All About You (Krissie)

Richie just brought me pumpkin spice oatmeal. Yum.
I slept late. Till ten-thirty, actually. So here I am, noshing on oatmeal, ready to get to work.
I’ve written 15,000 words on NANO which is too little, and I have one more day of revisions, and I spent yesterday quilting and then having to rip everything out because the tension was fucked. Ah, life. I’ve been pushing just a wee bit too hard, and my body started rebelling.
The thing is, I grew up without parental guidance or expectations. I came from an academic family where my parents had no interest in whether I went to college or not. (Odd – they sent my sister, they fussed about my brother, but they just sort of ignored it when it came to me – though I imagine part of that was the force of my personality. They would just assume I would see to things).
But anyway, I had to learn my own self-discipline, and unfortunately the way it works out is that I don’t feel good unless I write. I assumed I had put a heavy guilt trip on myself (writing=good, everything else=bad) but now I’m wondering if it’s not just who I am. I saw this meme (or is it a gif – I don’t know the difference) on Pinterest (my favorite playground). Except, crap, I can’t find it now. There it is. Or a different version of it.

I’ve sometimes thought about what it would feel like not to have the pressure to write, not to think about publication and proficiency (I’m against perfection. I do want to be glorious – not just proficient, but I want messy and magnificent on my tombstone).

So I need to climb back into the saddle. Once I get HEARTLESS off I’ll be able to concentrate on the novella and other things and not feel so self-pressured.
Is this just a writer thing? Because it takes so long to complete something (months, years) that we have an extra amount of stress we can’t escape? Or is it simply human nature? Are any of you similarly … I was going to say driven, but that sounds too ambitious. Are any of you similarly … er … constrained?

Ok, OK it’s my issues. Driven to do something is accurate. Is there anything you feel driven to do this week? Can you at least party down once you’re done? I’ve been known to turn up the stereo loud and dance around the house when I’ve finished a book.

Back to the grindstone. (Oh, Richie – where’s my coffee? I do have the best husband. He’s very tolerant about waiting on me while I’m writing – up to a point, that is).

What’s on your agenda?

4 thoughts on “All About You (Krissie)

  1. Carol says:

    I need to knuckle down on performance reviews here at the office. It’s my first year doing them, so I’m having some got-to-get-them-right anxiety, which is leading to a bit of avoidance behavior. I’m nowhere near up against the gun, I just don’t want to get there!

    In more fun stuff, there’s crochet (Secret 60th Birthday Project 2) and gardening (going to build a stacked stone raised bed!).

  2. Lynda says:

    So how is the pumpkin spice oatmeal? The day before I got sick I went to Trader Joe’s and stocked up on various pumpkin spice goodies, only to discover that most of them were just weird. (Pumpkin spice tortilla chips? Really? I should have known without buying them that was a no-brainer.) I’m sure the timing was coincidental, although it probably explains why I have no further interest in pumpkin spice this season. I will say that the pumpkin spice Jojos (Oreo-type cookies, for those not familiar with TJ’s) were excellent, to the point that I gave them to the grandkids rather than have them around the house. As for anything going on right now, I’m barely leaving the house, which may or may not have anything to do with my ongoing depression. I did see MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS with my son and 17-year-old grandson the other night. We all thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned that this year I have introduced Preston to the joys of Agatha Christie, and we have been having some fun conversations. Otherwise my only compulsion is marching up and down the hallway, logging steps on my Fitbit that a friend gave me after my hospitalization. I may not be going anywhere, but I am actually a lot more active than I was just a few weeks ago. Baby steps still, but a fair amount of them every day.

  3. Office Wench Cherry says:

    We have to take the truck to the city today to get some work done on and do some Christmas shopping. Tomorrow we pick up the new puppy. I’m not sure Tall Boy is ready for a pup, especially one 8-10 weeks old. It’s been a very long time since he’s had a young puppy.

    Other than that, I’m trying to get a few more projects done before Christmas and get some work for money done so I can relax over the Christmas slow time.

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