Christmas Wednesday/Turkey Thursday (Krissie)

Crazy day today.  I’ve been on the verge of tears alternating with feeling happy and hopeful.  I think the chronic pain has a lot to do with it (I really can’t use my right arm at all nowadays) plus the hoo-rah about Tim leaving, and he had an emotional relapse (brought on by the stress of the Big Change) which gave me flashbacks.  You have no idea how bad it was last winter.  I’m pretty sure we shut Refab down around that time, so you didn’t have to hear the bloody details.   I don’t know if I was in any shape to pass on the bloody details.

But in general he’s so much better.  And I have to let go and let God.

Tomorrow we have our small thanksgiving, and I think we’ll watch Tomorrowland.  But in the meantime, I’m going to list everything I’m grateful for.

Richie, for everything.  Daniel who’s happy and employed.  Tim who’s made huge leaps and bounds in the last six months.  My grandchildren.  All the cats and dogs I’ve had over the years (I need a new fur baby or two).  My gift.  The fact that I’ve been able to make a living from it.  the stories I’m still in love with.  Audio books.  My sister and brother and mother and father and nephew and cousin, all gone now.  I’m grateful I had them for as long as I did, and I’m not longer pissed off at them for dying.  Mini-me.  Vermont.  Washington State.  GAAR (the theater group I’m part of).  My laptop.  Sewing machines. Crusie.  (This is not in order of importance — I don’t cherish sewing machines more than Crusie).  Books.   Movies and tv.  Stories.  Shakespeare.  Singing.  My cousins.  My iPad.  Al-anon.  Tom Hiddleston.  Spike.  Daniel Day-Lewis in Last of the Mohicans.  Alan Rickman.  Princeton (with all its drawbacks).  Drugs that improve things (pain, tension, depression).  Music, oh, god, music!  Hell, Derek Hough and Bindi winning Dancing with the Stars.  Sally and Lani.  Not having ovarian cancer. Vintage dolls.  Romex. Venice.  Japan.  Spain.  Being off diet sodas. Never having smoked or done acid (figured I was too crazy to begin with).  La Boheme.  Ballet.  Miss Tatlock’s Millions.  Georgette Heyer.  Mary Stewart.  Judith Ivory and Laura Kinsale.  Good Vibrations.  (the store, not the song, though the song is wonderful too).  San Francisco.  The lake.  Bob Dylan.

There’s so much more.  Anything I think of makes me feel gratitude, because even the bad stuff  brings good with it.  I could bitch about all the things that are wrong about everything I’ve listed — I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said “people are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”  Or something like that.  With a little help from Effexor and Wellbutrin, of course.

Christmas!  Did I mention how much I love Christmas?  And Refab, which gives me far more than I put out there.  And then there’s Tom Hiddleston.



How many things can you list?tom

13 thoughts on “Christmas Wednesday/Turkey Thursday (Krissie)

  1. Jessie says:

    After seeing The Last of the Mohecans I was standing in line waiting to get into the ladies room and eavesdropping on the two women waiting in front of me. One said “wasn’t that a fabulous movie” Number two “Oh yes, and I almost didn’t see it” “Why not?” “Well, Janet didn’t like it. She said that Daniel Day-Lewis spent the first twenty minutes running through the forest half undressed.” First woman “But what didn’t she like about it?”

  2. It’s okay that you love your sewing machine more than me. Completely understandable. You’ve had a lot of good times on that machine and you’ve had no good times on me. With me, maybe, but . . .

    I’m thankful for my beautiful amazing daughter and her beautiful amazing family and my brother, who’s a saint. I’m thankful for dogs and Krissie and the other friends I love but am not going to list here because that just leads to trouble. I’m thankful for yarn. And chocolate. And gravy. And books and TV and movies. I’m thankful that I live in paradise even if my cottage is still a hellhole (except I love my cottage, too). I’m thankful for great neighbors (except that one hag from hell), and my plucky mailcarrier and sweet UPS guy who are both cheerful as they haul boxes to my door. So in general, I’m thankful for a great life full of wonderful people. And dogs.

    I like my sewing machine a lot but it’s still buried somewhere up in the attic. Later for that.

  3. I’m not grateful for my asshole son who, at dinner, kept saying “Jesus Christ!” about every topic I brought up to talk to with Richie. I got up and I’m in my office. Better read my Al-non literature.
    Usually you get thanked for cooking a big meal, don’t you? I get bitched at. Not by Richie, of course.
    Just read my Al-anon stuff. Gotta put more effort into the program, since Tim is putting so much effort into being a miserable son of a bitch.
    (Sorry about that. I’m tired and upset and I shouldn’t let him get to me. I guess when I’m tired I’m more vulnerable to him.)

  4. lynn says:

    Aw Krissie, I’m sorry. Glad you sought distance, and maybe you and Richie can enjoy some dessert snuggled up somewhere private.

    I cook a big meal most Friday nights. Some people say thank you. Some people say why did we have to have chicken again, they’re tired of chicken, and why did we run out before they could have thirds. It’s the same meal for everyone, but not everyone is in the same place. Of course, it’s easier to figure that out when they are not family.

    Hugs from here.

  5. Hugs. I’m grateful for you and Crusie and the rest of the gang.

    I spent the day by myself (if you can said to be by yourself when you have 5 cats), mostly writing. It was still a pretty good day, and at least there is less drama that way.

