Jenny: Wolf Minions

So far 2013 has been such a vast improvement over 2012 that I’m giddy with happiness and my good wolf is munching away every day, getting stronger by the minute.  Which doesn’t mean the bad wolf isn’t out there.  Sometimes he sends minions to serve up a picnic in hell.


A friend told me something a friend of hers had said about me: “He thinks you have a black heart.”  She thought it was funny, and after some reflection I did, too, but just for a moment, I thought, “Do I?”  The thing is, I don’t.  I have many, many flaws which I will not list here because I’m not feeding that damn bad wolf, but I have a good soul.  Take a swing at me and you’ll pull back a bloody stump, but in general, I’m fairly good-hearted, definitely not dark and evil.  Which made me ask myself, why did that bother me, even for a minute?

I think it’s because we all feed the bad wolf instinctively while it takes effort to feed the good wolf.  Our basest desires, our darkest fears, the bad wolf feasts on the things our ids spread out for him like that picnic in hell.  But for the good wolf, we have to take the time to shop for the ingredients, mix them together, heat them up and serve them to ourselves with love.  We don’t do it instinctively the way we constantly toss scraps of ourselves to the bad wolf.  So anybody who trips our instincts becomes a bad wolf minion.  And I have to tell you, from now on, those minions are going DOWN.

In this particular minion’s defense, he didn’t say that to me, so I’m cutting him a lot of slack.  God knows I’ve said far worse about him and did so again after the black heart crack.  So the real minion here is me: I’m the one who let the id in.  That’s my thought for today: Don’t let the bad wolf minions in, even when they’re you.  Maybe especially when they’re you.

So now to the good wolf: I love New Jersey.  Smartest thing I ever did was moving here.  I love the landscape, I love the people, I love my little cottage which should be move-in-able next week (although nowhere near finished), I love being close to Krissie and Pat and (by summer) Lani, not to mention my daughter and her beautiful family.  Just being here is feeding my good wolf every day, obliterating the banquet of depression and guilt I was feeding the bad wolf in Ohio.

So even when the semi-bad or at least tension-making stuff hit this week, it turned out to be wonderful.  The back fell off my car and for a moment I thought, “Damn it, and things were going so well,” but when I took it to the Toyota dealer here, they ordered the part, it came in the next day, they fixed it for $65 and washed the car to boot.  I love my new Toyota dealer, especially since the Ohio dealer had quoted me double the price to fix it.

Then I went to my new retinologist, which was tense-making.  I wasn’t crazy about my retinologist in Ohio, but he was saving my sight and that’s all that mattered.  So Krissie (wonderful sister) drove me to the doctor’s in Hackettstown which is semi-hell-and-gone from where I live, but if you need a retinologist, you go to where the retinolgist is, it’s not like they grow on trees.  And the office is kind of old and dumpy, but the staff is friendly and on top of things, so I’m handling it pretty well.  I’m assuming the shot will be as mostly-painless as the ones in Ohio, but it’s new so fingers crossed.  Then the doctor comes in: he’s young, he’s in a good suit, he’s brisk but not dismissive, he gives me a shot that is completely painless and never develops the ache I got before, and he tells me that while I do have dry AMD in my left eye and wet AMD in my right, I’m doing well, and I don’t have to come back for another shot for six weeks.

I love my new retinologist.  He’s a good wolf minion.

Then he noticed my crochet in my bag and said something about that being harder with compromised sight, and I told him I was learning to do it by feel so that when I lost my vision, I could still crochet.  And he said, very swiftly and very firmly, “No.  In 2013, with aggressive treatment, you will never lose your sight.”

I made it outside before I started crying. I know he may be too optimistic, but god bless him for it.   I still haven’t completely wrapped my mind around it, I’ve been so fixated on planning for blindness, but just having that weight lifted turned everything around.  Have I mentioned how much I love my new retinologist?  I even told him so because his good wolf can use a cookie, too, although he looked like his good wolf was  healthy as hell already.  My sight isn’t what it used to be, but if what I’ve got is going to stick around, that’s all I need.   Have a cookie, good wolf, nothing but good times ahead.

