Furry Family

FullSizeRenderRichie and I spent the week going “awww” over all the photos that turned up in my inbox. We were talking last night, in bed, with the two kitties between us, about how much they’ve helped our lives since we got Tim’s diagnosis. Richie’s no longer as deeply depressed and hopeless, and I’m realizing that while I was broken and shattered and terrified I am not, in fact, depressed, miracle of miracles. Animals are a lifesaver.

So here goes. First up, we have Sorscha, a three year old who showed up as a kitten at Janis’s doorstep and claimed her. The funny thing is she’ll sleep on Janis’s bed but won’t let her pick her up or approach her. Cats can be like that – royalty, and you’re only allowed to approach on their terms.

IMG_2755Then we have Holly, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel/poodle cross (I really should have a CKCS – I’m a Stuart after all, and a born sucker for spaniels of all kinds, but they have tricky hearts and can die really really young – I think the poodle blood is a good infusion.    She’s Jill’s grand-dog.

IMG_0559Next comes Elemauzer (great name – sounds like Eliot, though I’m not that familiar with Cats). She’s Diane’s velcro-kitty – you know, the kind that plants itself on your lap anytime you sit and follows you into the bathroom.

Well, rats, I just accidentally deleted stuff. Anyway, we’re going to break this down into several days. For today, the last bunch belong to Office Wench, clearly a woman who knows her priorities since she has four critters. First, there’s Pumpkin by the canning supplies (looks like my house though I use my mason jars for other things). The two dogs are rescue – Jasmine has only been in her forever home since 2015, and she loves to sit on Tall Boy’s lap (I love how big dogs think they’re lap dogs). Charlie, the German-shepherd-y dog is a lot older and appointed himself Jasmine’s protector when she came home.


And then there’s Toodles, stately and bossy, the queen of the roost, I’m guessing.


More in a couple of days (this is more time-consuming than I realized but so much fun).

Kitties! (Krissie)

Well, I took my photo first but I look like holy hell – bedraggled and one eye is red for some reason, so you get spared a look at my lovely visage.  But I put Dropbox on my iPhone so I could easily move pictures, and here they are.

File Jan 02, 10 15 31 PM First, there’s Thunderpaws, aka Zeke, aka Meat. He and his half sister Olivia lived with an older woman who went into assisted living but wanted the kitties to be adopted together. However when he got to the shelter he was utterly miserable and took it out on Olivia, so they separated them. Then he went to live at the vet’s for a while as a vet kitty, but he attacked another male cat there so he was sent back to the shelter in disgrace. I’d originally planned to take Olivia and a younger cat, but they really wanted me to try taking him with Olivia, so we did, and he’s such a love. He’s an absolute horse-kitty – huge and strong and powerful, but to my great amusement Olivia’s the one who bats at him. They also play together, romping around the house and bunching up the rugs, he sleeps between Richie and me and during the night I reach out and stroke him, just because. (The cat, not Richie, you filthy-minded creatures!). He likes to sit next to us and lean against us while he snoozes.  Plus, he snores very softly.

And damn it, no matter what I do I’m not able to upload a photo of Olivia, who is a feisty little sweetheart. I guess I’ll simply save her for another day. Wanna share your pets? I wish there was a way you guys could upload pictures. Oh, yes, I think if you just send ’em to me I can upload them. Wanna try? In the new year we have to embrace what brings us joy instead of cowering in fear.

Send animal photos and names, etc. to krissieo@gmail.com and just put Pets in the subject. And we’ll have a show and tell. And I’ll start with Jenny (I already have lots of pictures of Milton, Veronica and Rosie, and Crusie just got her first eye scraped (or whatever it is they do for cataract surgery) so she’s not seeing so well.

Send pictures!


I went back to look and it seems as if I already told you all the deets about Thunderpaws (whose name must be sung in a stirring tone) and Olivia (still looking for a better name).  Oh, well, they’re so adorable they’re worth hearing about twice.

Fun times (and oh my God) (Krissie)

I’m down with Crusie.  Well, politically and all, but I’m also physically down at Squalor on the Lake, surrounded by puppies and we’re having a lovely time.  The definition of true friendship is when you can come to someone’s house and just nap.  We’ve been going out for healthy food, staying up late and watching tv – we’ve been through two seasons of Galavant and I love it to pieces.  We don’t really do anything – we just talk.  About politics, writing, sex (TMI but we were both in our chairs trying to do Kegels to see if we could figure out how much we were squeezing in order to use it in a love scene).

