So … my excuse for coming down here was to take Jenny to the eye doctor, where they usually dilate her eyes, rendering her unable to drive, and even give her a shot in the eye (squick!) Unfortunately, neither Jenny nor I have any sense of direction, and I hadn’t been able to find my GPS before I came down this time. Being responsible, we had both looked up the directions on our computers, compared notes, and took off with the assurance we would find our way there. The last time we’d gotten lost and were half an hour late – that wasn’t going to happen again.
So, we left with twenty minutes to spare. Uh … no. We started down Route 206 and suddenly we were on i-80, which wasn’t supposed to happen. But okay, next exit was 206 and we took it and sailed on down the road. After a while Ethel er … Jenny hadn’t noticed any signs to Hackettstown, so I pulled over, looked at my phone and saw we were on the right road. We persisted. (Not always a good idea). Finally about an hour later we pulled over, Jenny called her doctor to tell him we were lost in the wilds of New Jersey, and I checked Maps again. Apparently the last time I checked I hadn’t realized that the place I thought was our end point had been our beginning point and we had to go back for half an hour.
So, I get the direction thing going on the phone and finally get there (just a few more wrong turns easily fixed), just an hour and a half late. Okay, we’re there. They were not pleased. We sit for a little bit, Jenny looks out the windows and says “Oh, there’s the cutest dog …” and then she leaps up like Road Runner with an Acme Exploding Bird Seed under him, races to the receptionist and then out the door, saying a woman had collapsed. We all rush out. The woman is lying on the sidewalk, blood pouring in front of her, her ancient and darling toy poodle prancing around in concern. (That was Gidget). Jenny, whose priorities are clear, grabbed the dog, the nurse went to the lady, sent other sback for something to mop up the blood. I scooped up her keys and an earring and her glasses. She couldn’t get up — she’d tripped, probably, but she’d just gone straight down without trying to catch herself, and then hadn’t moved. The blood came from her chin, and she was unable to get up because she’d just had two hips replaced. We kept her company, I went back and forth with information (her name, etc), killed the bugs that were crawling toward her in her pool of blood, then took the dog when the doctor (who’d come out to check) saw Jenny. The police came, the ambulance came, they were able to patch her up and let her go, and we reluctantly surrendered Gidget to her (after Jenny helped her to her car). She was very very grateful, of course, but we stayed and watched her leave – her license plate said Jo Mo (hence the Mo Jo because her name was Judy and her last name began with a V).
So the, after all that excitement we went to Target and rewarded ourselves with new 18 inch dolls and McDonalds, came back home and napped.
Ah, New Jersey!
I’m writing, Jenny’s making vast improvements on clearing out her house, and as usual I’m staying an extra day. I always have too much fun to go home when I plan to.
Anyway, good times at Squalor on the Lake, and Milton likes me more than he likes her, ha ha ha! (I’m going to steal him)
Oh, and it turns out I didn’t need to come down to take her to the eye doctor – he didn’t give her a shot in the eye or dilate her. Still, it made a good excuse, and I made her pay for McDonalds. Life’s an adventure.
Typical conversation in the car-
Jenny: If I were a better person I’d like wine
Krissie: If I were a better person I’d be a Lesbian.
We spent a moment brooding on our inadequacies and drove off down the road.