Crap. I’m having trouble uploading photos on this computer and I’m damned if I’m going to spend ages battling with it (I’m in my office this morning on the regular Macbook, whose name is BabyJenny because Mini-Me talked me into buying it over a netbook).
So yesterday was a Fail. But it was an okay Fail, I guess. My BFF has screwed up her back royally, so I thought I’d go over and work there while she did her sewing (we’ve written together with great success in the past). But instead we talked, and I didn’t get much done. And then I got home and for some reason I didn’t get anything done at the house either. I think it’s because it’s so overwhelming. At least I managed the food okay.
I think the food and weight thing is doable because it’s no longer overwhelming. I’ve made solid progress that I can see (and it helps that everyone else can see it now, too). I know what to do, what to avoid (fried foods and Fast Food and sugar and white flour) and what I should wallow in (veggies). I’m solidly on the road there, and I’m starting back swimming in a couple of weeks.
But the house is making me insane. Totally. And I can’t move anything anywhere. There’s no place, and they haven’t brought back the dumpster. I feel absolutely frozen, not knowing where to turn. I have all this stuff I want to sell on eBay and I can’t get started on it, I have an idea where to hang some of the pictures I brought from my mother’s place, but all this other stuff is just lunking around (family term). And I can’t move. I’m going over to Montpelier to buy a hutch I saw in Craigs list (cheap) to put some of the stuff in, except I don’t know where there’s room to put the fucking hutch.
Plus there’s all there’s all this stuff I have to do. I have to drop by Earl Coolbeth and pay him the rest of the money for the headstone. I have to call the Lutheran minister in Princeton to see if he can do my mother’s service. Hmmmm. Maybe it’s not that much stuff after all, though the minister thing is fairly huge.
And I have to write. I have to. Both for my mental health and my finances. And everything always seems to get in the way.
Of course, my son’s still around (though we haven’t seen him much), and things seem to be up and down with Erin, and while I’m doing my best to detach that’s probably making me anxious. In fact, that was probably a lot of my anxiety last week. He’s leaving tomorrow, at least for a while, but then Richie’s sister is arriving and that brings its own set of anxiety, frustration and worry.
I think I’ll just bang my head bloody against a wall.
LOL. now the image worked. Crazy time, I tell you. I need a tv show to come in and move everything out on the lawn, hold the mother of all lawn sales and then take everything else away. (Love that show). But failing that, it’s up to me. And I don’t know where to start.