So those are my good wolf stories for this week: dark heart, bright future.

What did you feed your good wolf this week?

85 thoughts on “Jenny: Wolf Minions

  1. Sharon S. says:

    Congratulations! I’m so happy for you, Jenny. We all need to feed the good wolf.

    I had been going through a very hard time, lots of pain due to Tendonosis in my right thigh. Very painful. Lost of depression, you know the kind that keeps you indoors with lock doors and windows. Finally called the doctor and was put on antidepressants. But before that, my cousin-in-law decided it was the perfect time to stop by to tell me what a terrible friend I had been to her. She prefaced it with “This probably isn’t the right time, but I have to say…” Ya think??? Now I’m back to myself and remember who brought in the bad wolf. Saw my therapist and I am working on saying thank you when I get a compliment. i.e. “nice top”…then I say, “Oh, this old thing?” So now I just say thank you and leave it at that.

    I’ve been feeding my good wolf lots of kudos and ignoring the bad wolf. Thank you for the Feed the Wolf Fridays. I love it.

    You are a gem. Fridays are good.

  2. I fed my good wolf by accepting my friends’ invitation to move in with them until I find a job and a place to live in Seattle. My lease runs out at the end of March, so I will move to Seattle and in with them at that time, if I haven’t found work before then. I’ll be living out of suitcases, but I’ll be with friends and close to other friends and I’ll be able to more effectively network and look for work. My bad wolf told me it was a failure to move in with them because I wasn’t being entirely independent. My therapist told me it was a superb idea and it was loving and supportive of my friends. And we managed to coax my good wolf into understanding that. Having some of my friends agree that it is a good way to go helped feed my good wolf also.

    I’m so happy to hear what your retinologist said about your eyesight! I love him too!

  3. Bless your retinologist!! And it’s ok to hope a little. After so long of thinking that your sight is going, you’re stuck in “realist” and “practical” mode. Keep doing that an you become a pessimist and that might feed the bad wolf for you.

    Can I give you bright side? The wet AMD made you get your ass into gear and MOVE. Big deal, that. And you’re living in the now…or trying to. And showing us how its done…or trying to. Bigger deal, that. NOTHING BUT GOOD TIMES NOW.

  4. Kim G. says:

    Ah, Jenny. I cried while reading this. There is a reason that you ended up in NJ–to see this amazing doctor. I’m glad that you have a lot more hope now. The universe moves in ways that we don’t always understand. I truly believe that the reason that I was laid off in the past was so that I could end up back in CA and finally get a diagnosis of Lyme Disease after years of struggle.

    You have so inspired me by your “Come to the Goddess” message that I am changing my life too. I’m feeding my good wolf this week by feeding myself good food. I’m finally coming out of the Lyme-induced haze and am willing to take the steps to reclaim my life. This means eating the right foods to increase my strength and mobility and to decrease my weight. So tonight, I’m making huge pots of white chili and vegetable beef soup that I can freeze as my go-to-meals. I can’t eat out because of all of the remaining food sensitivities, but that doesn’t mean that I have to reach for the convenient foods that are bad for me.

    • AuntieJB says:

      Having a freezer stash of food has been my savior as well. I need to get down to business this weekend and restock my soup supply…

  5. oneoftheotherjennifers says:

    Weepy, so happy for you!

    I fed my good wolf so much this week he is bloated, lying at my feet in a blissful, gorged stupor. It would take a book to tell you all the ways he’s been fed this week.

    Also, I have had no fear. None. No idea why. The mind is a strange thing.

    I LOVE Turin. LOVE IT HERE. Five months may not be enough.

    • Micki says:

      Anticipation can be the greatest thing in life, and it can be the scariest thing in life! So glad to hear you love it there. (-: It’s Italy!