The dogs are great – Milton has to sit with me and cuddle, and I play a lot of Canasta online (it’s my current obsession).  Just got my revisions back and my editor verified that I had, indeed, done a brilliant job.

But … I took my photo because I tend to throw them in.  I was going around thinking I don’t look my age and feeling relatively chipper, but my chair at Jenny’s (a funky old La-z-boy) is by the window, and the sunlight is … argh!  Remind me to always be in candlelight from now on.  Except that Richie is blinded by love and thinks I look like a cross between Ingrid Bergman in Notorious and Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone.  True love is really wonderful.

Photo on 6-17-16 at 5.16 PM
How could this have happened? Look at my lovely skin! I think I need to start using face cream, not just after I take a shower. I was worried about putting on make up to look ancient for the play — I don’t think I need to. If I do I just need to follow the lines and make them deeper.
And I’ve never smoked. I hate to think how craggy and wrinkly I’d be if I smoked.
Ah, well. I’m still delightful. I just think I’d better stock up on Regenerist.

And if you don’t think the photo is that hag-like, enlarge it.  OMG, the humanity!

Christmas Wednesday (krissie)

Photo on 11-18-15 at 10.06 AM #2 Actually I should call it Holiday Wednesday, since we’re looking forward (so to speak) to Thanksgiving, and lots of people celebrate Hannukah (God, I can’t ever spell that word) and Solstice and Kwanzaa (I can spell that one) and Harvest and anything damned thing we want. But for me it’s always been Christmas — my mother used to call me her Christmas girl when I was young and she wasn’t raging. Don’t know why I love it so much, since my mother would scream and my father would drink, but I always have and I always will.
But I digress.
Of Tim’s three visits to DC this was the best, which tells you something. We drove straight down in 15 hours, getting lost in DC at rush hour, had dinner with the kids and a Tim rage after they left, a rough night’s sleep, a good day with the kids at Erin’s apartment with intermittent anger (remind me to tell you about my friend Sally) and a rage-filled night (each night about 6 hours sleep) and then a rough Sunday at the hotel, and we took off after the kids left and drove straight home through the night, arriving at 6 am. I couldn’t sleep in the car — Tim talked, though we had a good time during the drives. I got home and went to bed. Spent most of Monday in bed. Slept till noon on Tuesday, talked to Tim before he went to his therapist, then got ready to go to my therapist and couldn’t stop crying. So Richie took me and came in with me. And the prescription is to take it easy for a couple of days, don’t try to fix everything that needs to be fixed before he can go. So that’s what I’m doing.
Anyway. Looks like Tim will be here for Thanksgiving. I thought I’d hire someone to come in and clean after he left (makes no sense to do so before hand) and that will help my mental outlook. And of course I missed my Al-anon meeting. But I did keep saying, “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it” over and over again (mentally) while in DC. Which helped.
So I never decorated for autumn. Couldn’t find two of my three autumn quilts, never put out the runners or the fake foliage or the pumpkins or anything, but that’s okay.
And I’m reasonable about Christmas. If things are getting too tight and anxious I let go. Sometimes I get the Christmas dishes out, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I get sewing projects done, sometimes I don’t. It’s not worth the anxiety.
There’s a saying — happiness is lowered expectations. I’m not a perfectionist, thank God, and I’m good at letting go of things. Maybe that comes from the chaotic Christmases of my childhood. I learned to take the joy (the carols, the tree, etc) and let go of the bad stuff.
So today Im taking it easy (though they have to look at my forehead again — it’s been a bit recalcitrant with healing). And I’ve gone on a YA binge, with books with no sex. I just don’t feel like hot and bothered books right now, though in general I like them a lot. I just need to take care of myself.
I’ll go food shopping later this week for Thursday. I’ll help Tim with arrangements again tomorrow =- there’s a long list of things to do.
And I’ll greet the holiday season with joy, damn it. As my gift to myself.

Happy News (Krissie)

Tim got the job in Tahoe!  Which means he’ll be flying out sometime in the next couple of weeks, Mini-me will pick him up, and there will be joy in the land!  It’s a big step forward for him, one he’s ready to take, and a huge joy to Richie and me.  Never thought I’d long for an empty nest.


