Krissie: Mindless

The show went well last night, and I got to hug Kate and her daughter (who wasn’t so sure about being hugged by a stranger). I muffed a line … well, Captain Von Trapp muffed a line and I didn’t pick it up, but no one noticed.
And again, I loved it! I enjoy giving talks, and after I’m done I’m similarly jazzed, but I don’t look forward to it as much as I do to this. Probably because I get to be a different person.
Though frankly, Sister Krissie and Anne Stuart aren’t really me, you know. Well, anyone who reads here definitely knows it. That’s the public me, bouncy and charming, without a care in the world. It’s an easy role to slip into.
But I enjoy slipping into Sister Margaretta even more, playing with her lines, singing her songs. It’s just fun.

So the obituaries are done and have run in the newspapers. Here’s the link: http://tinyurl.com/cozff94 Next, figure out the arrangements and time for the graveside service. I suddenly realized that Richie could go and get another quote for the headstone, taking that off my plate. And I asked Cousin Emmie (Sister Sophia) to sound out her sister about hosting the after graveside gathering. Otherwise we can have it here, maybe, or rent a place. I’ll call my niece tonight. Work on the apartment.

Then, starting next week, just balance the writing with clearing the apartment and dealing with the strange sense of loss. Oh, and starting to pay more attention to healthy choices.

I haven’t gone crazy. There was one McDonald’s visit when there was no other choice and I was out of time and devastated. (On my way to the shrink). I was nibbling at the fruitcake at rehearsal yesterday before it hit me that it was a sweet (duh!). Eating too many goldfish because the kids eat them non-stop (it’s the official snack of our production). I bring one of those huge containers every night and they almost disappear. Hungry little Von Trapps.
But I haven’t been eating chips or sweets (I could have had peach cobbler made by Julia Child’s editor and the author of one of the 10 best cookbooks on 2009). I did eat her broccoli and divine pork.
So it won’t be too hard to get back on track. And my clothes are still loose on me, so I couldn’t have done that much damage.
We’ll know on Monday.
I’m being pretty boring, I know. Play and mother stuff, play and mother stuff. But really, that’s all my life is right now.
I loved hearing what you guys are doing. But I think the consensus, and I agree, is we change lives by being who we are. Doing what we do. Maybe that’s why I was surprised by hearing that my mother and sister changed lives. They didn’t set out to change lives or make a difference — they were both too wounded and self-protective to look outside themselves. But for a while Taffy worked the program (AA) and worked it well. And my mother, in passing on her writing knowledge, made a huge difference that she hadn’t expected to make.
So I guess we have to keep on being who we are, but remembering kindness and attention to others makes the world a better place. It’s probably up to the other people to change their own lives, take what they can from you and others.
Okay, that’s my great thought for the day. Now off to my mother’s to be depressed. I think I’ll play an audiobook to keep me distracted.

19 thoughts on “Krissie: Mindless

  1. oneoftheotherjennifers says:

    We are not here to be entertained. You don’t need to worry about being entertaining. I don’t know why anyone else is here, but I’m here to take inspiration or reassurance from the journey of others. You are especially great at sharing your journey. Thank you.

  2. Tracey says:

    What oneofthejennifers said — you aren’t here to entertain us; you (and yr mom and yr sister, and everyone else) inspire by soldiering on thru the vulnerability and the pain. And, per the discussion yesterday, I question trying to change lives by setting out to change lives. Be yourself, do what you can, walk the walk (what other clichรฉs can I hit), and hope for the best. I’m glad you had fun doing the play; I’m glad you didn’t quit after your mom’s passing. I applaud you clearing out her apartment — my husband and I cleared my mom’s condo, sent the keepers up to our home in MD, and shoved the 20+ boxes into our crawl space, where they sat for 14 yrs before I cleared them out (selling stuff on eBay). Even 14 yrs later, it’s really painful.

  3. Barbara Cameron says:

    I agree with OneoftheotherJennifers. I’m here to be inspired or reassured … or learn … from the journey. Too many people just want to drift and complain about life instead of doing something good with it. My ex once told our marriage counselor that he was like the coffee table in front of him: he couldn’t change. Before I could stop myself I blurted out that he was saying he was a block of wood that couldn’t be changed. I never spoke up like that (at the time) but the counselor said it was good because it showed us all a big problem area. I didn’t want to be a coffee table. I wanted to change to make my marriage and my life better.

    You never bore. You’re going through some things with your mom that we can all relate to. By the way, my parents were both not parent material and were very self-centered and neglectful when I was growing up. But both held onto doing something they enjoyed doing (Dad, painting, Mom, flower design) and that showed me not to be one of those selfless martyr parents later who are so hard to be around. I value my independence above all else in my life and know I wouldn’t be the same person without having had those two parent me.

  4. Lulu says:

    Weekend next I am going to visit my dad & stepmom who are refusing to make any changes, in spite of her stroke and his recent fall/broken arm/diagnosis of early stage dementia and Alzheimer’s (she’s 79, he’s 84 & outlived his parents and older brother by 30+ years). My siblings who live closer to them have been great at helping them, but they need more care than we can do. We’re all grieving already, I think, for the loss of our parents (our mom’s been gone for over 30 years). It’s just so damn hard dealing with loss on top of all the daily complications of our inherently messy lives.

    Hang in there, Krissie, we’ll all muddle along with you and find entertainment where we can – you don’t have to provide that for us too! And I’ll try to remember, as you said, “kindness and attention to others makes the world a better place.” I’m all for a better place!

  5. Cleaning out a home is such hard work and so difficult physically and emotionally. After Mom died, my brother and I needed to go through the family home — all 7600 square feet of it. I went into the closet of my old bedroom and found college papers. Why the hell did I still have a paper on Othello — one on which I didn’t even get a particularly good grade? I determined that we’d been a smallish family living in a large house and there was always another closet to shove a box into.

