Krissie: Oooops

I forgot that Mini-me reads here. I share everything with everybody, but for some people it’s definitely TMI, and my sweet little niece doesn’t need to know details about my sex life. I mean, she’s only 44 — she doesn’t know about these things.
Jesus, she’s 44? She used to be a baby! She used to be a skinny, long-legged teenager. What happened?
Well, she still looks like a teenager.
There’s a great song by Sandy Denny (one of my all-time favorite singers) called ‘Who knows where the time goes.” Judy Collins had a famous recording of it, but Sandy’s original has one of the most beautiful vocals I’ve ever heard. You know about phrasing? If not, it’s what Frank Sinatra did beautifully. You’ve got the song as written, and then phrasing is the way you sing it, the slight wait at the beginning of the line and then you catch up, the way you hold certain notes, etc. That’s what Sandy does with that song (she wrote it, btw).
Music’s my second passion. I lived in NYC and worked there simply for the chance to go hear music, and I did. I heard about everyone back in the last 60s and early 70s before I moved up here. In fact it was music that made me move here.
I had gone to hear everyone. Chicago went from the bottom of the bill as Chicago Transit Authority to the top of the bill as Chicago. (BTW I never liked Chicago — they were just always with other people I wanted to see). I saw Sam and Dave, Derek and the Dominoes, Cat Stevens in a tiny coffee house (and in Philharmonic Hall a year later). Creedence, the Kinks, the Stones, Janis, Jimi Hendrix when he was Jimi James and the Blue Flames (before he went to England). I was at the Stones concert in MSG where Ike and Tina Turner opened for them and Janis came out and sang with Tina.
But one night I was in Central Park, listening to the Band, and they sang “Rocking Chair.” The sound floated over the warm night air and I knew I’d seen Ten Years After one time too many.
So I moved to Vermont to write my first book. Did I talk about this before — I don’t remember. Did I tell you how David Carradine saved my life? If not, I will, but that’s for another day.
For today, it’s so freaking gorgeous it could make you weep. Exquisite — the temperature is about 70, there’s not a cloud in the sky. It would be a great day to go for a hike, but I can’t walk. Not sure if it’s warm enough to go in the lake, but I hope so. In the meantime, we’ll work on the house. (Notice how other people do things with friends on Labor Day? We got no one. Richie has his cousins, so maybe he’ll get a little socialization but for me, nada.)
(i just reread this, and realized I forgot about my BFF. Though Sally’s pretty tied up with her new grandson, and she’s only been around about three weeks this year, so it’s easy to forget she’s here right now. So I need to stop feeling so damned sorry for myself.
And now I’m starting to feel edgy and blue and that’s ridiculous. I’m going to bustle and declutter and be busy, and I’m going out in the sun and enjoy the glorious day.
I’ll worry about socialization later. I might even sew. Lots of glorious possibilities, and I’m not in the mood to be depressed. Not on such a beautiful day.
Low-grade depression can be a choice, and I choose to seize the day and be glad in it (how’s that for a mish-mash of ancient Roman and Christian philosophy?).
Because, damn, it’s beautiful outside.

34 thoughts on “Krissie: Oooops

  1. I’ll be there in three weeks; we’ll socialize.
    Also, you just talked dirty with the internet yesterday; possibly it’s a good day to stay home (g).

  2. Kieran says:

    Crying like a baby because I just found out my freshman college roommate died of the breast cancer that finally got her after she’d struggled with it for ten years. Her youngest child is only ten. Why does it always happen at once?

    But I have a book to finish this weekend, and I will do it even though the day is beautiful and I want to go outside and think of Lisa. I can feel her with me now, urging me on. She was such a sweet spirit, but she was also a fighter and intensely passionate. She used to be the Sugar Plum Fairy in Charleston’s production of The Nutcracker. She’d speak her truths so gently and she loved unconditionally. Her toes were always a gnarly mess from those pointe slippers ballerinas wear, and she used to laugh so easily.

  3. Sharon says:

    Yes, that’s what you need to think about-declutter so that when Jenny arrives she will have a place to eat, sleep and sit. Do all your work now so you have free time to be with her!

  4. I had plans to sleep late, then get up and be quietly, slowly, productive. Woke up early with a migraine instead.

    I’m doing okay with the slowly productive, but anyone want to write a 4-6 page synopsis of my novel for an editor for me? Anyone? Bueller?

  5. Ours is also a beautiful day here in the Cali desert. Must exercise before it gets too hot and then knuckle down and write. I wasn’t feeling well and kind of lost a week or two, but I did a lot of reading. That’s positive. : )

  6. Redwood Kim says:

    My oldest is wrestling with this choice right now. I cuddled with her for an hour, but she’s unhappy with the way I’m reading the book, with her little sister participating, with the idea that pancakes can not spontaneously appear, with the suggestion of anythingelse for breakfast. She is my mini-me, and I know the place she is in. But for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to help her get out of it.

  7. Krissie, I love that you chose to seize the day and be glad in it. Good for you!

    It’s beautiful here in the Keys too. I’m about to go out and boost up the storm awnings, remove the extra lines from the boat and clean the pool. After a swim, I’ll work on the class assignment.