  6. Absolutely the best news, Jenny. And well done to the new retinologist. Crochet kismet I think;)

    I don’t think he’s just being optimistic either. My eye doctor tells me all the time that much progress really has been made in treatments for lots of eye issues.

    And thanks for starting this “good wolf Fridays” thing–reading everyone’s news is a fab way to kick off weekends. Definitely counts as care & feeding of good wolves everywhere.

  7. Thanks for spreading the news about New Jersey. I’m in your neck of the woods and it IS lovely here. We DO have outstanding medical care, plus art and theatre and farm stands and flea markets! FYI, Centenary College in Hackettstown has a great theater attached to their college…well, you’ll find all this out on your own because you are adventurous and brave!

    This week I exercised every day, finished a bunch of mini-projects, and told myself more than once I’m pretty fucking awesome. More importantly, I deliberately ignored the voice reminding me of what I didn’t accomplish. Good job, Wolfie.

  8. Karen says:

    Jenny, I’m so happy for you I’m crying. I know that makes no sense but there it is. Congratulations. I don’t believe for one second your dr. is being overly optimistic he’s simply good. The closer you are to a big city, and NYC is one of of the biggest, the better health care you usually get. Nothing but good times ahead indeed.

  9. Maine Betty says:

    Wow, I think I’m in love with your doctor. This is all such good news.

    An aspect of our good wolf and our bad wolf, they’re both WOLVES. Not hamsters. So, either way, they are powerful wild creatures. If someone has a problem with your heart, they may just not be thinking big enough.

  10. Danielle says:

    “No. In 2013, with aggressive treatment, you will never lose your sight.”

    Jesus. You have me crying at my desk at work. In front of other people. Curse you.

  11. I teared up with this news. Abolutely wonderful! I say take his wise words and stay positive. Do everything possible to prove him correct, nice doctor wolf that he is!

    I’ve fed my good wolf this week by learning things I always thought were too difficult. That kicked the bad wolf’s butt.

    Hope I’m not being rude here, but Yay!!! My books went live on Kindle last night and I can’t shut up talking about them. If anyone wants info, click on my name above. It will direct you to my website, and links. ; )

    And now…back to the wolves!

  12. Hellion says:

    What a good wolf minion that doctor is. I want to send him cookies now.

    And yes, I notice it’s like breathing air to feed the bad wolf, but a LOT MORE EFFORT to feed the good one. I assume it’s because none of us appreciate anything unless we felt we “earned” it and that’s the reason we have to work harder at it. So we appreciate our good wolves more.

  13. AuntieJB says:

    Based on the number of teary messages above I’d say your good wolf as had a great week.

    My bad wolf has been yammering non-stop this week. I’m blaming it on the full moon coming on Sunday.

    I fed my good wolf by skipping choir practice this week and having a quiet night at home with the lights low and the television off. The bad wolf, however, has been berating me ever since telling me that I’m not good enough for this choir and that all the members and the director don’t like me. My bad wolf needs a kick in the keister.

    I’m so happy for you Jenny, I don’t know how to express it adequately in this message. Have a wonderful weekend.

      • Rachel V says:

        I was there this July, and it was hotter than HELL-ha ha ha-couldn’t resist!
        But really, those rock formation there were very interesting. I need to get those pictures developed…

  14. Hellion says:

    Oh, the QUESTION. Duh. I’m not sure I did. Oh, wait, I did. This has been a stressful week at work, and on Wednesday when I was supposed to go to my Weight Watchers meeting, I had just got done listening to a coworker’s Bad Wolf Story–because she seriously needed someone to listen to this so she could figure it out–and I shared her burden of her bad wolf. I didn’t mind at all, but by the time I got to my car, I was like, “I do not want to go to a meeting and feel bad about my weight, my eating habits, and clap for other people. I just don’t.” So I decided to go by the store and get some chocolate milk (since that makes everything better, right?) but as I was going, I saw my favorite bookstore and said, “What the hell–” and pulled in.