    Happy Thanksgiving.

  6. Can you just ignore him?
    I’m thankful that you’re no longer trying to accommodate him. If more people got up and left the room when he was being a jerk, the isolation might be a clue for him.

  7. I am grateful that after two years of toil and trouble, our house is finally watertight and insulated, mostly new windows and doors, and beginning to be a place of refuge and creativity. Which takes me to my in-laws who have helped bring this about by loaning us the money to do it. I am really deeply grateful to them.

    I am hugely grateful that this year No.1 son (who I suspect could give Tim a run for his money) is in a job, and has held it down for 12 weeks….and there is no sign of them firing him yet…although he’s not yet started to pay back the £400 he owes us….because he keeps going out and drinking it away…sigh…hoping and wishing that he does not follow in his grandparents’ footsteps to drown his frustrations at the bottom of a vat of whisky.

    I am enormously grateful for Minion 2 who is the sweetest, kindest, funniest kid a mother ever had. He’s hard-working, polite, thoughtful and only 12. We went to see Inside Out together and held hands and cried, and he passed me the tissues. Whenever I get really pissed, I think of his fundamental decency and it makes me a better person – a more patient teacher, a kinder mother and wife, a calmer soul.

    At the moment am having a moment with DH, but actually, I am incredibly lucky to have a DH who is primarily committed to his family, cooks beautiful food for us, paints gorgeous pictures, reads, thinks, wins the hearts of the people he works with (little kids and big adults alike) and is a bit difficult to live with when he is stressed. Which he is because he’s in the middle of a teaching qualification which he was meant to start with a 50% timetable, but at the moment he’s working a 100% timetable and trying to do all the reading/form-filling and so on.

    Am hugely, wildly grateful to the online communities who have kept me reading, writing and thinking harder and harder about craft and commitment and how to be a writer. I think it is Crusie, Lani and you who have really made the difference in my approach and the quality of my revisions and rewriting so that now, I have a book contract, I have an agent and I have an audience for my work which does not consist of me and the DH.

    This year, I have a lot to be thankful for, a lot to be excited about. It’s tiring, stressful trying to juggle my real passion for writing with a day job which is emotionally and intellectually challenging, but actually, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I would like to be rich so I could pay back all the money we currently owe, especially to the in-laws, and to help out my cousins and friends who are struggling along like us on middle-class incomes looking at kids entering into enormous debt for their college education, but in the meantime, I’m busy, healthy, have love and warmth at home and in the workplace. Love is the real blessing.

  8. I just got home from a three day trip to L.A. I’m thankful for amazing, flowing, freeway traffic, and a wonderful daughter and her guy who I hope someday will be a son-in-law, and a terrific laid back son, and a fabulous dog to walk in the cold night air. And friends, and readers, and a simmering new manuscript awaiting a re-engagement. I realized I need a dog, but with my sometime soon move I know I need to wait until that move is complete.

    Hang in there Krissie, there is peace and quiet on your horizon.

  9. Carol says:

    Grateful for friends who are more like family, good food, Cards Against Humanity, the DH, cats, darling old lady dachsunds, a day where I don’t have to do much of anything, yarn, books, Paris, the Camino, airplanes, roadtrips, and Tom Hiddleston. Because we should all be grateful for Hiddles.

  10. Jessie says:

    I am so thankful I did not cream either the loaner or my husband’s car because I am nervous driving any car other than my own and I am not good with having passenger’s along with me.

    Back story.
    I just got back from driving a 2015 BMW loaner back to the dealership to pick up our 5 year old car, which they had to do body work on because they creamed the fender. (We took the car in to have the winter tires put on). And before my husband could get into pick up the car and return the loaner a week later, he slide on a step outside the hardware store and ripped a tendon in his knee so he is not going to be driving for weeks plus he probably has to have surgery next week when the surgeon is back from vacation. Did I mention that he rode along with me because he is already bored with not being able to do anything and he thought it would be helpful for him to come along. Did I mention I get nervous driving something other than my 23 year old car?

    So I am also thankful I have my own car to drive and that my husband has learned to stare fixedly out the passenger window or read and ignore my driving because I understand for the next month at a minimum, I have to drive him everywhere. And he loathes my driving.

    And I am really, really thankful that his injury is repairable and not something worse.

  11. Jill says:

    I love Christmas. So many good memories and family traditions. But since now it is just Joe and I here I have cut back. But. This year I host a Christmas party here the 1st. And the grands arrive the 5th. We were supposed to start unloading the attic today but since I slept until 3pm that may have to be done tomorrow. I forgot who mentioned fireplaces. 2 stories. Several years ago we had an ice storm. The town was without power for up to 9 days. We slept in front of the fireplace which we had to feed to keep warm. It was an insert which supposedly could heat the whole house. But if you had no electricity you had no fan blower. The day after the power came on Joe had a gas log put in. Story 2 . “and the stockings were hung by the chimney with care” And we were sitting in the family room after the kids were in bed. Suddenly we hear a weird noise. We look to the fireplace where the 3 inch thick walnut mantle is collapsing. One end went to the hearth. Stocking fell . Stocking holders crashed. I was accused of overloading the stockings. Maybe. I prefer to think of it as a carpenter error.

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