The Wedding (Krissie)

Ah, it looks as if I did talk about the wedding.   So here’s what happened.  Mini-me found a campground ten miles away, and we were able to rent a car for him to use that was dirt cheap, so Tim headed off to the wedding Saturday morning.

But the groom, his oldest, best friend from childhood, the one who had always treated him like shit, basically just looked shocked he’d showed up and then disappeared.  And of course everyone else had been invited to the rehearsal dinner, and seeing all the people who were part of the wedding party (and of course he wasn’t) and in general feeling like a second-class or even third-class citizen made him feel deeply hurt.  So he left without having a drink and drove all the way home instead, feeling rotten.

(He’s always felt “not-as-g00d” because he has severe learning differences and his so-called best friend always made him aware of them).

But it’s over.  Tim acted with class, left so he wouldn’t bring anyone down with the really hurt, bad mood he was in once he got there, and he can let go.  So can I.

Some people simply don’t behave well.  We would have invited Tim’s friend’s parents to Tim’s wedding despite the fact they dropped us, because they’d been close to Tim all his life, just as we’d been close to their son.  Tim had changed his mind about having the friend as his best man, given how badly he’d been treating him, but still was going to have him as a part of the wedding part.  They’d been best friends since they were born, through preschool, elementary school, up until Tim was dropped in high school and immediately turned to drugs.  I’m not blaming the friend — it was an inciting incident, but no one is responsible for someone else’s issues.

Anyway, now Tim’s not getting married and his treacherous best friend is getting a lot more happiness than the little skunk ever deserved (don’t mess with a mother lion!).  Mini-me helped me put the whole thing in perspective when I was down at Jenny’s, and we figured out a way for Tim to make the effort (and he would have gotten nothing but shit if he hadn’t).  Instead he got nothing but shit when he did.

I’m about ready for some good things to start happening, Lord.

Jersey, My New Jersey (Krissie)

Photo on 9-23-15 at 12.45 PM #5At least I think that’s the way the state song went — elementary school was a long time ago. I started regaling the waitress and Jenny with it at the New Jersey restaurant and was quickly silenced. Cruisie thought NJ was the Garden State because of all the parks and stuff, and I said no, it was a big agricultural center in the past and our waitress (who studied it in school too) piped up and said yes. Hence the state song. It was good they stopped me, since that’s all I remember. I should google it and see if it still exists — it was fourth grade when I learned it and that was loooooong ago.
So we sat and had the best eggs in the world and discussed makeup. Neither of us wear makeup most of the time, and neither of us bother with moisturizer or stuff like that, at least not on a regular basis, but we look quite fabulous for 66 and 67. Must be clean living.
The dogs were overjoyed to see Crusie, Richie was less overjoyed when I said I was staying one more day (but understanding), and last night we watched movies and talked. Today we’re going to just sit around and talk and Jenny will give me yarn and the dogs will cuddle and I’ll drink Mexican Coke (no, it’s not a drug — wouldn’t it be funny if one of Donald Trump’s companies was the exporter?) and just have a good time. Tomorrow I head back and face reality again.
I’ve been so slothful while I’ve been here, but I think I’ve needed to be. First I played a computer game from beginning to end. Then I watched television. I watched two and half weeks worth of General Hospital. I watched the original Blithe Spirit with Rex Harrison (boy, Noel Coward’s women were bitches and his men were victims. Funny, though.) I watched Spy and loved the penultimate scene with Jason Statham and Melissa McCarthy in bed (the whole movie was funny) and watched The Voice and Dancing in the Stars and the last three episodes of iZombie on Hulu, I watched Kingsmen (loved it!) and God knows what else. TV nonstop instead of writing. I must have needed it.
Photo on 9-23-15 at 12.46 PM Milton just crawled into the chair I broke (the fact that I broke the recliner might have something to do with my not writing) and he’s trying to crawl on the keyboard. Ah, Milton!
He’s also dropping a masticated rawhide chew on my hand.
Jenny’s doing great — her father was 89 years old and died peacefully in his sleep. So we’re just going to sit around and enjoy ourselves and not worry about anything.
Nothing better than sister time. I just wish Lani were here too.