    I shopped a bit and chatted with the owner who told me several good wolf stories that alleviated the bad wolf stuff…so I think the Universe was helping with that one. Plus I got a bunch of great books to keep me occupied to also feed my good wolf. Oh, and I also got my chocolate milk.

    Tonight I’m feeding my good wolf with a massage and a magazine. 🙂

  15. No editing this week, so I’m designing my new website. I love designing things: and I’m good at it, too. And websites are quite similar to complex illustrated books, which are what I used to create when I worked in-house in publishing. This bit is lots of fun – playing with ideas and layouts. Creating an enticing world for people to visit, hopefully. Good wolf happy.

    Brilliant about your eyesight, Jenny.

  16. Kieran says:

    How wonderful. I fell in love with that doctor after you said he told you the best news in the world so firmly. If he’d been my doctor, I might have wanted to take his clothes off. I wouldn’t have–because I’m married. But still. It would have crossed my mind.

    I do love New Jersey. Those diners can’t be beat. And the people are awesome.

    Congratulations, Jenny!!!


  17. Wonderful, wonderful news from the retinologist! Congratulations.

    And New Jersey is lovely. I live in Colorado but I grew up in Jersey. Beautiful! And great arts. NYC a hop and a skip for one but I also remember my parents taking me to the Paper Mill Playhouse. The first play I ever saw was the Merry Widow and I was wonder-struck. I can still hear the Merry Widow’s Waltz in my head. But I also saw Fiddler on the Roof and Man of La Mancha and so many others. I don’t know why NJ has such a bad rap. It’s a wonderful place to live.

  18. Oh, on the Good Wolf front. I’m continuing to pull out miniature tops that have been sitting around and getting them quilted. It’s been great. The semester has started and it looks like I have good classes — students are talking and that makes it better for everybody.

  19. I am so happy for you!!! I love that this move has been so positive and you’ll be in the cottage soon. Can’t wait to see what you do with the place. (I’m assuming there will be pics. Please say there will be pics!)

    I fed my good wolf by starting yoga for the first time. Found a DVD aimed at relieving back pain and I’ve vowed to do it every other night. So far, so good. And I can feel a difference already. Slight, but it’s there.

    Bad wolf is trying to be a butt and tell me I’ll never make this deadline, but I’m fighting back. Or will when I actually sit down and make a plan of attack. Hoping the initial read through will bring out the good wolf and we shall read (and enjoy) together.

  20. Jennifer.nennifer says:

    I love your doctor too – are you going to tell him he now has a fan club?

    Lots of wolf food, I am taking credit for finding and hiring a great person for the non-profit I help, and I did some good training with her.

    Much synchronicity, even in “bad” things, my car battery died, but it happened a day that my husband could pick me up from work, my sister could drop me off the next morning, my friend could come and give me a jump, and the mechanic could get me in right away – and all during a slow time at work! In a spirit of “Yes, and….” it was an adventure of pleasant coincidence.

  21. Happy, happy, happy for you!

    This week has been a sleep deprived whirl. Why am I not allowed a full night’s sleep? Last night’s fun was going to the bathroom at ten till four am only to see my cat come streaking out of the bedroom away from me. Shining my flashlight in to see what was going on I found out he had puked all over my sheets. Lights! Action! And I was tearing my heavily covered winter bed apart trying to get the sheets up before the puke soaked into the mattress. Which didn’t do good things for the rest of the sleeping household. But this whirl has been my whole week. One thing after another.

    So does being pissed feed the bad wolf???

    The only things I can come up with that I did for me was to watch some “Murder, She Wrote” for stress relief. And spent A LOT of time cruising (I have a gift card.)

  22. NancyF says:

    Never mind cookies, give the good wolf a steak! Unless he is a vegetarian good wolf, then toss him a Tofurkey.
    Great news.
    I am taking your advice about only feeding the good wolf as well. No major troubles here, but the bad wolf can magnify small worries, the good wolf keeps life in proper perspective.
    Nothing but good times ahead!