    It took us weeks to throw out stuff that wasn’t worth keeping and sort out what each of us wanted to hold onto before we turned the rest over to the estate sale women.

    There were some things that I have in my home that I will treasure forever. Then there’s the large Persian rug on which I’ve been paying an annual storage fee for 13 years. I also dreamed that I’d one day have a home with a living room big enough for this rug. Since I have no plans to move out of my current house, that’s not going to happen.

    Anybody know a good, reputable dealer who resells beautiful, quality, Persian rugs? It’s about 40 years old.

    Krissie, you’re having so much fun with TSOM that I hope you continue to act. Maybe the company will consider doing Nunsense!

    • jinx says:

      On the Persian rug, first find somebody knowledgeable who can tell you what kind of Persian rug you have, and how it would be described by someone knowledgeable. That would include, at a minimum, a region or sometimes a town or tribal name, as well as information on the type & condition of the border and the fringing on both ends. Then you can do some searching online to get a sense of what people are selling them for. Age, condition, density of knotting and place of origin are all important variables in addition to design aspects like colors and/or patterns.

      After that, you can consider what it would be like to do some rehab within your house to enlarge the floor space to fit a rug like the one it sounds like you want to keep. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Well the rug is stored at an expert establishment but they’ve been strangely unhelpful. I’ll try to find someone else but it’s all long distance.

        Unfortunately, the only way I could fit the rug in my house would be if I knocked out two exterior walls.

        Thank you for sharing some of the info I’ll need to find out!

        • jinx says:

          I’ve seen Persian carpets installed in a way that goes from a floor partway up a wall. If you tack one edge onto a thin piece of wood, then fasten that to your vertical surface, it could work.

          Well, unless you have sundry things like doorways or electrical outlets behind it. But who needs those, anyway?

        • Jessie says:

          If the rug is only 40 years old, it is not antique so we are not talking a collector’s piece likely. But if it came from a dealer it might not have been new even though it was new to the family so you may not have a true idea of it’s real age. Is it machine made or hand made? Machine made may not be worth too much. But it would depend on other factors too.

          The easiest way to find market value is to (1) Go to a place that sells Persian carpets and see if they sell on consignment and ask what they think you can get for it. If it seems like a goodly amount of money then (2) go to an auction house that specializes in antiques. And pay attention when you take it in. If the clerk says “that’s a nice xxxx” repeat the name and ask why he thinks so (This gives you a starting name to go to rug books and on ebay). See what they estimate they can get for you. Put a minimum on it so that some one doesn’t walk off with it for $100 (it happens – lots of people don’t have room for large rugs). You will get less money from auction unless it is collectible because the dealer’s commission can be up to 50 percent (He has overheads – this is not unreasonable and it may take forever to sell it). If the dealer offers to buy it from you think about it after you have done your research. If he offers you a couple hundred, he probably expects to get 3 or 4 times that.

          True story but kind of a shaggy dog story so you can skip this. I bought a rug at an antique store for $200. I took it in to be cleaned. They asked me where I got it and offered to buy it from me for $100 more than I paid for it. I said no (I liked the rug and I thought I got a good deal). The rug had some damage so after cleaning I took it to a dealer who specialized who asked it’s provenance and told me it would cost $400 to have it rewoven where it was damage (reasonable I’ve had this kind of work done before) but he would give me my purchase price plus $1,000 if I wanted to sell it. I said no. I like the rug. The dealer then said he would probably appraise it for $3,500. I have since found a similar one on ebay that the seller wants $9,000 for. The thing is this seller has had it on ebay for months and it has not sold at this price. If I really wanted to sell it and didn’t need the money instantly, I would sell it on consignment through my dealer and try to get to him ask about 5,000 for it. Then I would get about 2,500. But I like the rug and I can’t really justify buying a rug for that kind of money but for the $600 I paid, I am perfectly happy.

  6. JenniferNennifer says:

    While clearing out my mother’s house, I turned to my darling niece (most likely to end up clearing out mine) and said “When you find something I have apparently treasured that means nothing to you, GET RID OF IT!” She said it would be hard, I said that’s why I am telling you now.

    That’s my only advice: don’t feel bad about anything you get rid of.

  7. I loved The Sound of Music! Krissie does a fabulous job and has the best lines in the show! I wrote a review for Krissie but I’m not sure where she’s putting it up. Can you post the link, Krissie?

    I got the best hug ever.

    • When she wrote, “And I got to hug Kate,” I thought…OUR Kate? And yes, it was! Speaking as someone who has gotten to hug Kate too, it is always a good thing ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m so jealous you got to see the play!

  8. Reb says:

    Like everyone else, I’m here to be inspired, not entertained, though mostly it’s entertaining too.

    But Krissie, I’m mainly here because now I care about you and the other refabbers. I really appreciate this community.

  9. When we cleaned my beloved grandmother’s house out, prior to moving her out to CA (from NY, and the house she’d lived in for over 60 years), I took a cool twisted stick her brother had found and turned into a walking stick, and a few more pieces of her weaving.

    Then, when she died a year and a half ago, my mother said, “We have the steamer truck her parents brought over from Russia with them when we came, and you have the only house in the family it would go in.” Which was true, because everyone else is polished and modern, and I am old and funky ๐Ÿ™‚ Well, and the house is, too.

    I also got her spinning wheel, and a chair that she’d woven the covering for. Other than that, there was nothing I really wanted. I just wanted her, of course.

  10. Micki says:

    (-: I like the entertaining aspect personally, and I never go away disappointed. No pressure or anything. Just saying.

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