    Tonight a young co-worker teaches a high energy line dance class. I think I’ll go for the exercise value. Since losing a good chunk of weight I find great pleasure in movement.

  8. I, too, have no one to socialize with, which is one of my problems with Houston. Everyone is so nice and friendly I figured I’d have good friends in no time. Nope.

    But I won’t obsess over that because I wouldn’t socialize this weekend anyway: I’m sick as a dog since coming home from my trip and my cough has moved into my chest. I’m keeping my fingers crossed it doesn’t become bronchitis or restart my asthma which I haven’t had in nearly 4 years.

    I just wish I had someone to bring me goodies.

    Good for you for choosing to not get depressed and to do stuff and float in the lake instead!

  9. Whenever it is a choice, carpe diem! It’s beautiful here too, and hopefully won’t get too damned hot, and dogs are waiting to go out so off I go, Chief Minion to the beasts that I am.

    Hugs and love you and all!

  10. Hugs to Kieran. Such a tragedy when they go to young. Or really, when they go at all.

    HOT out today but we’re lounging around the house. About to get some words down. I have no socializing either. My cousin and her family live here but for some reason, she stopped contacting me a couple months ago. Who knows what’s going on there. I’ve been spending holidays alone for so long, I don’t even think about it much anymore.

    Enjoy your float. Maybe we’ll go down to the water tonight and stick our toes in the Atlantic. That would be nice.

  11. Kieran – I’m so sorry. I completely sympathize. One of my dear friends died 2 summers ago of breast cancer that she had fought for 5 years. She was only 34 when she died. Broke my heart.

  12. I choose to seize the day, too, Krissie. Still trying to “make fun my bitch” (quoting from an Erin McCarthy book).
    And I’m happy to hear that I’m not the only person who never liked Chicago, the band I mean. The city can be fun.

  13. Naked Under My Clothes says:

    So sorry, Kieran. She sounds like a lovely person.

    I used to kind of freak out about “holiday plans,” too. All the commercials made me feel like my life was boring and inadequate. But through the decades I have come to appreciate that I prefer conversations with one or two others to parties, that I can get social interaction at the grocery store or coffee shop if necessary, and if I want to feel needed, it helps if I do something that’s necessary to someone else. So I volunteer a little.

  14. Lois says:

    Maybe because in my job I have to be social and upbeat, I am becoming more anti-social in the rest of my life. I can’t wait to now have 2 days where I don’t have to see anyone. I can read, catch up on stuff on the DVR, lay in the lake ….The possibilities are endless 🙂

  15. Lois says:

    Kieran, I’m so sorry about your friend. I am so tired of death. Why is it not those that the world would be better without that go early?

  16. Kieran says:

    Thank you so much, everyone! It was such a shock because I found out on Facebook. She lives far away, and her husband, of course, was overwhelmed and didn’t get to tell everyone. And so I was simply astonished to read it online. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was like a bad dream.

    All on her own, my daughter went out and got me this balloon, and i wrote a message to Lisa and sent it off. I had no idea my daughter was filming it–she made it into this little 30-second video clip. It’s funny because it ends so abruptly, but Lisa would have laughed about that. She also would have loved it.

    You never know how hard you can cry until you lose someone you love. You don’t realize what a beast you are–until that happens. And then all pretense is gone.

  17. Thea says:

    Loved, loved the video. Watched it in the spirit of all those I’ve lost recently. Thank you. A small good come of a big bad I know, but still something.

  18. Thea says:

    Spend most holidays alone, and, until reading your post, never occurred to me to notice.

    I too think Chicago rates “meh.”

  19. Kieran says:

    “Come and Find Me” by Josh Ritter. My daughter fell in love with it when she heard it on Six Feet Under. It is so touchingly perfect.

    When I get my book turned in, I’m going back into iMovies, adding still photos of Lisa, and getting more of the song in.

    Thank you, everyone, for showing so much caring.

  20. Micki says:

    Fall is coming . . . that always gives me a low-grade feeling of . . . not dread. There’s probably some German word out there for mourning the goodness of summer while enjoying the fruits of autumn and dreading the cold, long, hard winter. I think your best bet is to carpe diem. (-: I did carpe nap, and now I’m trying to make progress on small tasks while rewarding myself liberally with lazy things like internet or reading. Got one load of laundry done this way . . . will try to get one more done, and then BBQ tonight.

    I love grilling. There’s something so wonderful about sitting in the dark, watching a fire and any stars that come out. It doesn’t really feel like cooking, even.

  21. Kieran,
    Oh, God, I’m so sorry. My carpool partner died of cancer when her youngest was 10. It’s just so cruel and heartbreaking to think of them being left without a mother so young.
    I hope she has good, strong, loving people around her to take care of her now, and I would suggest you start writing down some of your favorite memories of her mother, because I bet someday, she’ll really want to know a lot of those little things about her mother’s life.

  22. Oh, Kieran, I’m late with this, but I’m so sorry about your friend. God bless you, baby…I’m sending you so much sympathy. Keep those good memories of your time with her in the front of your mind and be comforted in them.

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