  23. I’m joining the teary-because-I’m-thrilled brigade. And also cheering for the Good Wolf of Medical Stuff, who clearly likes hanging out with you!

    My Bad Wolf has been yipping away since I took Angus to the vet yesterday, but all his test results are good except his liver. And my Good Wolf is asserting that his liver isn’t that bad, he just ate something random-bad off the sidewalk in the dark and in a week or two it’ll be fine. Good Wolf also explained to me that I was purposely sabotaging myself, hurting myself, by not taking my fracking meds on time every night. I don’t want to keep hurting myself, so there ya go – reframed in such a way that I have no desire to rebel against it. My Bad Wolf is truly a rebel without a cause, so it’s a biggie to realize that I’m actively hurting myself when I’m not taking proper care of mind/body/spirit. Much prefer what happens when Good Wolf reigns supreme.

  24. Jessie says:

    My good wolf is feeling very self satisfied. The pile of top soil in the back yard that has been lurking and waiting to be distributed on my flower bed is no more. Yesterday the weather was over 40 and not raining. And I decided to move just a little – until I was tired. Well, I moved it all plus I did some clean up of the flower beds. It looks great!

    And this morning when I got up, I felt fine. No more residual pain in my stomach from the radiation and I am totally recovered from the stomach flue from last week.

    And I loaded up the stuff to go to Goodwill and I am taking that in this morning.

    Nothing but good times ahead.

  25. JulieB/Julie Spahn says:

    I didn’t even make it to the top of the next paragraph before I started crying. I’ve never heard of a retinologist. I’ve been feeding the wolf today, but I’m going to research _right now_.


  26. merrymac says:

    I’m so glad for you and, by association, all the people who love you. This is the best news. I’ve done fairly well by Good Wolf this week. I think she smiled a couple of times.

  27. Office Wench Cherry says:

    I fed the good wolf by not only deciding that I couldn’t do another winter of this drive but by telling Tall Boy how bad it really was. He was a little surprised that I wasn’t handling it as well as he thought I was but, really, what’s the point in complaining about something you can’t do anything about. That just leads to wallowing and resentment. And I hate complaining about my job since his is so unsatisfying at the moment. He’d dearly love to quit and go to another company but with his health issues he can’t. It’s not the medical insurance we’re worried about since we live in Canada but the things like life and disability insurance, not to mention short and long term disability payments from work.

    Our internet is down at work so I’m working on my desk manual, basically a step-by-step account of how to do my job. The one thing I can do on paper. It’s now three hours later and we have internet. What a productive work day. I’m being paid so that’s okay.

    • Office Wench Cherry says:

      And Yay!!! for the good news from the retinologist. My maternal grandpa lost his sight to a detached retina and then MD in the other eye. To know that there are treatments and that you’re getting such wonderful care is a good feeling. At risk of being sappy, knowing you’re going to pretty much always get to see those grandbabies of yours makes this grandbaby very, very happy. Oh great, now I’m crying too. At least my door is closed.

  28. carolc says:

    Yay for the good wolf doc!! And you do NOT have a dark heart, Jenny. Your heart is huge and generous and determined and oh so brave.

    I do not believe that the bad wolf is an instinctive part of us. I think it is something we learn as children, especially women. It’s that sneaky, subtle whispering voice that our society feeds us, saying that we are never good enough. Our bad wolf is an alien, an invader, and doesn’t belong in our lives.

    As for my good wolf, I am still fighting the bad wolf. I am not giving up, I am not giving in, and I think that is vitally important. And on top of that, I worked on my writing every day this last week. *cartwheels* On to next week! Nothing but good times ahead!

  29. RanchGirl says:

    Absolutely great news from the retinologist! And I think a fan club would be most approporiate. He needs to understand how important you are to us!

