Krissie: Back to the Dark Place

Photo on 2013-11-01 at 09.28 No, it’s not the emotional dark place, it’s the rain and month with least sunshine place. Gloom and doom abound.
The drive home was a piece of cake, though I felt sleepy. My stomach’s wonky (not sure why) so I’m being very careful about what I eat and eating a lot less than usual. It’s like my gall bladder’s acting up but I no longer have a gall bladder.
Shrug. I’ve been too self-indulgent anyway.
So. Today I write. Tomorrow I write. I’m more than halfway through the book with two weeks to go — even though I wrote steadily I still got into this mess. I always do. My books want to be finished in a white hot blaze. Sometimes that blaze comes on me at the very beginning of a book and soars all the way through. The few, rare, precious times.
Mostly it’s hard work.
You know, it’s hard when your heart is torn in two places, I want to be in NJ and I want to be here. If/when we move it’ll be three places.
But I’m not going to worry about that. I’m going to go deal with the wicked Viscount, get him married off in a marriage on honor if not convenience, and see what happens.
There certainly could be worse jobs in this world. I really am blessed.
No good wolf bad wolf today. I think the Bad Wolf is busy eating Jenny’s liver, telling her she should be writing, telling her she should be doing this and doing that.
The good wolf came with me, and I’m sorry about that. I’ll try to send him back.

7 thoughts on “Krissie: Back to the Dark Place

  1. It does seem the bad wolf has a liking for Jenny’s liver, doesn’t it. Ignore the bad wolf Jenny, and do what your heart wants to do. I know, I know, money, responsibility, all the shoulds in the world. But sometimes when you follow your heart things turn out in ways you couldn’t imagine.

    I know what you mean about having a torn heart, Krissie. I want to be here(even though, or maybe especially because, the wind is howling and the rain is lashing the windows), I want to be in California with my family (what’s left of them), I want to be in the British Isles where I feel the history in my bones and everyone speaks with such lovely accents.

    I have a job interview today. I’m not sure if I should want this job or not. It’s part-time. Evenings into early morning. I’d not have to deal with home life in the evenings three days a week. It would be quiet at work. But I’m also quite likely to fall asleep and die on the way home at 2:30am. Also, I don’t want a job. I want to stay home and piddle around with my writing. Ah well. I’m not very practical.

  2. Glad you made it home safe and sound. And yes, I did hear some wailing last night. I think you’d best put the good wolf in a box and call UPS for a pick up. : )

    Me, I’m in galleys and piddling around like I have all of the time in the world. Must get this done today. I think Halloween and all of the candy did something to my brain. An overabundance of good wolf, perhaps. I need some bad wolf to balance things and get me back on track.

  3. I miss you already, so that’s Bad Wolf, but the rest is just a never ending list of this-should-have-been-done-yesterday. I can see again now so that’s a plus and I have a working laptop that won’t lose my work so that’s another plus. I’m going out to get Diet Coke and bread and then go back to work. Eventually, all of this will be done.

    Don’t move a third place. I’ll never see you again.

  4. I’m in the Dark Place weather-wise too, because it is Autumn in Seattle. (To be followed by Winter in Seattle where it just gets Darker.) This morning, the gray is a bit lighter, which is nice. But mostly, even though it hasn’t been raining, the sky is simply gray and flat. Sigh. I have a light box. Currently I also have housemates, a fluffy cat, and a gas fireplace, surrounded by lots of windows, so I’m doing okay for now.

    I fed the Good Wolf today by doing a great visualization using a technique my therapist described to me. I’ll keep doing that, as well as the various networking and job hunting stuff, and then I will achieve the life (first, job and apartment) I want (and then on to other things).

  5. Kelly S says:

    Happy you made it home safe and sound. Try to pace yourself if you can as you finish the book. Don’t worry about us. If you disappear for the next two weeks, we know where your at.

    Jenny – so happy you can see again and have a new laptop! Good news.

    I’m planning on indulging this weekend with a bunch of quilting & reading. The cats may have other plans for me, though. Then Monday I’ll start being a responsible adult again.

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