care much about gifts, we simply buy something for the house. Last year it was a full size freezer.

    With my folks, we now give half of a set amount to a charity on behalf of each other. We have more than we need, it is good to those who don’t have enough. My favorite tends to be to give farm animals to people in 3rd world countries through Heifer. A gift that keeps on giving.

  9. Micki says:

    Gifts really are a tough issue, especially between adults. My husband doesn’t really understand the idea behind “Christmas exchange” — if he sees something within his budget that he wants, he buys it. No waiting until after New Year’s to see if it didn’t show up under the tree.

    And he just buys what I tell him to buy. Which is nice, but not very Christmassy.

    Recently, I’ve really liked the idea of luxury food gifts. I have one relative who adores ham, and there are several companies that will ship luxury apples, pears and oranges to a recipient. I would always appreciate a big bag of Lindt Chocolates (assuming they don’t melt in shipping — global weirding is crazy this year).

    Heck, since I live in Japan, I would be extremely satisfied with my favorite shampoo for Christmas, and maybe some d-ribose tablets. “Shampoo for Christmas!” sounds dumb, but I would love it, and use it for the next three months.

    (-: I remember the year I brought Sapporo beer for Christmas to my in-laws. They were very bemused at the idea of beer for Christmas.

    Yes, love languages come in many, many different flavors, and I am not fluent in many of them. I think “respecting tradition” is the hardest one for me.

  10. Meliss says:

    Disney in December will Christmas you to the max, especially if you’re staying at one of their hotels. Even if you’re not, try to sneak away and check out the gingerbread houses/carousels/villages at the high-end hotels. They’re pretty awesome.

  11. Redwood Kim says:

    Oh, Krissie. To put so much love and effort into choosing such personal gift, only to have the unappreciated seems so painful and frustrating. I’m very glad you let yourself off the hook this year.

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