    My bad wolf issue came on Wednesday. I had to make the final decision for my old mare. She was failing quickly, to the point that I was afraid she would fall and not ever be able to get up. So I called my vet and then my sweet husband took things from there. My bad wolf tried to make me feel guilty, but the good wolf just talked over him and reminded me that I had been a good horse mom for 25 years, I had done everything possible for her and it was time to let her go.

    A lot of pain and loss, but I decided I would never want to be the kind of person who could make that decision and not hurt.

    • Librarian Betty says:

      Oh, Ranch Girl, I am so sorry. Of course you hurt. You love her and you did the best you could for her. It’s an awful decision to have to make but you made it with all the love in your heart for her. You are an EXCELLENT horse mom.

    • Office Wench Cherry says:

      You were a good horse mom and when she really needed you to be good, to do what was right for her and not be selfish just because you were afraid of the pain, you did it. Your bad wolf can just shut the hell up, the last thing you need is useless guilt on top of grief. {hugs}

    • Anjemon says:

      I’m sorry, that very much sucks. But I agree that you shouldn’t feel bad. That decision will always hurt, but you showered your mare with love and I’m sure she had a long and happy life.

    • Deborah Blake says:

      Hugs,, Ranch Girl. I had to make that tough decision for numerous cats over the years, and truly, the only ones I really regretted were the times I waited too long, because I couldn’t bear to let go.

      You did what was right for your horse, and that’s what counts.

    • Maine Betty says:

      You saved her from suffering and possibly fear. Bravely done, i know you are sad, but I doubt you will have regrets. My condolences for your loss.

    • Oh, babe. I had to do that with Lyle and it hurt more than I could imagine. But the few times I waited too long with an animal were much, much worse. You did the right thing. All my sympathies; I still miss Lyle.

    • Tracey says:

      25 years! That’s a hell of a long life for a horse — you must be some kind of wonderful horse mom! But that’s the worst thing abt friendship — saying goodbye. I believe you honor her with every other animal (horse or human) that you love, cause you wouldn’t hv loved so deeply without her love helping you along. Hugs and horsey head-butts…

  30. Jenny! Wondrous news from the our new favorite doctor! Happy dance (well, sorta!) over here!

    Good wolf got fed today with a trip to the orthopedic surgeon to get the stitches out of my foot, but I got a big surprise when I found out I have another 4 to 6 weeks of healing to do. I guess I thought he was going to take out the stitches, tell me to put my sock and shoe on, pat me on the head, and send me home. Not so much–still in the compression bandage, still have to be very protective, and he put me on a cane!! A cane!! For 4-6 weeks. Foot stays elevated unless I need to walk. Good wolf news is I can go back to the pool…trying not to be discouraged. I guess it supposed to still be hurting…damn… He’s very satisfied with how well it’s healing though, so there’s a good wolf cookie, right?

  31. Mitchiewitch says:

    Wow – a stellar day indeed! I agree with Carole regarding how the bad wolf gets into our lives. I can remember being told that if I could get a 99 as a grade on a test then I was capable of getting a 100 and needed to work harder. And this from a parent who loved me but who didn’t want to encourage big headedness. A method that was supported by the nuns who taught me back in the 60s & 70s.
    There’s a middle ground between everything deserves a trophy and not being able to give whole-hearted praise for anything.

  32. Redwood Kim says:

    God, I started crying myself when I read those words. Oh, Jenny – what wonderful news!Hurray Dr. NJ!

    I’m coming back later for my good wolf report – just had to react.

  33. Catherine says:

    Wow Jenny….such a positive matter of fact delivery from Dr Good Wolf. I am thrilled for you. I’m thrilled that the injection was painless. I’m thrilled at your prospects. Heck I’m thrilled you sound so upbeat about where you live. Thanks for sharing such great news.

  34. Jenny,

    Your news rocks like the Hope Diamond – big, bright, sparkly and priceless! That’s terrific.

    I’ve fed my good wolf a lot this week by taking care of myself physically and emotionally. I refuse to let other peoples’ negative energy bring me down.

    I’m eating on plan, exercising myself and my dogs and, in general, loving and appreciating my life.

  35. Redwood Kim says:

    My big girl is still giving me fits, and I am meeting those fits head on. I am keeping my cool for the most part (although I did lose it with my husband last night, after he lost it with her.)I am changing tactics when I need to. I am working diligently to keep the kindness in balance with the firmness. I am continuting to read the books. And I am seeking help. Things are better, even with the occasional set-back, and my daughter is a wonderful, caring girl who will grow up to be a strong, creative, assertive adult.
    And I walked today, under huge trees and in the comapny of squirrels and deer. I love living in the redwoods.
    Tonight we are gathering to celebrate my husband’s 50th, and there is a cake in the oven. I take good care of my family.

  36. I am interested in the color of hearts.

    In Linnets and Valerians, one of my favorite books ever, there is a discussion of hearts. One character is described as having a heart of gold, ie, good to the bone, and kind as well. Another is said to have some silver in their heart – they are capable of fine and good things, but also can be tempted by the moon into foolishness. They have a more puckish sense of humor. When we watched a lot of Muppets, we agreed Jim Henson had a heart of gold, but Jerry Juhl, one of the main writers for the Muppet Show, definitely had silver. Things were just FUNNIER when Jerry had part in the writing. I can’t remember what was up with the antagonists in the book, I think their hearts had shrunk, like the Grinch, and they needed reminding of their humanity. I think I have to go reread that.

    In other news, let me add my voice to the chorus of cheers for your retinologist!

    • Micki says:

      (-: Oh, I want to have a silver heart . . . what is life without a little foolishness? And I can blame it all on the moon . . . .

      Perhaps I have a copper heart that is slowly turning green . . . . (And what a great time to think about hearts. My V-day activities at school will start next week, I think.)

  37. Deborah Blake says:

    Yay for the new doctor! When I was seriously ill years ago, I had doctor after doctor who told me I would never get better. And then I got one who said, “I know we can fix this. I can’t tell you how, or how long it will take, but I know we can.” And that was the beginning of my long road to a reasonably healthy and (ha) normal life.

    Dr. Andrew Weil says that because doctors are this culture’s shamans, and we are predisposed to trust and believe them, if they tell us something bad, we believe that too. He calls it “medical hexing.” Not that the doctors intend to feed your bad wolf, but they do. So hurrah for the anti-hexing doctor, and for loving NJ, and for all the good stuff.

    I’m still having a pretty rocky time of it, but on the bright side, I finally have a working washer and dryer again (and hopefully the dishwasher will be fixed next week). And my cat with the chronic renal failure (I do the subq fluids at home, and we’ve been battling it for 4 years) is doing so well, I’ve now postponed her quarterly check-up. Twice. (No point in traumatizing her with a 20 minutes both ways trip to the vet, plus having her blood drawn and such, when she is doing as well as can be expected, and eating well.) So that’s happy. And they say it is supposed to get warmer…

  38. Mel says:

    That is so awesome! I think I love your new retinologist!
    I have been good wolfing by writing and doing other things in small chunks to make progress rather than giving into the Virgo must-do-it-all-now and collapse urge. Plus working on simplifying stuff so somewhat crazy writing schedule doesn’t eat my life. Good wolf quite prancey and happy!

  39. Micki says:

    OMG, I’m tearing up about your doctor — just the perfect professional. Brisk, no bullshit, and when he lets drop a happy bomb like that — “you’ll never lose your eyesight” — OMG. You can’t help but believe him! I’m sure it’s true. That is so fabulous!

  40. I love your retinologist, too. He sounds like the very best kind of doctor!

    I fed my good wolf this week by getting out of my house twice and, whee, going to CostCo for the first time since the holiday panic attacks. I bought tons of fruit and interesting water-based beverage (stuff that sparkles in unsweetened flavors :)) so I’ll also be eating lots of healthy things this weekend. My good wolf is pleased.

  41. Lois says:

    Wonderful wonderful eye news!!!
    Black heart my ass. Anyone who has ever read your books and laughed out loud or re-read them multiple times because they are such a good place to go knows you have an amazing heart.

    I thought I was listening to my good wolf this week but I am afraid it may have been the bad wolf in disguise.

  42. Oh my gods, oh my gods, oh my gods! I am so, so happy for you and the news about your eye. Here’s to that Dr. Woo-hoo! I am crying too. Being blind is one my biggest fears in life – probably because I’ve spent most of my life severely near sighted.

    I cannot believe how happy and relieved I am for you. Such wonderful, exciting, cannot be beat news. Woot to 2013.

  43. LauraAnn says:

    I wish you great health. You are a great writer and woman. But here’s the thing. Don’ t beat up on our mothers who have gone before us. I rant and love them all, I just ask acceptance. Understanding.

  44. Thank you all, so much. The only thing better than getting good news is getting good news you can share with wonderful blog-sisters. I felt happy all over again reading your comments. Thank you!

  45. Reb says:

    That’s absolutely fantastic news, Jenny! And it’s been great seeing you looking and sounding so relaxed.

    I’m trying to tell my bad wolf to go hunt somewhere else. I’m sure she’s someone else’s good wolf and she’s just got lazy expecting me to feed her. Way past time she went home. Problem is, it’s not that easy to kick her out.

    Today she’s been munching on my mix of worry and anger at my husband. He’s avoiding the housework, and I’m brooding over every. single. annoying thing he’s ever done. Not helpful.

    Instead I’m going to listen to my good wolf who’s whimpering at me. She deserves a steak. A huge one. This week, I’ve worked about 60 hours, chasing a very stressful deadline. It’s been interesting work and I’ve been doing it well, so the good wolf has been tired but not hungry.

    Then my aunt died on Thursday. Her funeral’s 2 days before my deadline, so there’s no way I can spare 1.5 days to go. I’m going anyway. Work’s been really good about it. We’re doing some of the work this weekend and other people in the team are going to pick up the rest. It’s really reminded me why I like my job – and my workmates.

  46. That is just such great news.

    I’ tend to feed the good wolf pretty well. Trying to figure out right now how to lose some weight, o that’s …not bad wolf, but not good wolf. Practical wolf.

  47. Woo HOO, Jenny! I’m so happy for you – what a way to feed that good wolf!

    I fed mine this week by taking time for me. On Thursday, despite a soft rain and being late for work, I planted 16 lettuce plants in my garden. They’d been huddled inside, waiting for the freezes to stop (I’m in So Cal) and by that time they were begging to go outside. Kind of like wee green doggies.

    So I planted. In the rain. In my pajamas. It was a glorious feeling!

    Plus, I’ve been juicing healthy every morning (home made green machine!) and trying to eat well all day. Still need to exercise, but one thing at a time.


  48. Inkgrrl just told me about the eyesight and I wanted to come over and say WOOHOO!

    This is the best news I’ve heard in ages. So so so glad to hear this and so happy the prognosis is good.

    Keep kicking ass.

  49. H says:

    oh oh oh — what your retinologist said (and how he said it) just made me feel all weepy

    I have a friend here who’s been getting eye shots for the same reason you do — her vision has definitely stabilized and even improved since beginning treatment a few years ago.

    It is a good thing to live in the future. 🙂

  50. Tracey says:

    Dear Jenny, such incredibly good news! I told my husband, who wants you to know that The Cordelia Chase Appreciation Society (Silver Spring, MD chapter) is delighted as well. (One man who doesn’t go with the “black heart” shit. What did you do to the guy, tell him the truth?). Nothin’ but good times!

  51. Yay! Jenny! Such good news.

    And I fed my good wolf – a puppy! (Not really of course. She’s right here on my lap as I type.) My first really little dog. She’s a rescue and lovely. Keeps knocking my glasses off!

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